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Why didn't he meet my mom?

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#1 May 16 - 10PM
lostlove458
lostlove458's picture

Why didn't he meet my mom?

I am doing better friends, by not looking on exn facebook, however it hits me every once in awhile on how he never got close to anyone of my family members or friends for that matter but the whole time we were together off and on for 4 1/2 years but I was always around his family, we would have cookouts at my family's house and I would invite him but there was always an excuse and well it hurts me to see how he befriends everybodys and new ow family and friends and even his other womens families so how could I have not taken it personal? I felt as if I wasn't good enough for him to meet my family but it shocked me to see how fast he met new ow family and spent the holidays with her and her family after so soon! Things just trigger my mind and eats at me from time to time! I have to keep reminding myself that it's OVER and he is gone! It's been 8 months nc and since he dd me!! Why didn't he get close to my family?!

May 17 - 8PM
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

He refused to meet my family

For 10 years - yes, I put up with this because my family is back EAst and I am not close to them. I needed him to be my family more...I realize I have deep seated abandonmnet issues
May 17 - 8PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

I never met his family

The ex-Psych prof was Daddy enmeshed (instead of Mommy enmeshed, so yes, he was a unique specimen)... and he flew into a jealous snit because I heard his father on the radio. His father is an awesome, accomplished scientist, able to carry on a NORMAL conversation. The ex-P was paranoid about being covered in the press... he didn't even want to be interviewed for the college newspaper. But his father has been on NPR, in DISCOVER, etc. The ex-P met my mother&my sister at graduation. It was awkward... he made a pompous @$$ of himself. He had expected me to give up my family for him... that backfired epically. Maybe he was afraid I'd get validated if I met his parents.
May 17 - 8PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Mine new my family and they

Mine new my family and they loved him for awhile and at first took his side alot of the time and thought I was overreacting until they finally saw it for themselves. They really couldnt believe it. He was so good at charming them. In gerneral, I think they tend to stay away from the whole family scene if they can. They arent comfortable with it at all. Unless of course it benefits them in some way like possibly the parents owning a business or something he wants to worm his way into otherwise they could careless about your family. Its always about whats in it for them.
May 17 - 7PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I understand how you feel

But if you really look at it, if you love your family, isn't it better they didn't come in contact with his poison? It is bad enough he's hurt you but at least he did not get to infect the entire family. Moreover they're so conniving and charming, could you imagine his brainwashing them and your family thinking you were to blame?... All kinds of crazy scenarios could play out. He could have conned them for money...who knows. I am sorry you had to have contact with him, but in a way, at least family was spared. That is another way we could look at it. Why feel inferior because he wasn't able to fully poison your environment? That is, when you come out of this - the reality...we pine for them...why her, not me...when we fail to realize: THANK GOD HER AND NOT ME!!! AND if we're real empaths and the new one has not intentionally harmed us, we pray for their safe delivery from their new victim status. Hugs!
May 17 - 6PM
findingmeagain
findingmeagain's picture

HELLO LL GLAD YOU'RE BETTER.

Why would he want to get close to ppl who are going to rat him out as being crazy? Be glad he didn't want to meet them like my ex N he met my whole family and had everyone fooled except for the men of my family and one female member of my family. Everyone was fooled. I went to my grandmother for advice and she told me to keep the peace when i told her i was living with jekyl and hyde! She thought I was fabricating until she heard him cursing me out one day over the phone. She still told me to try to work things out for the kids! look at what that got me if i would've listened to myself atleast i would've D&D'd him first ! smh forget this prick I'm telling you he knew he wasn't worth meeting your family .
May 17 - 6PM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Hunter is right! It's all

Hunter is right! It's all about them!!If they don't benefit from meeting someone then they won't do it. My narc met my parents once and it was brief. He never ever met the rest of my family. He wouldn't come to holiday's and when we were engaged it was silent. I didn't call my family really all excited that I was engaged. It felt weird to be engaged because I knew he was a narc. It's truly just about them!!!
May 17 - 6PM (Reply to #3)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

happy1

don't tell me this. Makes me mad, Another Jackoff
May 17 - 6PM (Reply to #4)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

hunter

I consider it a learning curve in life. I won't be so meek and giving and nice again. I won't let a man dictate my life again! He did me a favor! I've been learning a lot! 8-)
May 17 - 6PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Because its all about him!

Because its all about him!