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When they call other people narcissists...

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#1 Jun 28 - 8PM
Amy
Amy's picture

When they call other people narcissists...

So the first time we had a major breakup, I went to therapy and the therapist said he is definitely a narcissist. Same with the 2nd one I went to after the next big breakup. I told him this each time we got back together.

He looked it up and only focused on the "need for attention". He vehemently denies that he is a narcissist. It came up again recently.

The nice guy I dated 8 months after I broke up with him is Cuban and kind of flashy - ok VERY flashy! LOL! He wears lots of jewelry, wears all the trendiest clothes, drives a red Ferrari and a Rolls, has quite the watch collection, etc.... I thought it was all cute - I liked the man, not his stuff. To me the flashiness was part of his Latin background and his love for life.

My absent fiance N said "SEE, now you know what a REAL narcissist is like. He needs all that attention, I don't." I told him all of us have some narcissistic tendencies, but that alone doesn't make him a narcissist. AND I told him, he treated me like gold- was never mean to me, said a cross word to me or ANYTHING. He insists that nice guy is a narcissist anyway.

He also started telling me that *I* am selfish and that I like to argue. I think the difference was that I was calling him on his BS and after a year apart, I had started sticking up for myself. I think that's part of why he disappeared - I didn't let him get away with his crap anymore.

Has anyone else experienced ther N calling other people narcissists?

Jun 29 - 7PM
Hangman11
Hangman11's picture

He would say his "brother"

He would say his "brother" was Narcissistic, (which I sincerely doubt, having met him), yet a$$hole would say there is absolutely NO WAY that he himself was an N. Then much later he tried to flip it and say "I" was the one who had the NPD, not him!!! Yeah, right...my STBNXH is a "classic narc" and they ALL try to blame everyone one else, when THEY are THE PROBLEM!!! Hang in there AMY, these jerks are devoid of feelings and I didn't let mine get away with it either, hence, he took off back where his lying a$$ came from and I am getting better as a result.
Jun 29 - 9PM (Reply to #5)
Amy
Amy's picture

I think....

I think I changed so much over the last year without him that I just wouldn't let him get away with the old BS. He even said at one point "I think you met and experienced different people, and maybe you just don't love me as much as you used to." I told him I became more independent, and that I didn't have time for games!
Jun 29 - 11AM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

He called me a narcissist

My ex-P (as in psychopath) would call me a narcissist in class discussions if I defended my ideas. He'd accuse me of being crazy, etc. He'd snap "You're such a narcissist." He was always out to make me look like the selfish one.
Jun 28 - 9PM
NancyM
NancyM's picture

Hang em High

Ns recognize themselves in others and if they know of something happening to someone else, ie a gF has been abused/beaten by a BF, you can be sure your N will scream the loudest in indignation and horror. If you were to point out their hypocrisy, you are likely to hear "oh but you deserved it". But I now know that if a guy is screaming "hang em high" the loudest, he is hiding in plain sight. It reminds me of the shakesperean quote "methinks ye doth protest too much" And the rest of it is projection of themselves onto others.

Nevergoback

Jun 28 - 9PM (Reply to #2)
Amy
Amy's picture

projection

For sure mine projects. Telling me I was selfish and like to argue had my friends laughing pretty hard. They know I am the polar opposite of those 2 descriptions! The whole thing is just so creepy!