At almost 8 months NC, I am struggling with letting myself accept without a doubt that this man is a N. I feel like this is a hurdle my mind is trying to overcome at this point.
I blame myself for not seeing him for who he truly is during the many years we were friends. I have worked hard my entire life, and it feels like admitting defeat.
I am working on writing my story to share but find myself getting overwhelmed. I want to finish it and let it be the last time I ruminate to such an extent on these events in my life.
I feel like I'm trying to give myself permission to let go. I waited so many times for him to do/say the right thing and nothing. My therapist calls it "toxic hope." It's like a bad dream that really is true.
I would appreciate any advice or if anyone has felt the same at some point. All of you on here are great and such a support to me! Thank you so much!