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What Would You Do?

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#1 Nov 28 - 8PM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

What Would You Do?

Today I got down my Christmas stuff for the season. I put up a little "Charley Brown Christmas Tree" that I bought this year. I'm sure you all know the kind of tree...it has about one branch, holds about one ornament, and uses about two light bulbs. lol. I simply didn't want to use the huge tree that we'd had for years. I, also, didn't want to think about the memories with xnh and his kids. For me, buying this little tree was my way of "starting fresh". I'm doing Christmas MY way this year. :)

Last year, xnh pretty much drove me out of my own home on Christmas day by insisting his P daughter be in our house without my agreement. Basically, xnh told me she was coming, and if I didn't like it I could shove it up my a$$ and go away. To quote xnh, "He would take TEN of his P daughter over ONE of me any day." Yep, I should have definitely listened to THAT red flag. I'd thrown his P daughter out of the house over a year before because she was doing drugs, and I had also ended any relationship with her at that time. Last Christmas, I went to my parents house without xnh or his kids, and I, also, swore never again would I be shunned from my own home (and yes, I own it solely NOT xnh). It was NOT one of my favorite Christmases.

Today went really well for me. I was actually very contented and at peace. It was a happy day. For a change, I got to decorate my tree with my own favorite ornaments instead of everything being decorated in "early Disney" like usual. Narc xmil slathered xnh, and both of his kids, with ornaments SHE liked (Disney). Just FYI, his kids are almost 18 and 21 years old. It's NOT like they're really into Mickey Mouse. Goth whore and iPhones are more like it. lol.

As I was unpacking Christmas ornaments, I found an old Barbie ornament that belongs to xnh's hideous P daughter, and a CD of photos from one of xnh's family 4th of July picnics. My quandry is "Do I return this stuff or do I just...not?" I guess my desire to be "nice" is fighting with NOT wanting to break NC is any form. If I return it, xnh is highly likely to take it as an invitation to contact me using the disguise of saying "thanks". I've just gotten him to point where he won't even speak to me, and I LIKE it that way. So my question to you guys is "What would you do?"

Nov 29 - 5AM
Used
Used's picture

mystery woman

throw them in the trash, as you have done to father and daughter, they cant be important to n or pd or they would have asked for them... these things are as out of thier mind as they FRIGGEN are. to even think you had to be out of your house last christmas makes me want to vomit.. dont even think of giving this pair of shits a second thought let alone articles. you just go ahead with what you were doing. OUT OF YOUR OWN HOME. I CANT BELIEVE IT, yet i can, i look back with exh and think what the fuck was i doing?. then i think WELL I AM NOT DOING ITNOW< AND THATS THE IMPORTANT THING.... we are not doing it now, going against our principles and ethics...and we wont ever again....
Nov 28 - 10PM
Ava
Ava's picture

Hiya mystwoman - in my opinion, I'd get rid of both items

As you say, if you return them xnh will probably view that as an invitation. And you don't want to invite that guy to do anything but show himself up his own ass. But rather than putting them in storage, I'd throw both the stupid ornament & the CD in the trash. As you say, neither are valuable or are likely to be missed, and even if they are - too f##king bad I say. If he or hideous daughter wanted either of these then they shouldn't have left them in YOUR house. No responsibility for you to bother with returning & NO guilt! And I think its important for you to get rid of these items. They hold awful crap memories that you don't want to keep being reminded of & if you put them in storage you'll find them again someday & have to be reminded all over again. And I think in some ways these things carry vibes - even if you're not thinking about them, these poisonous little reminders will be somewhere in storage, festering & contaminating the atmosphere & your other belongings! Also I think it'd be a great symbolic gesture for yourself - you're not hanging on to his [or her] crap anymore, you're throwing it in the trash and making room for you new Christmas that involves all the decorations YOU like. And I think it'll feel good! I'm now getting in the habit of throwing all bad reminders of my exN I'm finding & it may sound weird but each time I open that bin & pop something in, I feel like a weight has lifted from my heart & shoulders. Ava xx

Ava

Nov 28 - 8PM
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Mystwoman,

I vote no!!! I wouldn't destroy them or dispose of them, but I would stick them back in the attic or wherever you keep your decorations and forget about them. If they ask for them, then you can send them.
Nov 28 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Thanks, MsVulcan. That's

Thanks, MsVulcan. That's kind of the direction I'm leaning. I really want NC with both xnh and his P daughter. I'm SO much happier without either of them in my life. ANY form of contact seems to set xnh off. If he sees me in the hall at work on the way to the bathroom, he'll try smiling at me or some other form of contact. I ignore him completely. I'd prefer xnh would just remain in his twisted little fantasy world and pretend I don't exist. :)

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Nov 28 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

I had something of my XN's,

I had something of my XN's, but it was an expensive item that I didn't want to be responsible for. I stuck it in my basement in a garbage bag, then after a few months sent it via UPS to his home. No note, no nothing. Paid $25 to have it shipped 4 miles. Well worth it! If the item wasn't valuable, I may very well still have it in my basement in the garbage bag. Who knows.
Nov 28 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

I'm not convinced that

I'm not convinced that either one of these items will be missed. Xnh is just about as unsentimental as anyone can get. Right after the divorce, I posted all of the digital family photos at a site where he had access, so that he could download and burn them onto CD's...starting with our wedding photos (I thought it was really a "nice" place to start. lol). Four months later, I figured that he'd had plenty of time to get his pictures, so I changed the password. He's never even asked about it, and from what a mutual friend told me, xnh never tried to get the pictures either. As for the P daughter, she's as bad as xnh. She has absolutely no sentimentality, and no respect for property either. When she was in high school, she was such a swine about refusing to pick up her own things that I started just quietly putting them into a box so she couldn't find them again. Then I waited to see how long it took for her to miss her stuff. I eventually had a completely full foot locker of her junk that she'd left laying around the house. She never did miss any of it. Her sister ratted me out when I loaded the foot locker into the truck heading for the dump. None of it was actually important enough to xnh's P daughter to put it away, but of COURSE, she threw a screaming fit when her sister TOLD her. You'd have thought everything I had in the foot locker was a priceless family heirloom, and not just tons of shoes, etc. that she'd left around for the dogs to chew up. rofl. After thinking about what you've said, and how xnh and his P daughter have treated me in the past. I'm staying NC. You are correct. I'll put the items into storage for now, and forget about them.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.