why??

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#1 Sep 22 - 6PM
M
M's picture

why??

The xN is so adamantly opposed to counseling for our daughter. I asked the school counselor to be available for my daughter if she needs someone to help her/ talk to. Told my daughter the same thing.
But xN sent me angery texts & voicemails. Has threatend to take me to court over this---and had his mother call me.
I have ignored/not responded.
Any thoughts???

Oct 2 - 5AM
Alive
Alive's picture

AAAhhhh The Mother

He got his mother involved? Was he stamping his feet and having a tantrum! lol, my exN ALWAYS involves his mother. (Although she has not called me). The only reason he collects his D is 1. to hand her over to the mother 2.gives him supply 3. makes him look as if he is a good father. 4. to take the D AWAY from me (control) WHen the adoration stops from my D he will D/D her, then the cycle will repeat again. He is controlled by his mother, this is what i am researching at the moment!. I think he needs to control me and his D because he is controlled by his mother. He does not like me, infact i think he hates me!!, do i care? NO. I have got over that now, got over the 'why is he being so horrible to me (and his D). The more i read and research the more i understand and boy! he is one f***** up idiot! It has taken me years to get to this understanding, I stumbled on this site a couple of months ago, it was fate that i did, this board has helped so much :) I am not only dealing with Narc boy, i am also dealing with his MOTHER. I am sure as hell going to be strong for my D and keep this pair as far away from her as much as possible.:) Sooooo leave the Narc boy to himself and please have no contact with his mother. It has helped me :)
Oct 11 - 7PM (Reply to #8)
M
M's picture

Mommy's boy

You nailed it. He lost his car lease...and filed for bankruptcy. He can't buy a new car...and instead of mommy giving him some cash to buy wheels, she's giving him her car. Why? He needs a nice car when he goes to his private club. Gotta keep up appearances. Oh, he's 47. He makes me sick.
Oct 12 - 1PM (Reply to #9)
Alive
Alive's picture

Yes

Mummy will bail him out. ALWAYS. He is going on vacation and he emailed to say that his mummy is more than happy to have her. F Off. (excuse language, bad evening). I do hope your babies are well, my baby is feeling that her father 'does not care about me (D)', poor little baby. She will see sense, as she is doing now, and when the big one comes, when she totally abandon's HIM, i will still be there to hold her hand. :)
Sep 23 - 8AM
Klarity Belle
Klarity Belle's picture

All about him!!

In true N style he is not thinking of your daughter here and her needs. He is only thinking of his own and right now that need is NOT for anything to be uncovered about him by your D's counsellor. I am guessing it is something along these lines, my xnco-parent was the same when I told him I was taking youngest D to counsellor, he fired a whole load of abuse.... I was pandering to her drama... he would have no part of it whatsoever... I was setting the example to our children that every day problems could only be sorted out with the help of a therapist.... get real, I was over dramatic.....blah blah blah he used his wife as proxy recruitment to blab more of the same BS too - just like your N is using his Ma (ahh duudums!) "Oh put a sock in it Narky, I hope you self-combust with all the hot air unable to escape - cos you are full of it!" (that and BS!) If I was in your shoes I would call his bluff and tell him to go ahead and take you to court over it but your D is going to get the support she needs(With an N for a dad i'm sure she does). You know it is him who is going to look foolish in front of any judge for opposing something so helpful, he most likely knows it too he is just trying to manipulate you into not doing it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran "That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran

"That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung

http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

Nov 21 - 5PM (Reply to #5)
crj3252
crj3252's picture

OH MY GOSH! I THINK WE HAD THE SAME NARC!!!!!!

I was just paging through and saw your post! My EX said all the same things about my kids being in counseling! I was dramatic, I needed counseling, and they need to learn how to cope!!! Wow I'm so glad I found this website! Hope all is well!!!!
Nov 21 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

counseling

I really pushed therapy and he fought me too. I stopped contact and let the courts read my emails suggesting therapy and he wouldn't agree. The corts do not favor a PDI. They see him coming.
Sep 25 - 3AM (Reply to #4)
Alive
Alive's picture

You

are correct, he is not thinking about her needs, only his. The child is his NS. The child is also their for 'punishing' you. This sounds harsh and believe me when i understood all of this i was in bits! My poor child. They view thier children as a extension of theirselves. Could you imagine that? his perfect parenting skills coming into question. His Ds feelings being aired, that to the N is hell on earth. They are in constant deniel, oh i could i forget and TOTAL CONTROL. Call his bluff as Klarity says. Stick to your guns and go for it, it's not about HIM! Its for your D.:)
Sep 22 - 11PM
De
De's picture

De I can't imagine any Judge

De I can't imagine any Judge being opposed to counseling especially if the mother feels their child needs to be in counseling.Even more I think the Judge might look suspiciously at him for not wanting her to go. You have to do what YOU think is right for her.

De

Sep 29 - 4AM (Reply to #2)
NancyM
NancyM's picture

Agree with all of the above.

Agree with all of the above. Call his bluff, I can't see how you would have anything to lose over it.

Nevergoback