Update- What does this mean?

i hate to say this he doesnt give a shit about you or baby all he feel.s he has lost control, who call,s police on mother and 4month baby , this man is a shit he will never do right by baby or you. he will wander in and out of the baby,s life, making them so insucure, and they dont give a toss. good luck.

Not to mention what the hormones are doing to your emotions this soon after having a baby. One thing I do remember from 20 yrs ago was the absolute need to protect that baby cub. I hope you have some family or friends or other support for you at this time. It is an incredibly difficult time otherwise. And I can understand how much you wish things could be different. But I agree with all the others, don't trade today's difficulty for a lifetime of horror. One place that saved me, even tho I had a husband, was the Parent's day out/preschool program in a church in my neighborhood. It turned out to be the greatest extended family for me and both my children. I met some of my dearest friends for life there, even now, 20 yrs later. Start looking for such a place in your neighborhood now. You may have to wait until the baby is 6 mos. but you want a place that 'hangs out' on the playground after pickup. That offers friendship and family over daycare. Sorry if this is not your situation but I hope at least the idea is possible. My heart is with you. My youngest has just moved out to start college and I'm feeling pretty emotional on the children front. It never ends. This little preschool/parent's day out program was one of the best things I ever did for both my children and myself. Just today, my son was telling me all the joy he had brought in my life as to why I needed to trade my new laptop for his old laptop and finally I said 'I gave you Ms. Pat'. He didn't say another word except a few disparaging things about his younger sister. My thoughts are with you. Your N will never let you enjoy your child as you should be able to. I can promise you that.

I know a woman who was in your position. So much wanted a father for her baby. Now, three years later, her life is a NIGHTMARE. All his demands to see HIS child, phone calls, e-mails--endless harassment. And he's already saying awful things about her to the child which even a toddler reports to mom immediately. There is no family with these guys. It's all about them & controlling you & the baby. Please, take the baby & run. Make a nice life for yourself & the child. Once he gets his claws into the child, it's all over. I am a firm believer in child support. But with these guys, I'd say forget it so that one can forgo the visitation which will be part of any court order. If he has to pay, then he will want to visit. No pay then he will go away forever.

I am so glad your back pebblez. You can not have any contact with him to include responding to his emails. But you know this hun. You know in your heart what you must do. Your fears are driving you to stay in a situation that will never change. How many times will you fall for the angel when tomorrow he will show you Lucifer again. You know its coming. Your in a vicious cycle. Only you have the power to stop. 1. Go no contact. No phone calls, text, emails, contact with his friends, or family. there is no exceptions to this. 2. Stick to the board. Ask lots of questions. Make a lot of post. READ READ READ everything you can get your hands on. If you need help off the board contact us and we will help you. Stay strong. Im so happy to see you back.....xoxoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

My exHN said the exact same words. If you will please come back i promise on my life you will never regret it, you'll see a man you've never seen, I'll be all you ever wanted in a man, look what you're doing to our family, how can you put our "baby" through this. Well I divorced him once and he said the exact same stuff, I fell for his pleas and came back after 3 years, had a child with him(before I wouldn't because I knew it was a dysfunctional situation) and bam there was the Narc the very minute I said I'm pregnant. So I struggled with letting go from that moment. The 9 months of pregnancy was horrible. I honestly was so worried about my baby because I was a nervous wreck all the time and her heart rate was always high(no wonder so was mine). We went out to eat 1 day after a OBGYN visit and saw one of his former chicks on a stick and I kept my head turned the other way for fear of gettting in trouble for looking so sure enough he chewed me out for making a scene. I was like what kind the kind where I didn't look and she got mad? Anyway my children(1 from a former relationship) deserved a Narc free life. I spent 2 years after I child was born breaking free and when I paid the lawyer for the divorce I said, NO TURNING BACK. Ironically it wasn't until he got papers that he started begging. He never believed I would walk away. But of course it's all my fault. I'm the trash etc. I told him fine I will take that just so long as you're gone! It doesn't change. It's abuse and they are skilled at it. It's hard to believe that. Mine was a cop and he wouldn't hit me---I wish he would've. To the public he's the most awsome person. You know, and that 4 month old child will grow up all too fast. For me I spent a lot of time dodging his attacks and missed too much of my baby. Wouldn't do it again for anything.

Honey of course you want to save your family. It's not going to happen. Ns are ONLY in it for themselves. Look at your baby. think only of your baby and what's best for them. A N in their life is not good. You are in an especially hard place right now. You have a new baby and want to be a family. It's apparent he doesn't acknowledge your child...just by calling them "the baby". I wonder what he'll call them when they're not a baby anymore.

Honey of course you want to save your family. It's not going to happen. Ns are ONLY in it for themselves. Look at your baby. think only of your baby and what's best for them. A N in their life is not good. but take his money to help you and "the baby"!!! You are in an especially hard place right now. You have a new baby and want to be a family. It's apparent he doesn't acknowledge your child...just by calling them "the baby". I wonder what he'll call them when they're not a baby anymore. do you have a son or daughter? Ns messages seem sincere but your heart is telling you he's not good for your health...listen to it. protect your child.