The Whoosh!

Good Morning! Yesterday started out as"one of those days". I was just feeling sad and I missed him. While in the shower trying to figure out why I was so sad..I burst in to tears. It seems that he has ESP..he called. I tried so hard not to pick it up..but I did. When I heard his voice I felt (confession) sort of happy to hear from him. They know our tones and it may be difficult to hide our "tones" while speaking on the phone. About 30 seconds in to the conversation he asked "babe whats wrong"..that did it..I burst in to tears! I COULD NOT let him know it was because i missed him and made something up. He sounded so concerned and asked me "is that really the reason your crying". I could not let him know the truth ,it would let him know and give him power and my gut quickly caught me. I got the"I'll call you back later and I want to make sure everything is ok"...thank God he never called back!
Later in the evening I was reflecting and realized he NEVER GAVE A CR*P about me,my life,my feeling etc. I had a moment of weakness and answered a call and for some reason the whole incident brought my emotions of hurt,anger,fear and grief into check. Over 2 years time if I didnt answer him he would call me back until I did..I am finding it hard to find the words to the feeling I had lastnight..All I can say is..Now I have PEACE! The slight disbelief that this all really happened is gone and the true blinders are off! He is an A$$H*LE that will never change.
HAPPY HAPPY DAY TO ALL..Do something nice for yourself today,something you like. the freedom of going to the grocery store and not have to worry you bought the wrong thing..it was actually something you wanted and not something that the N wanted.
I hope this makes sense..lol I'm not angry this morning..I have a feeling of peace.