What is WRONG with me??!?

My narc/husband has made me miserable. He has neglected me, abused me emotionally, and I've spent 8 years crying over our marriage. I've had many sleepless nights, body pains, aches,weight gain, etc. Despite all this, I still feel sorry for HIM! Why? Look at what he has done, he never truly owns the fact he has caused such pain. And yet, when I'm trying to take care of myself, thoughts of him creep into my mind. I'm getting ready to leave and I feel guilty! Oh poor him he's a wounded puppy crap. Who's going to take care of him, he won't last 4 minutes without me. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just focus on myself and my needs? He is bad for me, I know this. So why can't I accept that and not give a rats eye what happens to him?