What will ignoring the N do?

It doesn't matter what happens. You are having no contact with him for you not him. I wouldn't worry. Just move forward. If he harasses you tell your boss. It is only 40 hours of hell if you allow it.

I went into a teacher education program. It was my way of moving on. He had done my letter of recommendation BEFORE I went NC, however. A few weeks into the program, I got booted out for being "dangerous to children",despite the fact that I had volunteered for TWO YEARS at a local elementary school without incident. Honestly, I think that was his pathetic way of getting attention. I remained NC. If I had stayed in the same city (or even the same state),I'm sure he would've tried hoovering me. He acted romantically interested in me AFTER I met his girlfriend... so he saw me as backup supply. So I left town without telling him. Months after my graduation, that December, I sent thank-you notes in time for Christmas (before Christmas break) to ALL of my former professors... except him. Told them how inspiring and wonderful they were, how they inspired my journey, how I was enjoying the Pacific Northwest. Yes, it was juvenile for me to act as if he didn't exist. But that's how I got my kicks. Everybody else got thank-you's except him. Yes, I did it to make him jealous and to hurt him. Because I gave him NOTHING.

I've done this before. I tried the whole ignoring at work plan with a happy face; conveying that life is great, if not better, without the N in my life anymore. One day it finally broke. I was approached eventually with a sad N as it killed him to see me "moving on just fine without him". I told him it was much peaceful without his emotional abuse and the freedom to do whatever I please. He also has gotten very angry and abusive from being ignored too long. A lot of his supply moved on as they were done with being debated and invalidated when told that their beliefs, opinions or feelings were WRONG in his eyes. So I seriously believe it could go either way, depending on the N's mood. And as we all know that mood changes at the drop of a hat.

Ugh, that sounds horrid!! What do I think will happen? To you or to her or both lol? I think she will at one point in the future pretend like nothing at all happened. You'll be eating your lunch and she'll appear and speak to you as if you'd been on great terms forever. For you, I think your silence will give you space to realize what an absolute biatch she is and good riddance. Well, that's what I sincerely hope for you :) She hopes you will suffer the awkwardness and pain of the silent treatment. Don't give erm that pleasure. Smile and laugh on purpose. Make sure you have a pleasant, satisfied look on your face. Yeah, it's an act but when you act a certain way, your feelings sort of catch on and follow a bit. You don't need a creep like this yanking your chain. You deserve respect, period. Who does this idiot think she is? Your personal disciplinarian?? What gall. F her, you aren't her punching bag.

I'm in the boat with you. I don't work with mine but we live on the same block, two houses apart, so I see him all the time. Last night was the very last straw. I've been to hell and back a thousand times with him and killed myself and my family trying to please him, including accepting it when he decided he didn't want to get married after all, didn't want to have children, and didn't even want to take me around his family friends or even out on dates anymore. Yesterday he told me he spends time with his female friends and not me because "they don't do your drama." He said he was going to dinner with one of them but would be "over later, wink wink." This morning I woke up and opened up a book I found a few weeks ago called "My Utmost for His Highest." It's a daily Christian reader. I don't know what religion if any you are, and I must admit that God's plans for me have held few charms during this ordeal, but I read this: "Wanting to make sure that my adversary gives me all my rights is a natural thing. But the Lord says that it is a matter of inescapable and eternal importance to me that I pay my adversary what I owe him, . . . whether I am cheated or not. Do it quickly--bring yourself to judgment now. The fact that we insist on proving that we are right is almost always a clear indication that we have some point of disobedience to God. . . . Be reconciled to (the object of your anger)--do it now!" So I did. I got up and wrote the N a note, which I've only done once before, so he knew it was not one of our twice a day breakups. I said, "I'm sorry it came to this. You and I should have parted long ago, and I won't spend one more moment blaming you for staying. I should have left long ago. I knew better, but perhaps you didn't. I'm not me anymore, and perhaps you aren't you either. Or perhaps you are. Whether or not good has come from our meeting, who can tell? Better times ahead for sure, though I'm truly sorry for poor judgement in staying so long. Go and be happy, as I hope you already are. I loved you well and will pray for you as I hope you pray for me." I know I gave him too much credit and myself to little in this note, but I believe that, with no contact, this note will make ME freer than he will ever be. He walked by my this morning with his foster child and did not even say hello, and again just a few minutes ago when he came home from work. I was digging in the front garden with a huge spade and he knows my shoulder is hurt from the brawl we had last month, but he did not even pause to say hello let alone offer assistance. I know he is expecting me to crawl back as always, just so it's not over forever, but it IS over forever. My peace, I realized, has to be with me and with God. He drove me to a place where I didn't care about either of those things. He was pissed at me yesterday because my ten year old daughter walked in on us having sex st time he was over and told him to leave because he doesn't love me. The next day, he asked to come over again. I said, this can't happen again. You have to talk to her and win HER back before we are ever together. He laughed and said, "Oh, please, honey. ME talk to the little drama queen? She needs to grow up." I found myself trying to figure out a way to see him anyway, without my daughter finding out. I thought, I'm as sick as he is. Wake UP!

I agree with everyone here. Go about your day, unphased and happy. This will drive her crazy. Not that your goal is to do that or anything, but show her you can move on without her. She doesn't deserve you!

What will happen? She will either not care and carry on. Or she will kiss your ass to soften you up, then treat you like crap again. One thing that will FOR SURE happen, regardless of what she does, is YOU will feel better. Taking back your dignity and self respect:) Good for you!

professional,nothing personal, be urself and just stick to business so it does not affect ur job!! U dont have to ignor her 2 b indifferent!!

I think you should go about your day, happy as can be (even if you have to fake it), be polite to her, and seem like there's something wonderful going on in your life. In other words, don't be rude, don't be overly friendly, and be happy. It'll drive her bonkers. But don't let that affect you in any way.

read what has happened to me in the last few days. She will try to lure you back in, but not because she cares about you (sorry). It will be because she can't stand the thought of you ignoring her and she must be loved by everyone. But she will not apologize or change. She will get mad and go through cycles of being mad at you for ignoring the mighty her and trying to lure you again. So keep ignoring. Don't apologize, because you have already tried to fix things and live your life!

BUT... Your N will demand attention in some form. They typically can't stand it when you don't grovel and beg them to forgive you. I have been dealing with that for a week - mine is punishing my by giving me the silent treatment now. I would usually apologize and reach out, but I refuse this time. I am DONE!