Update

After thinking he had forced NC onto me I went through devastation, it a PAYG phone. Then on realising it was just out of credit I felt a feeling of elation. He wants to meet me but I feel I cant. I explained that although the banter at times was fun I felt he was emotionally cold. This was on text.

He then phoned me and said you diss my business diss my wife and expect me to just say hi everything is ok. And put the phone down.

I text and said I didnt diss your business I have every admiration for your achievements.

And my point about your wife was you let me to believe she is a (UK) size 8 and looks like a model and fed me a lie. So I reacted. I may as well be honest here and say I was pretty bad when he told me he was back sleeping with her ( having given me the impression he no longer loved her and was leaving). I had supported him when she told him he was shit in bed you see so it upset me. What I actually said on finding out was horrible I know.. I said so you still clamber up onto the fat mountain even though she thinks you are shit in bed, I would have much more respect than to sleep with anyone who said that to me married or not and would rather have a wank.

Me and my mouth :)

Anyway so now he is ignoring me again, I told him I wanted to feel wanted and to feel special, he replied maybe you just havent found that side yet. That yes he has lots of feelings but I just drive him crazy.

Guess I am just looking for some thoughts to help me out of the fog..I have tries to be hones and not paint myself as a saint, I do have a whiplash of a tongue at times x