I understand it means devalue and discard, but they seem to enjoy putting into practice a lot of the 'D' words de-value, demean, degrade, disconnect, discard, discourage, disparage, despise.
http://www.lisaescott.com/2010/05/05/understanding-narcissists-cycle-idealizing-you-devaluing-demeaning-you
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"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran
http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4
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"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran
"That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung
...devalue and discard.
It is what narcissists do to the people that love them. I haven't explained this at all well, and I'm not even going to attempt to! Please, if I may - I'll leave it to Barbara or other forum members to explain it properly...to describe the dynamics of the whole D&D situation. I can and do understand it in my head, but I'm interested in hearing it explained by others too.
But yes, we've all been D&D'd - sometimes over and over and over and over and over...
Thank you. That's a great start. I have been a victim of the verbal, emotional and emotional abuse the would from reading know that this devaluing and discarding will also pertain to me. What's bizarre is how they can manage to get us back after devaluing us so much and guess we feel the need to prove our value when our value is inherent and should be valued and we should be loved without having to prove anything!
Always remember that you ARE loved, just not by him...which is truly HIS loss. And also keep it in mind that he can't love ANYONE...he's too darn busy loving himself. Keep strong and realise it's not you who is the problem.
Sorry to hear you have suffered at the hands of an N. They are unfeeling slimeballs - they abuse us and then punish us for daring to show our hurt at their dispicable treatment of us. According to their rule book, we must adore the N at all times no matter what he says or does to us - otherwise we are not playing our correct character role in his fantasy play!
Glad to hear you are educating yourself re his behaviours and learning that none of this is your fault. Hope you can go on from this point to heal and enjoy your life N free. Thats what many of us here are doing and striving towards.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran
http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran
"That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung
Article on D&D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran
"That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung
http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4
D&D means...
Thank you. That's a great
Thank goodness for sites like this!
Monica8
Monica8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran
"That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung
http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4