Venting

Now I'm angry. Emotions are swinging all over the place today. Fuck him, today. Fuck him for using me for two years, with all his lies. The only one suffering now is me, I'm getting up and going for a walk, I will clear my head of him. I refuse to let him waste another day of my valuable life. If I would have stayed I would have lost even more of myself. The only truth he ever told, was I was to good for him. I am. I refuse to waste my time and energy on him, trying to understand how sick he is. He a sick man, disorder to the core. I know enought to start moving forward. I remember one day, he uttered under his breathe his mother was a whore. That's how he sees women. Lesson learned, I'm focusing on me and my life. Life is in front of me, not behind me. I survived child abuse, attempted murder, homelessness, proverty, racism, survivor of a cult, and I will survive this and I will thrive. I will do the hard work to bring healing in the crack areas in my life. I will live my life fully again, I will love and I will be a blessing to those around me. I'm still young, beautiful, full of strength and wisdom. I believe you are as young as you feel, I'm 53 but I have so much to do, yet. I will accomplish the goals, I set for myself before I got derailed by him. It's a good day to be alive. Everyday I will set one small goal to propel me to the goodness there is in living. Today, that is a walk to breath in fresh air and to remember being alive is a good thing.