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why we are drawn to narcissists and why we are a magnet to them

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#1 Sep 15 - 7PM
Tinker
Tinker's picture

why we are drawn to narcissists and why we are a magnet to them

http://www.thespiritualeclectic.com/2010/08/22/the-relationship-between-...

did Lisa's blog of the same title resonate with anyone else?? it was so eye opening to me, explaining why i put up his odd and selfish behavior and felt his pain. other women easily walked away from him, women i thought just had higher self esteem, but they were not empaths. between the empathic feelings and his manipulation my emotions got so enmeshed with his to the point i was barely functioning. my family didn't validate my strong empathic feelings growing up so i was used to that with the N. it was problematic with some guys, but with the N it was completely toxic and obsessive. i'd love to hear if many/most of us are empaths.

it still hurts but it's one more step in understanding. anyone else an empath??

5 days NC, marissa

Sep 15 - 7PM
NancyM
NancyM's picture

Empaths

I started finding out more info on empaths before I found out much about Narcissists, so by the time I began to accept Ns, it all fell into place. Because I was constantly being told that I had issues, I did a lot of soul searching, because I seemed to have a habit of hooking up with a perfectly nice guy, and turning them into a raving psycho within 6 months. So yes, I thought it was all me. Finding out about empaths, and introverted personality types, I slowly pieced some things together, and had actually reduced the enmeshment somewhat before I found some real help. It was the unwinding, that actually drove him nuts. If I tried to explain it to him, he just got a smug look on his face as I was admitting to some liability. While it can still be a controversial subject, and there are some different interpretations for it, it was because of this that I did not have any problems with exploring what it meant to have codependent tendencies. From reading on this site and others, it seems to me that being highly empathetic spells TARGET for an N. It is something they want that they have not got, and we have it in bucket loads. I think Ns believe they may be able to learn off us how to be empathetic, but they do not realize it is something we FEEL, as opposed to COPYING.

Nevergoback