It does happen to me right now. Day after day I feel more and more in peace. And I accept fully everything that did happen to me.
I don't feel the pain anymore. It feels like I am over. Not fully happy and free, but much more in peace. This forum does help a lot. Not resisting helps too.
I can say what my turning point was. It was bringing the focus on me. Starting from this point I really felt him leaving my "space".
I think you are right, acceptance is essential to the healing. If you cannot accept, maybe it will be useful to investigate why?
Love
Winter
I'm very focused on myself with regards to my healing. But these "doubts" remain. Why they do, remains to be seen, but because I'm one who likes answers, if for nothing more than for myself to gain and find wisdom and acceptance, I will pray, read, search, read some more, try to help others, try to gain more insight, allow the flashbacks to teach me...it's interesting that it just sort of flows now.
I'm ok with the reality that it will take more time to accept this.
HUGS
seeing him grinning like a fool showing off his new prize - a sleazy bar hoe! we had not officially ended it (because he refused to speak and went silent after he moved away) but he texted me the day before he posted pic - she was so cheap looking and fake it just all started to make sense - his low self esteem and obsession with image - being able to go silent on a 10 year relationship and party into the night!
He was VERY upset when he figured out that he had made those pics public - he flunked Players rules 101 I guess - "do not flash your hoes on FB before you break up with GF". He was so ashamed he could barely speak months later but because I did not bust him about it (why bother) he recovered enough to hoover again 2 months later and just said he has no GF - this I do believe! he probably tossed the poor lady to the dogs by now - prop well used as he is trying to regain his old fame...
A few months after she met him she chopped her big nose off and turned her 80's style bleached blonde hair to my exact color of brown and toned done the teased stuff - he probably made her feel not good enough...awful as this experience has been, it is such a blessing to no longer be blind to reality! thank god! so at that moment, I got it, that he is an empty shell and nothing means anything to him except false image...no human behind that grin - he was really pathetic to me, though i went into shock for awhile...
oops that was the beginning of my recovery not turning
point - turning point was after the hoover this summer - he seemed still "in love" with me but so lost - he quickly went silent again and I really get that this is a permanent disorder. I do not hat my exN but scared of my vulnerability to his problems and get that they will destroy me - can't handle another round with him but really not at all recovered yet...I am still devastated but dealing ok, not great, but doing best I can
Nothing - I haven't yet. Sometimes .. sometimes I feel like I have, but I know that if I had, I wouldn't be constantly search for more "evidence" that he's disordered, looking for something to *prove* to me that there's nothing I could have done.
Intellectually - I know he's disordered and nothing I did drove him away and nothing I could have done would make him stay.
My heart, though, isn't there yet.
Sunny, i will PM some details to you in a while.
But it will take some time for me to write ..right now my head is spinning in confused manner..i am desperately fighting for survival here.
cannot even just LEAVE and go NC. too many loose ends.. no string to tie them up.
Sun
Winter
FB pic
oops that was the beginning of my recovery not turning
Nothing - I haven't yet.
sun, i will pm you