Why is XN so angry towards me?

Hello,

My XN is a colleague. We don't work together every day, but when we do . . . ohhhh, those are days are hard.

Yesterday we worked together, and it was typical of how things are at the moment. We work in a big room with a bunch of other people. I purposely sit at the other end of the room, and stay out of his way as much as I can. I only discuss work matters with him, and usually only via business-like emails (even if he is only a few seats away). I'm not mean, rude or unprofessional; I just don't engage with him. My relationship with my other colleagues, meanwhile, is the same as it has always been: friendly and fun.

The above paragraph makes it sound relatively easy, but it's not. I am very aware, every second of the workday, that he is in the room. I force myself not to look at or make eye contact with him, but my ears are tuned into him. I feel on edge all day - though, to my credit, I think I do a pretty good job of hiding it. My top half looks calm (I hope!), but underneath the desk, my legs are are fidgeting. Being in the same room with him is like one big trigger. And not helping matters is the recently acquired knowledge, via my reading about narcs and the Madonna/Whore Complex, that he probably regards me as a "whore".

Having said that . . . while I am still clearly a long way from the indifference I crave, I am getting to the point where I think, I hope, just maybe, I can continue in this job (which I love in every other respect). It's hard, but for the one or two days a week I have to see him, I think I will eventually develop enough coping mechanisms. I got out of their alive yesterday, for example. And don't feel too bad today.

HOWEVER, one thing I am REALLY struggling with at the moment is his anger towards me. It is very subtle, because he doesn't want our colleagues to know what happened between us. (Nor do I.) But it is certainly there - such as yesterday, when he had to give me a document, he slapped it down on my desk, rather than handing it to me. And other subtle digs - such as mispronouncing my name, which he knows I hate.

I don't understand WHY he is angry towards me. He's living with OW now; everyone else at work still adores him; I am keeping out of his way (i.e. not goading or bothering him or crying at him or even interacting with him in any way). He DD'd me; he treated me like sh*t and got everything he wanted. Why so angry, therefore? I don't geddit.

Thoughts, friends?