1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. We need to be more sensitive

We need to be more sensitive

13 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Dec 5 - 12PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

We need to be more sensitive

Bisexual and homosexual, as descriptions of a person's sexuality, are NOT deviant in themselves. Deviance is a separate issue.

Deviance is an "attitude" that perverts normal things. Sex and pleasure are normal things, Whoever created us made us humans some seriously horny creatures.

People with internal disturbances like NPD or ASPD (especially the latter) can pervert a birthday cake. They can pervert a sunny day. It only follows that they are gonna pervert sex.

I am really getting nervous that we are treading into sensitive grounds with lumping homosexuality into the perversions of a perverted person. I know we do have homosexual members, and I imagine if I saw my already controversial sexual orientation lumped in with some Narc's perversions, I'd be hurt :(

Victims of Narcs and other abusive assclowns are all together in this. We should be more sensitive to each other's differences. I'm sure that no one here was getting in a good gay bash all of a Sunday morn :D . We (Betty, Lisa, MsVulcan and I) are all concerned about this, and agree that we need to be more sensitive.

At the same time, the impact of the Narcs sexual deviance is REAL and hurtful and I have myself been very damaged by it. It needs to come out, we need the validation of each other's experiences to know we aren't alone, to help us understand more about what happened to us.

I'm gonna post this as a topic of it's own. We don't want to censor anyone's need to vent, share or seek validation.

We also are cringing that we are very likely causing victims like ourselves, who are homosexual, to feel put down :(

Dec 5 - 4PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

ok I have a question here

I classify deviant is doing something considered out of the norm for you and how you represent your self to the world. I think if a homosexual is seeking out hetrosexual realatinships when they are telling the whole world and their partner that there homsexual then I would say that its sexually deviant for them and vice versa.
Dec 5 - 4PM (Reply to #12)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

You are entitled to your

You are entitled to your point of view, it makes sense to you. We are talking about NPD and how NPD affects sexual behavior, not about what in your view (or mine) is deviant. That is definitely not within the scope of this forum. What is in the scope is how NPDs GENERALIZED disturbance disturbs everything about them, including sexual expression, and then how that hurts/impacts us.
Dec 5 - 12PM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Briseis

Thank you, Briseis. You couldn't have said it better: "Deviance is an "attitude" that perverts normal things. Sex and pleasure are normal things, Whoever created us made us humans some seriously horny creatures. People with internal disturbances like NPD or ASPD (especially the latter) can pervert a birthday cake. They can pervert a sunny day. It only follows that they are gonna pervert sex." We must be careful not to classify a person's sexual orientation as deviant simply because our EXN explored it. Sexual orientation is much different than sexual deviance. Thanks for clarifying, Briseis!
Dec 5 - 5PM (Reply to #10)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Narcs can pervert...

Great literature. Education. Religion. Without sex being involved at all. I've ALWAYS defined sexual deviance as something that's non-consensual and is abusive. Using other people as objects is deviance. It's NOT a certain technique or fetish. Leo Tolstoy engaged in normal sex with his wife Sofia, but he bragged about how he used her as a sexual object to fellow author Ivan Turgenev. He bragged about using her for sex whenever he wanted, and when she wanted to use birth control- he forbade her from doing so. It's not about gay or straight, but whether people are being respected, their feelings treated with dignity.
Dec 5 - 12PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

sexuality

I have no problem with what two consenting adults do. I may not condone a lot of preferences from a religious or moral standpoint, but God bless America and what her people want to do with each other, consensually. I do have a huge probelm with a guy who claims to be my boyfriend but who will not penetrate my vagina, wants me to lick his ass for a good half hour at one sitting, and drives into the night regularly in one of a half dozen cars with tinted windows but doesn't have time to take me to dinner or take my daughters to the park.
Dec 5 - 12PM (Reply to #6)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

I have a problem just

I have a problem just READING about your Narc's "preferences" so experiencing them yourself . . . lol. Yep. A serious problem with that. But what you describe above has nothing to do with homosexuality as an orientation. No matter what a Narc will humiliate and undermine ANY normal thing.
Dec 5 - 1PM (Reply to #7)
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

Whoa :D

My gag reflex is worn out. Ew, N's are so gross! I think this thread is FINALLY inspired me to shower :D
Dec 5 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Or at least run the shower

Or at least run the shower full blast directly into my eyes :D You get a gag reflex reading that too?? Ack.
Dec 5 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

I have the same problem

I do have a huge probelm with a guy who claims to be my boyfriend but who will not penetrate my vagina, I have more respect for anyone gay who is honest about it, or if they choose not to be open about it does not give them the right to hurt people, having women as as a cover and destroying that persons life to hide what they really are. Naturally if we are talking about a psychopath they hide who they are their whole life. I told my gay friend what this man did to me and he was repulsed by his actions and the deception and betrayal he did to my life
Dec 5 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

We are talking about NARCS

We are talking about NARCS here. And it's none of our business if a gay person is honest about their sexual preference of not. There are often good reasons a homosexual is not waving their orientation out in the open. On the other hand, by their NATURE a Narc is in the closet about everything. They are closet HUMAN BEINGS. They just dishonestly pretend to be aliens lol!! Let's just be aware of not overgeneralizing here, that's all we're saying. If a topic about needy, dependent women who "enjoy" being abused because they are masochistic came up, I'd be feeling pretty hurt on behalf of WOMEN. The Narc is a bastard perverted mess. Period. They eat with a fork, use toilets and write books and lead nations. So is eating with a fork, using a toilet and being a political leader an indication of NPD? That's my point :)
Dec 5 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

ok

I do understand, I think my point is he pretended to be everything he was NOT, such betrayal and he turned EVERYTHING into such perversion, having sex is NOT a perverted act but he made it such. You can say that again bastard perverted mess, his perversion damaged me sexually. Thank you for calling this to my attention again I didnt mean to put down anyone that was gay, only that sick bastard narc that destroys everything he touches
Dec 5 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Amen, that sick bastard NARC

Amen, that sick bastard NARC destroys everything that he touches. I know that no one intended to put down gays. It's just a matter of being conscious that people from all walks of life are victimized by these idiots, and we live in a culture that is still struggling with this hot button issue and therefore, homosexual people live in a world where they have to put up with a LOT of unintended (and the intended) put downs. This should be a very safe place for all victims of NPD :)