Who's Ex Narc was Profusely Judgemental, Prejudice, Loud, Obnoxious, Talked behind peoples back INCLUDING YOURS!

The ex-Psych prof thought it was immensely *FUNNY.* He'd mock me during class, tell his male disciples how he wished I'd drop dead, and constantly say "if you're so sad, why don't you kill yourself?" His behavior eventually drove me to the therapist's office (it was his idea, she was one of my professors at the time, she was appalled) He'd say during class that I was seeing the therapist to "learn how to manage my feelings." One of his male disciples said he thought I was like a cartoon... and here I was, grieving. He enjoyed humiliating me in public... but he couldn't stand it when *ALMIGHTY ME* turned the tables. When the senior skit mocked him... he ran out. He got up and RAN. To put the frosting on the cake, I happily, gleefully said with a smile he missed out on the scene ridiculing him. He said he didn't make fun of himself because he took himself *SERIOUSLY.* Yet he had no problems mocking&sneering at my grief. He was my teacher, not my boyfriend/spouse. Don't worry... I found ways to humiliate him. And how. I can give Narcissistic Injuries a dime a dozen.

My ex-N would embarrass me so many times in public. He always thought he had to drink to be the life of the party,and he would act so ridiculous that many people would give me such looks and say things to me like " What the hell are you doing with someone like that?" It seemed like most of the time we went out, he was always looking to somehow talk and spend time with anyone else but me.he always was looking for someway to be the C.O.A. in a restaurant, say he was going to the bathroom, and be gone for so long talking to people who we didnt even know.If I brought up this to him, he would remark that I make too big of a deal about everything.I know I wasnt cause so many times strange people sitting around observing say " Why are you with this man? He does not treat you well!" But if I did anything like that, well, would I catch hell from him. How many times did I have to hear that?? I am only 6 days into telling him to get out of my life, and it is so difficult. This site may just save me and help me to remain strong. Thank-you everyone

Yep! Thats H.S.A. to a T.

YEP! First night together he just came out and said, "oh those ni--ers?" And then his roomate told me she was depressed because her daughter was dating "a black boy", that it was "just wrong", it's "not right", "the bible says dating a black man is wrong". I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT.

The ex-Psych prof was incredibly prejudiced, presenting himself as a conservative Upholder of Family Values. He was very much anti-religion... and that included Buddhism. I'd ask him why he wrote about religion, and he said that it was to expose religion as one big con game (projection much??) He mocked this collective of black LGBT rappers called "Rainbow Flava." Now... I'm dating myself... LOL... I watched a documentary recently and Rainbow Flava came out, so to speak, in the late '90s. He was always mocking Rainbow Flava. He was virulently homophobic... thanks to the lesbian on-site therapist (who lives with her girlfriend) and his openly gay colleague... I NEVER got physically/romantically involved with him. They saved me much heartache. Not that the final D&D didn't hurt.. it did... but sex/dating, let alone marriage&kids, would've made it into a catastrophe. He *ENJOYED* embarrassing me in front of my friends... that's why my friends hated his guts. During the final D&D, he had me in tears in front of everyone, and he was smiling smugly. He'd complain to his students about me dating.. DURING CLASS. In class, he'd mock me when I was mourning my grandfather and sneer, saying that I was "going to a therapist to learn how to manage my feelings." He'd tell his male disciples how he wanted me to drop dead, and that if I was so sad, I should kill myself. He'd brag to his students ON CLASS TIME (I learned about it thru friends) that he had been lying to me about his European vacations. He'd accuse me of embarrassing myself. During the final D&D, he was intoxicated around students. He was drinking heavily. He had an off-campus class centered on... drinking wine. Somehow I went through the final D&D cold sober. He was incredibly judgmental. He HATED seeing people happy. Being a hypocrite, he didn't mind embarrassing me... but when the senior skit turned the tables and embarrassed him (don't worry, I told him HOW FUNNY the scene ridiculing him was)... he didn't like it. He fled from it. Embarrassing him was incredibly easy. Like stealing candy from a baby... and mentally, he was a baby.

Not a loud mouth but very judgemental everyone was a piece of shit. I often felt like he was parading me around. He was always holding my hand. Im married and we were in Public Places. Seemed dangerous to me but he always did it. I think it goes back to him thinking Im his property and that Im merely on loan to my husband. He would lean over the table and kiss me in public. To be fair though I was still so in love with him I loved it but at the time I thought why is he doing this in public? but it was like he wanted to people to notice that we were a couple

I'll never forget this one thing that happened, we went to this island off the coast one day in his plane and were sitting on the beach, he couldn't drink because we were flying back that evening, anyway I had three wine coolers while we were sitting in the sun, the waves were very high from a small hurricane that happened down the coast a few days before, but we went in the water there were a few kids body surfing, etc. we were standing about up to our necks and I hung onto him, now he is 6'4" and strong, he says "oh you are drowning me" now I'm 5'3" and maybe 120 lbs, I feel bad and let go, what happens next, I get taken away immediately by a wave into the shore, (under water) but the wave breaks and knocks me flat down, I have long hair and that gets filled with sand, I struggle to get up just as I gasp for air, another big wave comes and crashes over me, I go under again and brings me in closer to shore again I feel as if I'm drowning, my whole head and body under the current, again I get up and right away get knocked down again and further brought into shore, again not able to get air, I thought for sure I would drown, but then I get up and by now I'm about up to my knees standing, I stand stunned, my bathing suit top is moved my boobs are showing, he finally catches up to me and grabs me, but no thanks to him I almost drowned, so here is the best part, a few weeks later we are at a birthday party his neighbor, so the neighbor goes "oh I heard about you getting caught in the waves and losing your bathing suit top??" so my XN thought this was all a big joke and was telling his neighbor, he had a good laugh about it, I gave the neighbor a cold stare and then told my XN I didn't think that was funny at all on the way home. Yet another red flag I should not have ignored. I remember telling this to the therapist I saw when we broke up she said he should have described it as I had an accident and thank God I'm ok vs. how he did it. Anyway he's a creep.

I wish they had said these things when I was with him and they didn't. They wanted me to be "happy." Now I get: "You were too good for him." "I didn't want to say what I really thought of him when you were with him because I wanted you to be happy/didn't want to upset you." "Who did he think he was, coming in here and saying he was better than the rest of us? He is not better than anyone else!" "You are just you. We can't believe he was telling everyone (including strangers) that he wanted to buy you new breasts." "You were verbally and emotionally abused." "Remember all those things I told you about him? I thought you would be mad at me for that." "They are good friends with his ex-wife and they say it wasn't her, it was HIM that was the problem." (Thank goodness those friends are speaking out now.) What they say to me post-breakup: "You look so HAPPY!" "The color is back in your eyes." "You look different...you look younger." "Your hair looks great, so much bounce and color" (and I didn't color it or do anything different except dump the N). "This is how we like to see you." He often publicly humiliated me and was at least once reprimanded by someone we had just met. I often hung my head in embarrassment when we were out and he was talking. I am FREE!!! I am happy. He is not part of my life or pshyche anymore. I pray for him daily because that is all there is left to do for him. I am alive and happy!!!

Oh yes, xnh was a total loudmouth. His lips were flapping ALL of the time (he even talked in his sleep). To quote the movie Shrek about Donkey, "Sure he talks. It's getting him to shut up that's the trick." Xnh was obnoxious. Xnh was very judgmental, prejudiced, snobbish, and he disparaged everyone behind their backs (especially me). To this day I find it totally humiliating that I've heard from many, many people how he bad-mouthed me for years, aired our marital problems, and even discussed our sex life with co-workers both on the job and in the shuttle to one of our sites on a regular basis (we're still working at the same company). Whenever I talk to one of my co-workers now about work, or see an acquaintance around town, it's always in the back of my mind, "What has xnh blabbed to THIS person that was none of their business?". In addition to xnh's big, fat mouth, he let his children run wild in public wherever we went. I've walked out of stores and left all three of them numerous times because his children were running up and down the aisles screaming, and bashing into people with shopping carts. I remember walking into a Wal-mart one day with xnh to find two children running around crazily a few aisles down. Xnh says to me, "God, who's brats are those? Where are their parents?" Low and behold, they came around the corner and it was HIS children. Of course, he then ripped into his ex-wife. Never mind that he did the EXACT same thing whenever he had them. It was amazing to me that he was offended when his ex let his kids run around like a couple of barbarians, but it was somehow alright if HE did it. Not only was he a loudmouth, xnh was completely hypocrite. TLSM, you described it exactly right. Xnh was a FREAK.

Oh boy yes. BOTH of my exes were loudmouths and obnoxiuos. Very embarrassing. My first one....told a sex joke using the word "p*ssy" (sorry) in front of my mom and GRANDMOTHER. That's one example. My last ex.....at a thai boxing event yelled out really loud about one of the fighters having "slanted eyes". I wasn't at that event, Thank God, but he was braggin about it to me and laughing that the people he was with were embarrassed. And groping me in public...yup. Yet, one time I sat beside him at a restaurant instead of across from him and he asked me to move, then lectured me on "boundaries". "FREAKS" is right.