1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. why am i starting to have panic attacks

why am i starting to have panic attacks

14 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Apr 5 - 1PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

why am i starting to have panic attacks

He's gone. He's been gone. This past week was only about him locking the door but the door was already shut. In some weird way his discard gave me closure that I never got round one. We just simply faded away and I met someone else. This time he's told me I'm getting married. I mean that's the end closure but now I have started having panic attacks as if he is some lind of threat to me

Apr 5 - 8PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

yes it most definitely set me

yes it most definitely set me back but Im slowly getting to my feet. Tonite I started reading about healing codependence. I cant fix him. I never could. I can only fix me and protect me from this ever happening again. so my bff called tonite we havent spoken since this happened I answered the phone and she started the conversation with "That mofo is lying his ass off. I dont believe that shit for one second. Sick of it why cant you see that this is a pathetic attempt to reel you in. I said no I dont think so. I know with every bone in my body. I pray that its true hes getting married but Im afraid its not. He saw you were beginning to move on. I hate that mo**er f@#ker. I hated him 20 years ago and I hate him now." Sometimes I take comfort in the fact that it was attempt to reel me back in and sometimes Im in sheer terror that he will just pop up out of the blue. Every thing with these people generates conflict and anxiety within us even the Discard!
Apr 5 - 8PM
Smarterthanever
Smarterthanever's picture

Feeling your pain

This post made me remember my Zanax days. Those days have past for me but obviously this contact from him has set you back. We both know it will pass again and there is no shame in some Zanax to get you through. This was the first time I had panic attacks in my life and they are a bitch. I also got a pillow pet (cute soft little doggie) and held it to my chest as I fell asleep. Stilldoing that actually! It sounds silly but it was soothing during those horrible days and is still a comfort now. So sorry for your renewed pain SOI. Love you!
Apr 5 - 8PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

SOI

Because you still didn't get closure. You got Bullshit and they just push buttons and hurt us. Get mad and Even ,fuck the panic attacks. SOB GRRRR Idealk These Narcs are making me mad tonight.
Apr 5 - 6PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Strange feelings

I am having all of these feelings all at once relief,fear,deep sadness. It so strange to be fearful and feel relieved at the same time. I dont know what I am so fearful about as its over now but sometimes I feel like it might not be. I dont know its all so strange. Its almost like I feel something is looming out there. I have suffered so much trauma with this man and repressed alot of it almost 15 years and now I have just added more. Im not gonna get to counseling fast enough
Apr 5 - 10PM (Reply to #10)
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

SOI feeling for you but also feeling it

I can't wait until my counseling appmt on Thurs. I feel just as raw on vacation as I did back in my apt down the street from him. I have alot of friends here but have not been reaching out. I think we need to reach out and get grounded around safe people and not spend too much time alone. I tend to be a loner unless I push myself and being alone makes me obsess too too much. This stuff is WEIRD and BIZARRE!!! I do not know any friend who has ever gone through silent treatment and crazy abandonment. For me its like I keep having the conversations with him that I never got a chance to have. I write emails and then delete them... I am really glad he does not know what a horrible psychological toll his behavior has had on me. I feel I lost my whole ego and dignity - he watched me go through shock and denial when I had no idea whether or not he had dumped me, but at least I never begged him back. Not because I have so much strength but because I was too dazed to know what hit me... We have good days and bad. Today was a bad day for you but tomorrow may be better. He dropped a bomb on you but that is his problem. These guys don't care about anyone or the pain they inflict. They just are having fun, maybe like we were in seventh grade when you would go steady with someone for 24 hours and then change your mind the next day. I know I was a little scared to break up with them for a minute and then I was on to the next fun thing...I think they are that under developed. Remember being a kid?
Apr 5 - 5PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

They're a natural response...

I had MAJOR panic attacks during&after the final D&D. The PTSD hit hard when I was in the teaching education program at UNM... especially when one of the required essays advised teachers to treat their students AS OBJECTS. I found it profoundly triggering. Recently, when cleaning up my apartment, I consigned it to the recycling dumpster. I was going through panic attacks. When I went home, I was mentally drained. I was too spent to look for work. I wanted my books&my music. I even found a biopic about the love of Queen Victoria and her husband Prince Albert I found triggering. I was triggered when I briefly worked at a Christian school, and the manager took me aside for a half hour lecture on the way I dressed. It reminded me of how the ex-Psych prof lectured me for being a slut whenever I wore a skirt or dress. I also had panic attacks at my new job 2 years ago, after leaving the toxic Narc workplace of 5 years. I was on edge. My supervisor was quite understanding. I'd be paranoid about reading the work schedule... because of what happened at the Narc workplace. Panic attacks are a NATURAL response to emotional trauma.
Apr 5 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Susan

HuH?!! especially when one of the required essays advised teachers to treat their students AS OBJECTS That's sick!! Do you remember the name of the essay or the author?... AND we wonder why society is so effed up?
Apr 5 - 10PM (Reply to #7)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Yikes... I TOSSED it...

I think my memory blocked it, and thanks to this site, when I dumped it... it was literally out of sight, out of mind. I guess I was taking NC to its logical conclusion, sending it to an afterlife as toilet paper (lots of companies use recycled paper for toilet paper) The essay was so traumatic at the time that it made for a difficult read (and yes, I had panic attacks while in the program) The program has probably changed over the years, so it might not be required reading now. I remember calling a friend in CO at the time, saying, "I KNOW what it's like to be a student and to be treated like an object." But since karma is a kind mistress to those who respect her... I did find another teaching job, it worked out, the people were great... and tho I did leave the job, it was of my own volition, the closure was good. I guess when it comes to NPD, I'd rather be reading the classics like Tolstoy than boring essays geared to future teachers.
Apr 5 - 10PM (Reply to #8)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I think whomever wrote that

is sick!! Sometimes kids in the classroom already come from abuse...sometimes the only love they get is from a teacher which is why sometimes by mistake they call you "mommy"...JESUS that is upsetting! OMG... So much for leave no child behind... Hugs!
Apr 5 - 3PM
JRB123
JRB123's picture

Earlier Post

Hope you are ok.I have had these before and they are really horrible.There was an earlier post on this forum today about how to deal with panic attacks which was very helpful. Definately worth a look.I think it is the body's reaction to stress having a flight or flight reaction. Take it easy on yourself as much as you can. You have been through a tough experience, now it is time for you to recover from that.Hope things get better.
Apr 5 - 1PM
jen79
jen79's picture

sick of it

I know what you feel. Today I felt better, like the devil has left me, but seems the demon just jumped from the narc to my narc father to get me. Its like a demon is haunting me. I feel like having a panic attack, cant barely breath. I guess we have to clean us out, and do everything possible to never let toxic people have one foot into your lives. Please block him or change your number. Its the toxic energy from them that we cannot handle. No one can. Hugs
Apr 5 - 1PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Panic attacks are part of

Panic attacks are part of PTSD and linked to the fight or flight mode of survival we all have . Say when we where with the narc we where in survival mode which puts us on a high state of alertness and we have to keep it together while we are with him . but when we go NC and the danger has seamingly past the brain takes a while to catch up with reality that the danger has gone so we are still in fight or flight mode consently looking for threat .. Heres an exsample of how a panic attack would be triggered in me (everyone is diffrent ) loud noises would send me into orbit and if i ever heared someone shout in anger i would start to hyper ventilate but not there and then but when i got home and safe i would all of a sudden be having a panic atact which seemed to come from nowhere but the trigger was always there , so you have to recognise youre triggers ... Dont avoid the trigger but recognise it . Panic attacks are horrible and make you feel like you are going mad or having some kind of break down , meds will help but also time and NC , its just a left over for a narc relationship and like all the stages we have it passes in time ... god the narc is just the gift that keeps on giving eh ?
Apr 5 - 1PM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

SOI

My thoughts are you with you today. I know how you feel and it truly sucks that he would contact you with that bit of information to lash out at you. He's a JERK! Maybe it feels more final since he said he's getting married. There's no going back in your mind. It's hard to let go I know!!! But really is anything final with these men? You're so much better off without him in your life. He's scum on your shoe!