why does not matter

A woman often stays with a man when she knows she should go. I've heard of many reasons why she stays even if he treats her like dirt, cheats on her, abuses her, lies to her habitually, and just flat out disrespects her. Many women stay because they don't want to start over, some rarely admit it but, the sex is so intense that it keeps her from leaving and throws out all logic and confuses emotions. Other excuses are self esteem, fear, financial purposes, for the kids etc. Although, I know that every last one of these "reasons" are far more deep rooted issues to be dealt with; none of them will ever be acceptable.

When she finally sees the picture on the wall for what it really is, she'll realize it's not a Picasso.

Logically, once the picture is clear, women tend to end the relationship. You cut all ties...you box yourself in so that you can be protected from him. But that's mostly because you feel foolish and pride has kicked in, he's been playing you the whole time, the old you would've never allowed this happen. Here's lies the problem, you forgot all about you.

Emotionally, you are a wreck and the love you have for him seems a thousand times heavier. The anger rushes, the pain is constant, and the questions are never ending. You feel like you can't breathe any more, and the thought of living life without him is unimaginable. That's normal, you love the man, and you can't help the emotions despite how bad he's treated you. The emotions are always real. However, the one unanswerable question that is inevitable that you ask is...Why?

The WHY does not matter. The WHY never will. The WHY In a one sided relationship is not for you to figure out. The WHY is for him to unravel (if he ever does), it has nothing to do with you, or what you did, or what you didn't do. More importantly, it's not your role to make him make you understand WHY It is not your role to try and prove to him for the 100th time, you are a good woman. Truth is, that was never your job, it's was always his.

The reason you are asking WHY? Is because subconsciously, you knew it was something wrong the entire time but, you thought it would change, you thought he would change. You thought you could ignore his actions for what they really were. Or it really wasn't what you thought it was (like the other woman). You kept thinking you can control him and everything he does by continuing to give, give, give and receive less, less, less! Now your eyes are opened and the real pain begins.

Once the hurt begins to subside, eventually the WHY transitions from hurt to anger. Consciously now, you are ready to make what matters most to you right again. You UNDERSTAND you are the only thing you can manage and control. You have the choice to direct your life in what ever direction you choose and that includes especially relationships. To try and figure out why a man did not love you as much as you loved him, or why he cheated on you, or why he can't just love you more etc., is a horrible suffering. You didn't deserve this suffering when he inflicted it and you don't deserve to inflict it upon yourself. Like I ALWAYS say; He is going to be who he is, whether it is with you or another woman, he's going to be the same man. In other words, if he's a dog and is dogging women, then if it wasn't you he dogged it was going to be the other woman. If he's a good guy and treats a woman right in a relationship, it was going to be you or another woman who is ready to have that kind of man in her life.

Healing from heartache is undoubtedly a process. It does not happen over night. There is not a time table to when the heart should heal. It just happens. It begins with your actions and getting back to the core values that are important to you. You must eliminate wrong spirits and destructive mind-sets that have infected you mentally and emotionally from being involved in the relationship. You must hold yourself accountable again and reconnect the strengths that are innately within. Surround yourself with a warm and non judgmental environment of family, close friends, a Coach, and your kids. The more positive energy you shine on you the stronger you inner being becomes the easier the healing It is OKAY to be vulnerable and cry. This is apart of the healing. Always be moving forward, do not back track. That is a terrible pitfall and nothing but hell lives in it. Ask any woman, any of your girlfriends who have experience what I'm talking about. Do not go back there.

Just as well, allow yourself to except exactly what it is you want from a healthy relationship. Allow your desire to embrace personal growth, experience joy and exercise the choice of being in the relationship that you deserve. Isn't that what it's really all about?