What might you do, here?

14 posts / 0 new

#1 Apr 13 - 8PM

Deidre40

What might you do, here?

When you think things can't get any worse. So, I decided to activate my FB a moment ago. I know. Why did I do this. Supposedly, my friend said you can't see much on his page. He has it locked/private. I was not so much interested in his page...I was curious to see hers. Some of you got me thinking about why would a good friend stay on this jerk's friend's list, after what he put me through? I just wanted to see if I could get any clues at all...to anything.

While I was on FB, I looked at his page. Not much there...status, his pic, and a few quotes. Ok. Flip over to her page. I'm about to cry. She has the exact same quotes! Not all that he has listed, but 3 out of the 5 that he has, were listed on her quotes. These are not common quotes, either.

I almost threw up. :=(

And he has on his page...you reap what you sow. How fitting.

She didn't have that quote, but she had other quotes...IDENTICAL to his. No way this is a coincidence. She copied his quotes. She has always prided herself, come to think of it, that she is his 'evil twin.' But, I always laughed that off.

Why would you have the same quotes as this maniac on your FB page, unless you admire him in some way?

I am very angry and hurt. She must be laughing at me as I tell her these stories. All the while she admires this jerk. You don't copy someone you don't admire.

My question is this...I'm not going to address this, because she will ask why I activated my FB account. It's one thing if I had this active all this time, and was on her friends list. So...I was thinking NC. Going off the website we ALL belong to. Yes, she belongs there, too. And just never looking back. At him or her.

Or am I over reacting? I can't explain the horrible feeling I just felt seeing the same quotes on both their pages. :=(

THIS IS WHY FB IS SO EVIL!!!! I haven't activated my account in a long while, and when I do...I find bad stuff, you guys. Ugh.

I must sound so whiny today, but this really threw me. I'm praying tomorrow is better.

#2 Apr 14 - 8AM

Deidre40

The world is very round

In other words....karma is a ??? lol I'm not for people getting theirs. That's not me. I feel bad, even if a friend hurts me, when they get hurt. So, she writes me this morning. Let me share something recently that happened. She met someone off of that exercise site...and was dating him. Sleeping with him, for a little while. She was falling for him. Well...apparently this man, gets around. He slept with someone else off the site that he met, while he was seeing her. Guess we both attract narcs. Anywho. She breaks it off with him. She is seeing another man now, and things are looking good for her. She is in love. BUT. Her and the first guy, saw each other this past weekend...just as friends, as part of a group. Well, guess who is getting private messages from him now? Me. Yes, you guessed it. I don't know this guy really at all, except what she has told me about him from dating him...and he and i have chatted in some threads. He knows I'm friends with her in real life, however...as she has told him so. So...he asks me how I've been like out of the clear blue sky in a pm. He knows I ended things with the guy I was seeing...remember, the exN is on the same site, too. So, you could say, there's a circle of online friends who know the guy I was dating, and offline, who know him more personally, and have him on FB. So, I reply to him--he's asking how I've been. So, out of love for my friend...I tell her this. She says...read me what he wrote to you...so, I did...verbatim. He calls her this morning, and asks her...''have you heard from Dee?'' She says...I talk to her all the time, why? Have you talked to her? He tells her 'no.' ha! I'm a narc magnet. Anywho...she is pretty upset with the guy. How weird is this??? I told her the following...and hopefully, it INDIRECTLY resonates...''I love you, you are my friend. No man will come above us or between us. I won't speak to him anymore....I have no interest, and even if I did...out of caring for you, I wouldn't hurt you.'' She didn't reply. I am still thinking of going NC...gradually lessening my texts...I dunno. I really care for her, it troubles me to let her go. I'm hopeful, that by saying that above, and her getting a taste of her own medicine by a guy she liked and slept with at one point, will cause her to pause a bit.Is this too cosmic or what?? lol Truth is stranger than fiction I tell ya. Oh...I heard from my ex this morning. He told me never to text him again...he's done with my lying ass! haha oh brother. What did I lie about again? hahaha! I'm doing better today, everyone. Much. Prayed a lot. No tears today. Today, is going to be a good day. I'll make it so!

#3 Apr 14 - 11AM (Reply to #12)

michele115 (not verified)

Diedre

You sound much better today...and I want to encourage you to keep NC... That means detaching yourself from ALL outlets and people that might cause you to directly or indirectly connect to him. I wish you could figure out how to block his texts and emails... Hugs!

#4 Apr 14 - 11AM (Reply to #13)

Deidre40

michele

I honestly think he's done michele. I don't know why, but I do. I AM much better...praise be to God. I realized in all of this, the depth of my sin with this man. I think I focused too much on the failure of the relationship, rather than how drenched in sin my soul had become. I became a shell of my former self to please this insatiable man. I will never ever let this happen again. The good news is this. The guy who is writing to me now? Clearly, a narc. I told my friend this, too. To stay away from him. If he lies about innocuous things now? He will continue. I warned her. Why do I say good news? Because I can spot a narc now. FINALLY. I can spot him. :) But, I'm done replying to him. Thank you for your support as always! I pray I stay strong...and don't cry like yesterday...wow, that was out of hand.

#5 Apr 14 - 6AM

Used

deidre40

i am glad you activated your facebook, something was telling you all was not as it seemed, it doesnt even matter who quoted first it is the fact she underplayed her role in it, yesterday i wrote saying mynwf, wouldnt stop talking about narc even when i pleaded with her she would still bring him up, why? b/c she liked him, for all her advice to me, dont talk to him, dont look at him, just ignore him, she didnt want me near him for her own agenda not mine, i have been nc with her for 9mnths, and i have found out that she has been speaking to him. she has approached me 5times to try and speak, i just look at here or walk away, i have found, when someone speaks and it seems to come out of left field they have an agenda, it is not about helping you it is about helping themselves, i also believe she your friend has talked to him on the phone, she is horrible, when someone talks about someone incessantly ,THEY LIKE THEM. who talks about someone if they are of no interest to them. good luck.

#6 Apr 13 - 9PM

michele115 (not verified)

Diedre....

For the time being, If it were me, I would try my best to detach completely. Earlier today, used pointed some things out and I had a change of heart in my position after some more of the story unraveled. I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. The web of a narc is very complicated. In order to get your bearings, if it were me, I would detach from both of them... But it's your call. You don't have to confront her outright, you are under enough stress...but some distance might be helpful to you. Again, your call. I know it sounds crazy, but for venting and support, you have this board and if you need more face to face, if you can spring for it - there is always the option of counseling if you are not in counseling already. Hugs!

#7 Apr 14 - 7AM (Reply to #9)

momoya

Dee-tach

I think there is a strong chance this girl may give info on you to the N. Get away from both of them.

momoya

#8 Apr 13 - 9PM

Luci

He has copied hers

Believe me he has copied hers same sort of thing happened to me. Everything she liked he liked. Thats what they do they copy, nothing is original. FB is a perfect place fpr N's. I created a new account no one knows abot and just use that now.

#9 Apr 13 - 8PM

Steph

It's hard to comment because

It's hard to comment because I don't know her, so I don't want to tell you, Yup she is crazy or manipulating you etc. I read your other thread about her and she seems concerned, although as a friend, why does she not delete him from her FB? Are you sure that she copied his quotes.....i mean is it possible ( since you are sure it isn't a coincidence, and I believe you ) that maybe HE copied HER quotes?

#10 Apr 13 - 9PM (Reply to #2)

Deidre40

staying strong

They are his quotes and how I know this, is a few of them are listed on his profile...on this other website we belong to. He's had them there since we both joined last year. (when we were just friends, but he was asking me out back then--and I was saying NO...and should have stuck to that!)I knew when I looked at his page tonight, that those quotes looked familiar...and I remember seeing a few of them on the other profile. (the one where he STILL has pics of me up that he refuses to remove for whatever reason) I don't believe any shenanigans are going on between them. That's not it. I don't believe she's manipulative, either. But. It is very clear as to why she doesn't delete him. Because she admires him. And that's enough for me to say in my heart and mind...SEE YA. I have never gone NC on two people at once. ha! The Italian is coming out in me...this is what we do best...hold grudges! lol I'm not holding a grudge. But, no more will I ignore a gut feeling. And as an aside...people warned me about her, when she and I became close. Weird, no? This is what happens when you turn your back on Christ. You make bad friends. Bad choices. You date bad men. I'm going to do what you suggest michele, and detach. Let them both think I died. I am no longer logging into that site, either. I want to just vanish. I can do this. I can no longer trust anyone who is ''friends'' with him. I will say she has been helpful to me. I will miss her. :( But, seeing those same quotes. It was as if God wanted me to see them. I mean, what possessed me to reactivate my FB? Something just seemed off ...and I decided to check. I should be thanking FB ...lol I don't know how some of you look at pics of new GF's and so on...seeing quotes on a supposed FRIEND's page sent me reeling. lol Because I trusted her. I hate to just vanish, but at the end of the day. My gut is telling me...she admires him. So don't sit and tell me you think he's mentally ill, and a psycho, and sick...and dangerous...when you are copying his effing quotes to put on your page! She told me she went on his page and said...''hey evil twin, where have you been?'' She left that on his page she said...on Sunday. So...yeah. I'm done with both of them. Well, I was done with the N. But, now I must let a 'friend' go... Thanks for listening. Talk to you all tomorrow... ~D

#11 Apr 13 - 10PM (Reply to #6)

Steph

gut feelings

If you have a gut feeling here, then I admire you for following it and going NC on her too. Honestly, trust yourself hun. You KNOW her and you KNOW him. If something feels off to you in our gut, then it is. "And as an aside...people warned me about her, when she and I became close. Weird, no?" Nope.... NOT weird. The warnings from others, coupled with your gut feelings....speaks volumes. You are doing the right thing. I'm sorry you are going through this shit now, but I have a good feeling about you....you are gonna overcome this and succeed. Have a good sleep. You deserve a solid night of rest:) xoxo

#12 Apr 13 - 9PM (Reply to #3)

michele115 (not verified)

Diedre...

"evil twin"...hmmmm Well we know the relationships between twins... I guess that's all I'll say. Hugs and sleep well... You have hundreds of friends here... AND you will have hundreds more... Moving forward you will learn discernment, and hopefully minimize if not totally avoid those that are toxic to you. -nite...

#13 Apr 13 - 10PM (Reply to #4)

Deidre40

michele

Yes, michele. You are right. And again...when I was close to Christ...I made excellent choices. Felt at peace. Didn't have evil all around me. I personally believe faith is key to healing. Get a load of this ! Before I forget. So for poops and giggles...I decided to google his name a minute ago. Just to see what comes up. A PIC OF US!!! hahahaha Good grief. Are you kidding me? That was the FIRST pic in the line up when I clicked images. It was his prior FB pic, and so that must store it on google??? ha! So...all of you out there in FB land...your pics are floating around on google now! lol Gotta laugh, or I'll just cry. (again) :+0 Made me laugh because new chix who google the ass...will have to see me, too!!! hahahaha!! I told you...the world is very round. I bet he has got to love that. My face comes up when you google HIS name. :P Good night!! Thank you again, michele...you really are quite awesome...you know that? {{hugs}}

#14 Apr 13 - 11PM (Reply to #5)

michele115 (not verified)

Thank you Diedre

AND you are too and I hope that tonight you are resting peacefully... Hugs!

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