Validation

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#1 Jul 4 - 8PM
Redhead1
Redhead1's picture

Validation

I keep having a nagging issue with myself. People that were close to me knew of the other woman and have yet to say anything. Am I being over-sensitive or should they have told me? It took me a while to find out what he was up to. He denied having another woman, still does. People knew I was conflicted over this, but still never said anything. It is all come out in the end with phone records and witness (who cared enough to tell me the truth). So, I am no longer looking to validate the OW issue. I have come so far and only have a few nagging issues that I need to deal with. Any advice?
Deep down I guess I know the answer, but I guess I need some validation on this. Thanks

Jul 4 - 9PM
Steph
Steph's picture

I can understand why just

I can understand why just casual aquaintances would want to keep out of it, but a GOOD friend should have told you. Having said that, I know that sometimes evern "good" friends will not say anything because they fear you not believing them and their comments ruining the friendship. It's tough......I guess my best advice would be to ask yourself what YOU would do if you knew your good friend's man was cheating? whatever that is, don't settle for anything less from a friend....make sense?
Jul 5 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
Redhead1
Redhead1's picture

It makes very good sense!

It makes very good sense! Thanks
Jul 4 - 8PM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Tough One

i think most people do not bring this bad news. If the woman loves him, she will be angry at the messenger. The husband/boyfriend might deny. messenger will be a "liar" & no longer around. Affairs are something that only really close friends, family & siblings reveal. That's my take. Generally after a breakup. "Friends" of the couple go one way or the other. Very rarely can one play both sides of the fence, esepcailly if the break up was ugly. If the person is going your way, most likely he or she will explain why they did not volunteer information.
Jul 4 - 8PM
bakingfortherapy
bakingfortherapy's picture

Validation..

This troubled me a little bit too but not as much as all the emotional terrorism he inflicted on me. I guess I was picking my battles. I did have many people that knew, some good friends, even my boss- I asked the girlfriends ( more like acquaintances) why they didn't tell me. They all said they didn't want to get involved, they only found out a short time before me or they thought I knew. Bottom line is it's a sticky situation and people dont want to be mIxed in it. Sorry this is hard but I would be glad u did find out now. In some cases these jerks get away for a long time. Good luck to u.
Jul 4 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
Redhead1
Redhead1's picture

I feel close friends and

I feel close friends and family should tell. I have friends at work (just work friends, but I still think a lot of them) that if I knew thier man was cheating I would think of a way to tell them. I know the messenger of news like this is not welcome, but I have seen other people send notes to spouses etc. I work in a factory, this is a breeding ground for affairs. I have seen some pretty creative ways of letting the spouse know of the affair. Even if they didnt believe it at the time, the seed was planted. I feel so close to just letting this all go. Just a few nagging thoughts. Thanks for the advise and for listening.