Why Do I Feel Like Throwing Up?

We have a child together and I keep contact to email only or texting for emergencies. It's been 5 months out of the nightmare and my anxiety gets just a bit better every day.

My baby girl has been sick since last week and I sent her antibiotic with him last Friday for his week (we have a shitty week on/week off temporary custody visitation schedule). Starting Wednesday this week, I noticed she seemed to be getting worse but didn't say anything. He's doing the "super dad" routine for all to see so I waited to see if he'd initiate contact with me or talk to the daycare staff about it. Nothing. She looked a little worse yesterday and today was the worst by far as she has a green yucky nose, eye discharge, cough, low grade fever and circles under her eyes. I'm surprised the daycare had not called me to talk about it but it's HIS WEEK.

So I just now sent him an email and even thinking about signing in to the special email account I set up specifically for this makes me feel so anxious. Then as I write the email I overthink every word and wonder how he will twist this or that to make me look like a bad mom. I don't hit send until I've read it 2 or 3 times to make sure it's as benign as I can get it. I always anticipate some sort of rage reaction or word salad based on the abuse history with him.

Will my anxiety/barfy feelings subside in time? Does it ever get easier to be in contact and not feel like I'm dying all over again?

I can literally feel the anxiety washing over me right now.