Were you the one to do the breaking up--and he hoovered you to then D&D you?

First time...11 weeks NC and he came crying back (crocodile tears) because an entire community turned against him and he needed a "friend." I felt awful for letting him back in so I blocked him again a week or two after that. He got through to me at work. More crocodile tears. "I can't get you out of my head." Blah, blah, blah. I removed the blocks. He was on meds and in intensive therapy. When he went off the meds, it all fell apart again. Nine months later, during which I gave him everything and supported him fully through what was probably the toughest time in his entire life, he wakes up one morning and says he doesn't know what he wants (meaning he is not sure if he wants ME). I walk out and block him once again. Wah, wah, wah....more crocodile tears, more lies, more manipulation. I take out what he calls the "M16," I aim and I fire at him. He is now so full of holes he may as well not even be there. Wah, wah, wah. Claims the things I said "hurt" him. (But it is acceptable to hurt me.) "I don't want to lose you as a friend, you are my most trusted friend, I have to talk to you about everything, run everything by you, does this mean you will never cook for me again or go to the Art Museum with me again?" blah, blah, blah. He doesn't get it. GO AWAY! I am much happier without you! Everybody sees it and says it. You are not good for me! And to think.....many times during those nine months he would cry and beg me, "Please don't hurt me! I have been hurt so many times before. Please don't hurt me!" So pathetic. I just want him to go away and never hoover me again. I sealed the last crack so I think I can block him out completely! And it is true...each time you go back, they get worse, hurt you worse than before, you put yourself in so much more emotional and mental danger than the previous times. For your own health, sanity and maybe even for your very life....do NOT ever take them back. When words come out of their mouths, just keep thinking, "Lie, lie, lie!!" Their entire existence is a lie.

Yes, I had the police remove him from the home. he hoovered for 2 months and begged to come back. When I caved and let him back in he D&D'd me after 11 days and moved out while I was not at home. It was all a set up to hurt me. it was payback. But the joke is on him. it was the best thing he could have done for me. Almost 8 months and NC after 25 years of marriage. One day I will thank him for giving me my like back. They are very vindictive and calculating. Sick!

on here of that happening to so many!

he d/d me a few times, he just dissapeared then when he came back i just went back,but i did begin changing towards him, and he noticed it,so to cut a long story short, the end of the line was me d/d him 3times and the 4th time i done it for good, 18mnths ago, each time he had hoovered me back i went back with the intention of doing it to him, the last 3times, he couldnt have been nicer if he tried, i still d/d him, the 4th time, i was actually having a coffee with someone else, i totally ignored him and he began screaming about i had used him and how i was treating him like a cxxt, and all i said was you dont own me ,you dont control me, you never did and i never spoke to him again, he tried and tried everything to get me back,i treat him like he doesnt exsist, i dont recommend any one else doing it like this, but i was good to him, i stood by him when noone else did, and i had an ow come out of nowhere to tell me she had been in a 3year relationship with him, did i set him up? yes i did, and he walked back in 4 times like the stupid arrogant pig he is, more fool him.oh i told ow and showed her all his loving texts to me, that i had kept knowing one day i would need them, i was married to exnh for 31 years, so i learned a lot, the narc thought he was so clever, but my exh had been a good teacher lol. i sound like a vindictive bitter women, well i was, but i was vindicated and that was that.never ever again will i get involved with anyone.