Waiting

I had this epiphany last night that so much of my relationship with n was about waiting. So little time was actually spent together. I was too busy waiting:

Waiting for the call
Waiting for the text
Waiting to get together
Waiting for sex
Waiting for the gift
Waiting to be paid back
Waiting for the apology
Waiting for compilment
Waiting for the explanation
Waiting for the understanding
Waiting for the look
Waiting for the understanding

Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting

Waiting for the anger
Waiting for the hurtful comments
Waiting for the rolling eyes
Waiting for a better mood
Waiting for his stressors to be reduced
Waiting to be hung up on
Waiting for the silent treatment
Waiting for the cancellation
Waiting to be blamed
Waiting to be lied to
Waiting to be told I didnt understand
Waiting to be told "it was over"

I did so little living and so much waiting.