what does a narc gain from carrying on with his charade

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#1 Oct 22 - 3PM

jaycee

what does a narc gain from carrying on with his charade

what does a narc, like my hN, gain from carrying on with his big charade? Does he think his lies will become the truth? Does he think, once the lie is found out, he will find another excuse to continue? For example, my hN continues to say to me and our daughter, he is getting his own place, he wants out of his relationship with the whore, and swears he will be in his own apt before Thanksgiving (needless to say, he has no extra money after paying all of our bills here) does he think he will conjure up another lie or excuse when the holidays roll around and he doesnt have his own place? what does a narc gain from their charade, yes, i know, supply, but supply runs out, when one is found out. For example, if he goes back on his word and is still living with the whore during the holidays, my daughter told him she would never forgive him and would not want to see him anymore, does he think he can fool her with some story of having no money, wants out, but has no where to go, etc....does he think i wont call him on it? what do they gain from all of this, knowing they will be found out if they dont come through with their promises? short stay of execution, extra time with safety supply, what? what do they gain? im serious, does he think he can continue on with his charade, i know all narcs play the charade game. please comment, jaycee

#2 Oct 23 - 7AM

jaycee

they do never gain anything

Its true, they never gain anything but supply, if you call it that, too bad, there is nothing real in their lives. I am so sad to know even their children are not good enough to get the truth from them. they continue their charade until they have destroyed everyone in their lives, and then, they continue until who knows when....Jaycee

Jaycee

#3 Oct 23 - 6AM

blueeyes

Gain?

I don't think they ever gain, but I think they exsist to keep the charade going. All of the aspects of their life are charades. Nothing is real..

#4 Oct 23 - 2AM

Briseis

Pure survival

Since they say whatever comes to mind to keep control (for whatever insane reason they need), they end up saying a lot of contradictory things, making a lot of promises that are sure to be broken. They are just trying to survive, keep their supply ready at hand.

#5 Oct 23 - 5AM (Reply to #12)

Alive

Spot

on!! Keeping control, keeping, keeping and more keeping.

#6 Oct 22 - 9PM

jaycee

thanks for all the responses

i am assuming they dont think that far ahead and if they do they have the attitude, ill cross that bridge when i come to it. i do agree with that. i think my hN is thinking, ill come up with some bs line when im not out by the holidays, then ill work on it later, what he doesnt know is he will be totally called out on it when he gets to that bridge, because even his daughter is going to go nc with him if he breaks this promise to her.......Jaycee

Jaycee

#7 Oct 22 - 7PM

faithinthefuture

In the moment

In the moment has a totally different meaning for them. Thats as far as they can think ahead. They are constantly looking for that instant gratification. That high on life. Constantly! We know in REAL life that doesn't exist. They don't think about how their words or actions will affect them let alone anyone else. Not even 5 minutes from now. They can't think that far ahead.

#8 Oct 22 - 7PM

Amazed

Power

What I have found is that the psychopath/N permeate your mind for years,,they think they have exclusive control over you,,,don't know why it is gratifying ,,they are not normal, can't and will not ever understand them. don't try

#9 Oct 22 - 7PM (Reply to #8)

Amazed

They do not have control over you

That is the good thing...they do this to try and claim dominance over you, doesn't work

#10 Oct 22 - 7PM (Reply to #6)

Amazed

They do not have control over you

That is the good thing...they do this to try and claim dominance over you, doesn't work

#11 Oct 22 - 7PM (Reply to #7)

Susan32

That's why we get D&D'd and/or we leave..they CAN'T!

When the ex-Psych professor tried to discourage me from NOT volunteering at a local school, it didn't work. When he tried to isolate me from my family and friends... it didn't work. When he wanted me to give up my Catholic faith... that didn't work. When he thought I shouldn't write about religion (I have been, being published over the past 7 years), all my brother in-law would say is "EPIC FAIL." He was as successful as Wile E. Coyote....

#12 Oct 22 - 6PM

Disillusionedx2

Supply

They are "eNpty" inside, hollow, this is what makes them appear/feel human. Do not listen to anything they say, what he does will tell the true story. About the only thing I came to believe is when he says "I gotta use the bathroom", and he actually goes in there and use it, lol. Beyond that, can't believe a word that come out of that eNpty mouth.

stay~strong

#13 Oct 22 - 3PM

wholeagain

In my experience

Narcs don't think too far, if at all, into the future nor think too much about the consequences of what they do. They also don't seem to learn from their mistakes. As long as he's still getting continued supply, in the now (which he is) then he'll keep doing what he's doing. The only thing that might change what he does is if those around him change what they're doing. He's following the path of least resistance really. From his point of view it would look like no one's making him own up to his promises, so he'll do whatever's most comfortable for him. All he has to do is tell people what he knows they want to hear.

#14 Oct 22 - 4PM (Reply to #3)

mystwoman

This is so true. They're

This is so true. They're very impulsive and only think about what they want RIGHT NOW. They don't learn from their mistakes, and don't think about the consequences of their actions either. Whatever current b.s. sounds or looks good to them AT THE MOMENT seems to be about as far as they go. N's are like adult-sized, bratty two year-old toddlers. My xnh used to scream at his P daughter, "You don't think beyond your left nostril!" Neither does he. I guess she learned from a master.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

#15 Oct 22 - 4PM (Reply to #2)

MovinOnUp

I agree

I think that's the long and the short of it. They just tell you what you want to hear to pacify you in that very moment. They don't think that far ahead. I guess they have that "I'll worry about that bridge when I come to it." mentality. Not that they really worry about anything other than themselves.

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