When N grows old

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#1 Sep 25 - 5AM
Sea
Sea's picture

When N grows old

What will happen to them? If they have no kids, never been married. If he has kids there are still hope that someone would pay them some attention. When they are so old that they dont attract woman anymore, no real friends, his beloved mum would have expired by then, he would have retired and no chance to cling onto limelight in career. I am just curious what will become of them?

Sep 25 - 11AM
Layla
Layla's picture

I don't care what happens to him.

I won't be around him, and I don't give a crap. I really mean that. I know where I WILL BE though! God willing I will live long enough to enjoy my grandchildren and great-grandchildren...surrounded by love and family and PEACE. love~ Layla
Sep 25 - 11AM
tresor2
tresor2's picture

Article on Old N's

http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1396:the-narcissist-as-an-old-person&catid=99:narcissistic-personality&Itemid=2113 Article on old N's...I posted it on another recent thread as well...
Sep 25 - 11AM (Reply to #15)
Sea
Sea's picture

Thanks for posting the link.

Thanks for posting the link. Sam gave hope that there is a chance N accepts aging n got cured miraculously. I havent seen a single person posting that some N was all ok when he/she ages. All was about how horrible they became. Many have posted abt N parents. None has got better. I reckon the chances are so so remote they almost never make it.
Sep 25 - 9AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

They will die lonely bitter

They will die lonely bitter people! What will become of them, personally I don't care! Hunter
Sep 25 - 8AM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

If they have kids or not....

I think it really doesn't matter...my ex N has 3 teenagers (16 ,17,18) that he only sees 15 minutes a week when he brings child support...In 2008 his older daughter went to the Police and filled an official complaint against him...She and the other children were taken away by child services and were only alloud to get back home after the judge decided that he had to leave home so the kids could be given back to their mother...it was and is heartbreking...and you know what?after all of that he blamed his daughter for enticing him....no, i think mine will die alone,i do not think his children will ever forget this...and so do i.Bastards.

Aceonelady

Sep 25 - 10AM (Reply to #12)
Sea
Sea's picture

This is true, many nasty old

This is true, many nasty old man in the conmunity program i volunteer in have kids but all have abandoned them. I think they have done alot of hurt on their kids that they no longer acknowledge them. It is still sad, have kids but too late to rekindle the relationships with them.
Sep 25 - 8AM
ordinarycourage
ordinarycourage's picture

Dying Alone

I try not to think about how my exN will act when he's old and infirm. He will probably make our daughters miserable and try to make them feel guilty to boot. His 8 years younger OW will be there stroking his brow, hopefully, telling him how great he was.
Sep 25 - 8AM
Sea
Sea's picture

It actually pains me to know

It actually pains me to know his ending would be so sad. Somehow i wish he can have a better ending (but not with me, never). I volunteer at a community program where we look after lonely aged living alone. Some old man i believe are N. They are so nasty n never thank anyone for any services. I do it wholehearted with or without thanks cos i felt very sorry for them. I never know why they have no appreciation n scream whenever they are displeased. After my encounter with my exN, i begin to see my exN like that when he is old. The ill health and loneliness is so sad. I felt compassion for them, not for the cruel things they do but for the sorry end stage.
Sep 25 - 8AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

They die. Crippled and

They die. Crippled and alone. They are their own worst enemy. They will have no one there when they take their final breath. As it should be.
Sep 25 - 8AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

Sea

there is a recent thread on here or the other stage with replies about that very comment, mine is late 60's, all by himself, hermit in a small town, knows no one real well, bitter and angry I imagine with ED problems to boot.
Sep 25 - 10AM (Reply to #7)
Sea
Sea's picture

OWML

I think our N are v similar. Mine is rootless, in his life he moves from country to country n his nationality is strange to him too cos he moved to that country only at late teens. His birth country is also strange to him. He has no perm address just a rental place. His only stability is fr his long successful career that brings him to places. Never married no kids. I wonder where he will go when he retires? Go back home country? His mum would have expired, there's nothing left there for him. He wont have visa to stay on here as well. My N might be like yours go to a place where no one knows him. I wonder how did your N survive without NS?
Sep 25 - 5AM
dulcinea441
dulcinea441's picture

I don't know. I read

I don't know. I read somewhere that their behavior often worsens with age. Maybe when abundant sources of supply begin to dwindle they become even more desperate, controlling and cruel. All I know is I don't want to be around to find out!
Sep 25 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
w.darling
w.darling's picture

on "with age"

Seasoned and marinated. It is sad to have to admit and face the facts, but trutgh is, with age my guy seems to have championed! From what I've seen in years 15-18, as he ails with age, in the non-acceptance, he has expected FAR more attention from myself and others. He has been jealous and terribly unkind to my 2 young grand-babies. He wants FAR more control around everything. The toys get bigger and more expensive. The obsession with pretty for him and in everyone around him, is nearly unbelievable to see with the construction worker I married. His expectations of me to passively submit to his whims and a FAR worse life than I was told in his reel-speal, this would be, is bizarre. He is cold, cruel, callous and calculating. He has terrified, tortured, tormented and traumatized me. Unempathic traits have become like that of the wildest forces of nature. I nearly literally died trying to make this work, especially in the past 3 years. When I saw him mistreat my beautiful grand-daughter, "Holy mother of God", I had to see the light. Dulcinea441, has a bulls-eye in her last sentence. I am working my way out, then he cries, pleads and he nearly dies. I know his history and how this pathology came to be. I am over-come with empathy and compassion for his pain and kinder side, then wonder if I work on myself more and on the how to live with him, if we can make it after-all. ***CRazy!?*!?*** What a tornado this is.
Sep 25 - 11AM (Reply to #5)
w.darling
w.darling's picture

?

I'm new to this blog and trying to learn how to navigate. Someone wrote on my comment, and i rec'd email, "has he tried NS?" What is this? Thanks everyone for this site and your insights!
Sep 25 - 10AM (Reply to #3)
Sea
Sea's picture

OMG my heart goes out to u.

OMG my heart goes out to u. He sounded insane. I'm so sorry that he put u n family on that insane rollercoaster. Is there a way to get away from him?
Sep 25 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
w.darling
w.darling's picture

Dear Sea

I am TRYING! Thank you for your kind thoughts and words:)