We were just a "TOY STORY" put in a box as they moved on.................

I knew this would hit a nerve with many of you as it still does me. Monarch inspired me to write this post as she described her experience as being Jesse who was thrown under the bed and was brought out again to play with as her x stumbled upon her on FB, he played with her again for a bit then tossed her back under the bed. She probably laid there lifeless for a bit and thought WELL, this sucks, here I am under the bed again, ...poor thing finally got up and said, I AM OTTA HERE!!! He will NEVER have the privilege or honor of playing with me again. I am not laying under this bed one minute longer and watching his feet. Toy Story serves as the perfect allegory to our experience, and how these toys/objects came to life and touched our hearts in understanding the pain of being thrown away and forgotten.

I watched all of the Toy Story movies with my children growing up (but I think I was the one still growing up) and absolutely loved them; the adult humor, but perhaps more than ever it reminded me how fast we grow up and leave the things that we once cherished behind us. If I remember correctly in the movie, Andy is leaving for college, his mothers asks him to dispose of his childhood toys - rather than actually putting them in the trash to be destroyed, he passes them on to a child who could enjoy them as he once did. Andy played with his toys for the very last time with this child, remembering the fantasies and happy days he once had with them.

If you saw this movie, did you ever imagine in your life that you would experience what these toys did? To be THROWN AWAY when your usefulness was served and/or up? Damn, weren't even passed on to be loved and played with; we literally had to climb our way out of the trash can and shake off all the garbage that contaminated us. The person(a) who played with us was NOT like Andy. Andy was able to reflect in his memory the sheer joy and love he once had for these toy objects and he made that perfectly clear when he told the little girl to please take care of them.

How do we move on knowing we were tossed out like toys when our usefulness was up? I was broken when he threw me away, but only because HE BROKE ME. I was broken internally - thank GOD I wasn't Mrs or Mr Potato Head or I probably would not have any limbs left or a face - I wish one of us would have been "CHUCKIE" - that would have given the bastard a few challenges, but that's another story -

Throwing away a perfectly good human being is beyond the realm of something I will ever understand, even with my extensive knowledge of psychopaths. At best, my understanding only comes in the form of literature and personal experience, but this understanding will never reach me emotionally and from within my heart. I will never be able to FEEL how they can do this, so what's the point of trying to understand it on any emotional level? I feel more remorse from throwing away "a perfectly good glass of milk".

It is my belief there is a part of our inner emotional structure and humanity that we must disconnect from to some extent if we are to overcome the shock and aw of their INhumanity. Not to say we should disregard or regret for one minute our beautiful capacity to posses all the qualities that make us human. Trying to comes to terms in understanding a psychopath it served no purpose for me to curl up in a ball and cry until I threw up asking "HOW could he do this?" I was processing this psychopath with my entire emotional being because I could not understand his lack of it, and feeling the pain of these emotions made it no easier for me to understand why HE didnt!

Sometimes you will never understand how they can do the things they do - they just can, because they are NOT HUMAN. You not being able to process this or understand it only means it is SO DAMN BAD that it was impossible for a normal human being to comprehend, and you accept it as such. Just remember him and his continual cycle of playing with all his toys for "Infinity and Beyond", and be grateful he no longer wants to play with you.