When do you finally reach acceptance?

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outoftheashes
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When do you finally reach acceptance?

At almost 8 months NC, I am struggling with letting myself accept without a doubt that this man is a N. I feel like this is a hurdle my mind is trying to overcome at this point.

I blame myself for not seeing him for who he truly is during the many years we were friends. I have worked hard my entire life, and it feels like admitting defeat.

I am working on writing my story to share but find myself getting overwhelmed. I want to finish it and let it be the last time I ruminate to such an extent on these events in my life.

I feel like I'm trying to give myself permission to let go. I waited so many times for him to do/say the right thing and nothing. My therapist calls it "toxic hope." It's like a bad dream that really is true.

I would appreciate any advice or if anyone has felt the same at some point. All of you on here are great and such a support to me! Thank you so much!

Pumpkin
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I reached acceptance

Pumpkin

ziggy
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pet semetary
ZanShin
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Amazing responses to THE sticking point
fefe65
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LOL Rock my world ' LOL I am
boubou29
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Fefe, you made me cry. I find
Trixy
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OOTA this has been a very emotional read
Janie53
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outoftheashes
thenewjane
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I loved Goldie's response to this!
lessonlearned
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i can't tell you "when"
Janie53
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LL
fefe65
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outof the ashes
Goldie
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That's like
outoftheashes
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Thanks Goldie
Luckyescape
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Rock my world