We Broke Up Again

Well, we broke up again. The last 2 months he has pulled away. I gave him space. I have been very understanding, really nice and sweet, as usual. He had plans all weekend (men stuff). We didn't see each other. I filled my weekend with plans with my girls and my parents. We texted throughout the weekend and he called. Everything was great. I left my girls event and went to eat with my parents. Saturday night after he finished with the guy (around 9:00) he called. The conversation was good at first, then he started accusing me of being at bars. Really? I didn't finish with my girls until a little before 8. I had gone to eat with my parents. The accusations went on for about 25 minutes. I got up early Sunday. I surprised him with breakfast. The first thing he said was "I guess you're on your way home from whatever you did last night.". I said no, I just wanted to see him. After that everything was great. Then yesterday I texted yesterday morning, the usual good moring I love you thing. He told me he was taking his grandaughter fishing. I was very understanding. I told him we were joining a gym and going to workout later. I figured this would bother him. But I'm tired of sitting home all the time. I hear nothing from him. I do usually texted him to see how his day went. But I didn't. I really wanted to see if he would contact me. And he didn't. Before I went to bed I texted and said I hope they had fun, goodnight I love you. That was welcomed with a comment about me being short and my attitude about him spending time with his family. Which I reassured him, as usual, I love that he is such a great father and grandfather. It just blew up. He started accusing me of laying out all night Sat night and calling me a liar and shady. I told him I was tired of defending myself. And he said I didn't have to defend myself anymore. Bring him his stuff. He called and got ugly so I hung up on him. He called again, I declined it. He drove to my house and acted terrible.I know he is wrong and I don't deserve this. I have been totally faithful to him, even during the break-ups. I haven't been out with anybody since the first night we went out. I feel a little stronger this time. I pray I can continue to build on this strength. I know I deserve it. How can somebody let another person make the question who they are? I mean, I know who I am and the person I am. How can I let him make me question myself. I have worked hard to get where I am. I am a Christian, I have a master's degree, I am a great mother and person. I have always been a confident person. He called me a user. I have never used him. He has done great things for my girls and me. But mostly them, it just helps me that he did them. I do know the women he has dated in the past wanted him only for what he could do for them. But I truly love him. He will never see that, will he?

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Believe in yourself!
Terri

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