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#1 Nov 30 - 6PM
blueworld's picture


violent with you....always violent with the ones before ...the ones coming?

same things he did to you?...worse? because you left him...(if thats the case)

your thoughts?

Dec 1 - 5PM
Gaia's picture

violent 2 year old !

xN would only get violent when I would say he did something wrong..or sometimes he would IMAGINE I was saying he was doing something wrong. The guy lived in defense mode every waking minute. But he would NEVER get violent if someone else said he did anything wrong, his reasoning for that, he said "its because I actually care what you think of me". BULLSHIT, he didnt give a rats ass to care about anything..oh except his EGO. Nothing short of a psychopath. XX
Dec 1 - 3PM
mystwoman's picture

I agree. They get worse.

I agree. They get worse. Xnh was apparently threatening and violent with his first wife. I don't know all the details of what exactly transpired between them during their 10 year marriage. However, I did hear some of the awful things he said to her, and I know one time before we were in a relationship (I was friends with xnh for about a year before I stupidly became involved with him), we had dropped by their house at lunch so that xnh could pick up a box to mail. It was in the master bedroom, and I made a comment to xnh about, "So what the Hell happened to the bumpers on your water bed?" They were ripped and shredded all over. Truthfully, I was expecting him to say it was his wife's cat, but no, xnh told me he'd gotten really angry one night and his wife was laying on the bed while he bashed it all over with a cheese grater to threaten and scare her. Cute, huh? That must have quite some rage, because those bumpers were completely ripped to shreds. Xnh seemed to quite proud that he'd scared his wife shitless. This should have been a huge flag for me, and I overlooked it. Dummy me. :) When I got into a relationship with xnh, his verbal and emotional abuse became horrendous within a few months. During my years with him, xnh quickly ramped up the violence and his threats of violence. I suspect xnh was much worse with me than he'd been with his first wife. She was a fairly passive person, and would take his crap. I argued back. Being slammed into walls, grabbed by the arms and throat, pushed, held down, and xnh throwing things at me became a common occurrence. There was hardly a day that went by without xnh threatening to leave me, throw me out of the car, or calling me assorted dirty names. I've been called "you fucking cunt, etc." so many times that I can't even remember them all. At the end of our marriage, xnh went so far as tell me he wished I'd go ahead and just die...get it over with quickly because I was "holding him back from really living" with my health problems. He, also, told me that he was going to beat the shit out of me until I divorced him. Xnh knew all of this would really scare me because I have severe osteoporosis. Fractures happen easily and have really severe consequences for me. I was terrified that xnh would try to kill me (or worse leave me alive and permanently maimed). By the time, he cheated and dumped me, I was living in daily fear that if he didn't try to outright kill me, xnh would at the very least be willing to help speed my death along. I was afraid to be alone with xnh for about the last year were were together. He wouldn't bully me if someone else was around, but if I got trapped alone with him...look out. I encouraged his youngest daughter to stay with us as much as possible during this year. Xnh didn't want her to see his real disordered personality. Her presence provided safety for me, and I enjoyed her company. Xnh has tried stalking and harassing me since the divorce. However he's currently mostly leaving me alone because I've filed harassment complaints at work that could lose him his job. I've also made it QUITE well known that if I see him either on my property or following me around in public I fully intend to call the police and/or shoot his ass. Personally, I suspect the reason I have peace from xnh 1.5 years after the divorce is my complete NC, and I intend to be so much trouble for xnh that I'm not worth his effort when/if he pulls anything. I firmly believe that xnh will be more violent and it will happen sooner in his next relationship. God help the poor woman that takes up with him for any length of time.

God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Dec 1 - 4AM
Swan's picture


My counselor told me that they are typically worse with their spouse. The intimacy bond, the closeness, the unique relationship that they actually believed they were capable of achieving. and that they fear the most but want the most so they lash out at us for loving them. They don't love and respect themselves b.c they have a pretty low view of themselves so therefore since we love them the most, that we must be the most unworthy and they feel the necessity to punish us for loving them. crazy.
Nov 30 - 8PM
needing2know's picture

They are all violent in their

They are all violent in their own special twisted sorry ass pantie waist ways! But I do believe from what I have seen is that with each new person they get worse.
Nov 30 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
blueworld's picture


yeah with him three years the one thing he always did when he raged would be to grab me one handed by my throat , pick me up throw me and get on top of me, choking me one handed, or grabbing my face..this happened about once every two to three weeks sometimes more frequently just was curious, with what he age is if he only did it with me or will continue to with the next one and possibly worse because i ripped his mask off in front of someone exposed him and broke up with him forcing him to his homestate
Nov 30 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
needing2know's picture

My first ex H treats his wife

My first ex H treats his wife now really bad she gets it 10 times worse than I ever did!They get worse!