well im back!!! :(

10 posts / 0 new

#1 Jun 17 - 4AM

indenial

well im back!!! :(

Stupid fool that I am I went back into denial. I let him hoover me. Thought I was in control. Stupid me. I went back. I didn't listen to your warnings and within weeks the mask slipped and of course its all my fault. Kind of back to square one with him but it doesn't hurt me so much after the initial shock I just accept that he's damaged. He's mentally ill he's proved it. Just comes back to my safety though. The threats. The violence. I can handle it when its directed at me but when its directed at my son and the father of my kids, my ex, he's got me. I'm terrified. The police have been involved. He's been in court. It doesn't stop him. I have to live in fear. I feel like my life is over. Not because he's cruelly D&D'd me again, because I left him, but because he threatens to hurt those close to me when he realises he can't hurt me and I stand up to him. Oh god its one thing dealing with an N but when they are a violent sadistic criminal that the police have been wanting to get for years and even the domestic abuse team are scared of communication with me because of him I'm really in trouble. He gets me back in conversation through fear and then he hooks me back with sympathy and I'm ruined again. I want my life back

#2 Jun 19 - 7AM

Kitty02 (not verified)

He is not the first guy to

He is not the first guy to behave like this and unfortunately won't be the last. So you went back, you made a mistake, know use crying over spilt milk you have to dig deep, get strong and turn things around and get you and yours safe. Believe me I know I have been there. At the time I found my strength in my fury and my fear. Get in touch with a women refuge and go there. Disappear for a while. That is what women's refuges are for so you don't have to involve anyone else with these types. Everything is very private and confidential. It's up to you only you can do this now. When others see you are serious about getting rid of him then they will begin to come back to you.

#3 Jun 18 - 12PM

indenial

thankyou

For your replies. The police are useless. I've nowhere to go but back to my ex partner and my children but he doesn't want me there because of all theis grief from the N. Everyone has turned there back on me because I went back to him. Nobody undrstands. Now I'm worse off than ever ! Since my posting he rammed me in my car with his 4x4. Gave the police some bullshit and they believed him. If I pursue it he will just threaten my family again. I've never been so alone in my life. I have no one and I'm slipping into depression. He is just blame shifting and makking me feel inadequate. I had the knowledge. I had the power. What went wrong ?

#4 Jun 18 - 12PM (Reply to #8)

Used

indenial

you went back...thats what happened ..what we have to come to terms with is when you go back you are validating every ARSEHOLE thing they done to you ..thats why it gets worse..myexn said they must love it[his women] they all come back...well apart from 2 of his exs...i see now one is back and the way he treated he had enough injunctions [ro,s] to paper a room...she has gone back after 6 years...i will interested to see the outcome....and thats what its all about..people say when you go back they punish you...i see it as getting worse b/c you have made them feel its ok and they can get away with again...sorryxx

#5 Jun 18 - 2AM

Kitty02 (not verified)

Indenial

My heart goes out to you because this is what my PDman #1 was like.(I've had two PD's but #2 was a walk in the park compared to #1) I found out through the short time we lived together that many women had run away to refuges in fear of him. He is currently serving 9 and a half years in prison. He has terrorized many a man and woman but there is always someone tougher then them and he will fall down one day. I can not believe that I got involved with someone like that. It was sheer hell. Now because of his prison sentence he has a licence on him when he gets out and a super asbo. The police have been trying for years to get him for the things he does. These people think they are invincible but really they are stupid and believe their own publicity. If I never see the b****rd again it will be to soon. It is a awful experience to go through. When people tell you to call the police they don't understand that they put in your head that the police can't watch you 24/7 and realistically they can't. Like all these types they brain wash you one way or another. It is good that the police are involved now though. You have to keep everything he does to you and yours on record now though. You have to be strong and go COMPLETELY NC. You must not give in, you must not poke the dragon. Get in touch with a woman organisation that deals with domestic violence, found out where your nearest refuge is. I lost all my money running away from him but my happiness and my children's happiness is so much more important. If you decided to go to a refuge or stay away for a while don't tell anyone where you are going, TRUST NO ONE with the information, he will just bully them to find out. It has taken me years to get the guy I was involved with out of my life, he tried to stay there in the guise of a best friend thus keeping his options open. My God the man battered me it was like what he done to me never happened. I tried to hold the candle to the devil without getting involved romantically with him again because I was so terrified of him but since learning loads about PD and taking care of myself emotional, mentally and physically over the years I have began to stand firm and the last few years had very little to do with him and now absolutely nothing and I will keep it to nothing. The more time you put between you not seeing him the easier it will get. I am under know illusions that psycho/narc #1 will try to contact me in years to come but know I can't let him anywhere near me. He knows you are fearful of him that's how he gets his foot in the door and he is using it just like my ex did. If you are really serious about getting this monster out of your life (and it's not easy it is upheaval but well worth it)take your child and stay somewhere for a while. Soon he will find new supply, someone else to bully if he hasn't already, you are probably one of many a family he is(has) terrorizing(terrorized) the crap out of. Keep Strong and good luck xoxox

#6 Jun 22 - 1AM (Reply to #6)

indenial

kitty02

Thanks for your advise. I know I too have to stand firm and I am. I'm not sure about a refuge but if I have to I will. He's written my car off so iv got to deal with the practical aspects first. Xx

#7 Jun 17 - 7AM

spinning

in denial,

at least now you know you will never be in denial again. He's a twisted, disordered freak and he will get what's coming to him. I am sorry that this happened to you but I am glad that you are here where you will get the support and help you need to be done ONCE AND FOR ALL. In denial, please please do whatever is necessary to stay safe. I am glad you called the cops, please keep calling them no matter what their reaction is. Please tell everyone you trust about this situation and ask them to be alert for you and to help you stay safe. In denial, I am sending you a big hug and good vibes for strength and peace of mind. Please keep us posted on how you are doing and please know you will get your life back! We'll help! Stay strong and stay safe. Hugs from (totally NOT) spinning. I'M DONE!

spinning

#8 Jun 22 - 1AM (Reply to #4)

indenial

spinning

Thanks for the hug :) xx

#9 Jun 17 - 7AM

wacaet

yes, is there anyway to move

yes, is there anyway to move away or go on a long vacation?

#10 Jun 17 - 5AM

Lobo555

I'm so sorry to hear this!

Can you go somewhere for a while to get away from him? Hugs and prayers -- I can't imagine how awful this is. You will get your life back. You know what he is and won't return to him. Now you just need to focus on everyone's safety. Have you gone to the police about this latest bout?

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