Vampires and Narcs

Like a Vampire needs blood, so it is with a Narcissist and energy. They need energy from others to survive...alone and unattended, they wither and die. So they hunt for prey...new prey, old prey...easy prey, and hard prey. They are on the lookout, and will sometimes keep lots of feelers out...ready to strike.

All Narc actions are for the primary purpose of getting something from you to feed them. Once you realize that you are simply food for them, maybe some of the veil will be lifted and you can see the situation for what it really is...one sided. Manipulating you to get what they want. What these people tell you they want is a story, fairy tale, designed to hook you into them. Truth has nothing to do with what they tell you, because they are stuck with their disorder and its inherent flaws that devour those associated with them. You want love, a relationship, a romance, a mate. They want attention, supply, an object to adore them. See the problem? See the dissonance?

They projected a lie to us, and only we can decide to accept the truth of what was really happening. Decipher the reality behind the illusion. The real sickness behind the mask.

Remember when the first red flags appeared? Remember when the first devalue and discard happened? Remember how you wanted to justify it, maybe even accept responsibility for it? If we were sharing the daily updates with friends or family, most of us can remember them warning us off. Telling us to run, run, run away from this emotional retard. But we didn't run, we excused. We wanted the fantasy, so we hung in hoping things would change. And things did change. We got the life sucked out of us. Blood will be taken, energy will be sapped. Our blood, our energy, given to a heartless, soulless thief!

The choice is ours, however in the beginning the call of the drug can appear to offer more hope than the reality of walking through apparent fire to find recovery. The mind searches for relief, for comfort, for distraction...and flooded with the empty pain of withdrawal, it gets louder and sharper and feels like the negativity is seemingly unconquerable...the crescendo builds so that nothing else seems available to calm the maddening volume...and we cave in, and make contact, or allow contact by responding to some stupid text, email, or chat request.

How many of us, in the midst of this overwhelming pain, can have the presence of mind to inquire..."what is this pain?"..."what is this discomfort?"...and then...instead of picking up the phone, or logging on...can pick up a pen and paper and take a moment or two, or a minute or two...and write down what this discomfort really is? Ask ourselves what is the purpose behind wanting to believe the lies...not only the lies they tell us, but the lies we tell ourselves.

This recovery is truly an inside job. We don't "work" on the Narc, we work on us. We "look" inside, we write about what we see there, what we hear, what that little internal shitty committee is saying...we write it all out.

Or we go back and suffer again, and again, and again. My preference is a yellow legal pad and a few yellow pencils and a cheap plastic sharpener...there is something magically releasing and revealing about running the lead across the paper...it is real, it is our marking out and defining our willingness to get better, to get real, to get so fucking in touch with our strengths and weaknesses that we can never be defeated by any other human being again!

With much love from...

ds