Where does it end?

I guess I should be happy and vindicated but I am just dazed. I got a call from the infamous "Sandy" that the foster child always talked about and that the narc told me I would meet some day-she was "an old friend." They have been together for twenty years. twenty flipping years.

I guess I called her last month while I was dialing everyone in his phone that night, but she never called back until now.

So this is long term, committed relationship number two--besides me. Twenty freaking years! I told her all the details and she totally didn't believe any of the abuse. I gave her the phone numbers of the other women and the police report number from when he beat me up.

I can just picture them talking right now and him glossing it over and saying I'm insane.

We're just wrapping presents for my daughters teachers and I'm pretending it never happened.


Susan32's picture

When Leo Tolstoy died, the letter that could only be opened once he died was incredibly nasty, blaming Sofia for his abuse. Blame-shifting, even in death. Of course, she went to his grave daily apologizing. He never really takes responsibility for his actions (except the sexual debauchery), calls Sofia an angel... after being incredibly callous and cruel. Spalding Gray's widow, Kathleen Russo, found out that he had considered himself bisexual and was in porn movies... 4 years after he died and she was producing a documentary on him. She's having a difficult time with this, especially when it comes to telling her sons she had with Gray.
Happy1's picture

I feel for you! Our N's are so very similar. I can easily see mine having the same situation. I know he keeps in contact with ex girlfriends and every single time we've broken up he's contacted the one especially and continued talking and who knows what else when we were together. They need supply from more than one I guess. I just don't get it either and it is almost laughable...because that's better than crying and realizing what the heck we were in. We are so much better off and feel sorry for that 20+year lady. She has no clue!
helldweller's picture

to the point where it's just so ridiculous I don't even care anymore. Seriously, it's like being upset about Mickey Mouse not loving you, except to say that would be an insult to Mickey Mouse, who obviously loved Minnie. Let me rephrase: it's like being upset that Pepe Le Piew doesn't love me. I mean, what the hell? It's so freaking twisted, so bizarre. He's had another girlfriend for twenty years! TWENTY YEARS! AND me for four and another for three and his text sex phone sex e-sex broads as well AND his ex-fiancee who send him cookies every month. What possible satisfaction could he get from any of this? I am feeling just a bit of smugness tonight because, even though I'm sure it's not all of them, I revelaed his shit to at least four of his "one and only"s And even if they stay with or come back to him, their adoration and trust will never be the same. Merry F* in Christmas.
MsVulcan500's picture

You are the lucky one! If they are in denial, or they don't believe at all, then they are still entrenched in it. You are out, you are rebuilding your life, and they are stuck with a lying cheating abusive narc, and you are not!!
gettinbetter's picture

Well helldweller all I can say is if he is such a saint in her eyes then why is she calling you? She is in some serious denial. Can't say I blame her to have stuck around twenty years you would have to be to cope. Trust me she knows the truth deep down or she wouldn't have called you
desprathousewife's picture

Your narc is some specimin :( How much more pain can he put you through? I thought my guy was bad, but yours takes the biscuit. What I will say though is how much I admire you, the strength that has immerged in you of late. The way you take all this new information that gets thrown at you. You will be a formiddable lady when this is all done that's for sure. You are already! I've no advise here, just admiration for your strength and dignity. You lady are a true inspiration. Hang on in there xx