I know each and everyone of you told me NC; however, I am a person that needs to express my feelings the time they arrive...or let's just say until I blow.
I called him, he answered. I was very surprised by this. He actually held a conversation with me. First, now I have doubt that he is even a Narc because he held this conversation with me. Now I feel like I am totally wrong about him..denial?
Our conversation was this..basically, he did in fact thing we were no longer together as you guys told me he would say. Mind you, I had no clue, just the silent treatment from him. I expressed my feelings towards what happened the other day..which was regarding another female he briefly met, text messages (he is unaware I found), and a profile pic he put up on a social network site. Yes, fb, of him and her. He responded by saying it seems like this always happens when he leaves town and comes home. He feels that I do not trust and expressed that he DID NOT cheat on me when I was pregnant with our child. (He did not come home one night, lied to me, I called the female, no sex involved but they stayed the night together? Mmm.)
Anyways, he voiced that he knows he is not perfect, nor the easiest person to be in a relationship with..hense my doubt now of who he really is (need help on this one!). I told him my thoughts. He said that he feels obligated at times to take me out along with his friends because he will hear shit if there is another female around. Now listen, I do not believe I am THAT insecure. I am very go lucky, out-going, loved to meet new people; however, when numbers show up and he begins to flirt with others or vice/versa that is where my body language is at a stand still. Is this my fault?
I am pretty sure we are officially broken-up at the moment and I do not think I am going to his birthday celebration tomorrow night as many of you told me not to. I trust every single one of you on this site. He came off to me as cold. I feel like this might be "it." I am scared due to the fact that you might as well say I wiped his ass for him. I helped take care of his son for him, I have called in to babysit, I have gave him money when I had nothing, I have pleased him in bed before ever getting pleased myself. I bite my tongue on numerous occasions..but is this a decent guy? Am I getting fooled by his communication today?
I know this is not my fault, truly. I know any decent girl would speak as I did. I held my tongue for a very LONG time and it finally came out on Monday regarding respect and other women. He did say that he knows I have a problem with this, and stated this will probably never change (regarding him). Help me depict this conversation. Am I stupid? He is a Narc correct?