The Unvarnished Truth

14 posts / 0 new

#1 Sep 10 - 8AM

better off

The Unvarnished Truth

Hi all... I have been away from the board lately, just really busy with life.. and much of the time at this stage in my recovery I just don't want to spend my time thinking about narcs. Too many other great or just normal things to do and think about. :-)

But this morning I read this list, and laughed out loud. John Mayer is the official poster boy for narcissism to me because this freak will say OUT LOUD the stuff these nuts think inside their heads.

This is the Top 15 Douchiest Quotes by John Mayer

http://www.ranker.com/list/the-15-douchiest-john-mayer-quotes/stupid-cel...

I think my favorite would have to be number 4:
â€œSometimes I wish that I was the weather, you'd bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day.â€

And this is my pick for loveofmylife, number 14:
What Mayer says he craves the most is to settle down with the right woman: "I'll be happy when I close out this life-partner thing," he says. "Think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person."

doncha love how he refers to it as "closing out this life partner thing" like it's buying a time share or something?

Hope this made somebody laugh this morning!

#2 Sep 11 - 12AM

betty2020

Hahaha, Your so funny

Hahaha, Your so funny Better Off. I have really missed you, Hope you dont stay gone to long again. Your humor is pricless!! only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

#3 Sep 11 - 12AM

loveofmylife

#14

Yes, thank you for the dedication of #14. A few days ago I was thinking about this...and it just made my head spin. How could he have had so many intense relationships all going on at the same time?????? Like you said "think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person". How can a person have SIX relationships all at the same time, and all pretty intense and committed???? Alot of us have talked about how our narcs bragged about their ability to compartmentalize. But this is compartmentalization to the point of being schizo almost. The ability to carry on 6 "monogamous" relationships all at the same time....but somehow not see anything wrong with it because they were all compartmentalized and they were all slightly different in nature....so I guess this means that there were no conflicts, right? And he didn't actually promise anyone he was committed to them, everyone had an open door, so there are no issues there, right? It tires me out just to think about it... I'm pretty sure that when I was paying him to work 8 hours/day that probably 3 of those hours were spent trolling and developing new supply...there is no way he could have done all of this otherwise. I WANT A REFUND!!!! :)

#4 Sep 11 - 2PM (Reply to #12)

Meadowbrook

Re: owing refunds

Your post reminds me about how my N spent a TON of his time in the office "trolling and developing new supply" and maintaining current supply. We worked together and he always got to the office at 7 a.m. I tracked down one of his "others" this summer and she and I compared notes. One of the first things she asked me was, "how does he ever get any work done?" She said they were on the phone almost every day 1 1/2 hours in the morning, then again at lunchtime and late in the day and on his commute home. It's amazing to think he was in touch with her that much and then with me all the time too! I now know there was at least a third one in Europe and I'm pretty sure they were on Skype from the office as well. My job was working with his department and I remember being frustrated that he was so uninvolved. He was a good "strategic thinker" but never seemed to actually do much of the work himself. Now I realize he was otherwise "engaged"!!! Unbelievable.

#5 Sep 11 - 11AM (Reply to #8)

better off

It IS almost like being

It IS almost like being schizo... they are CRAZY. I think it's hard to really get in our minds that these people are truly personality DISORDERED. It's not like they are just annoying or something. They are crazy. Only they appear to be normal. In each relationship they can appear to be somewhat normal (but not really when you analyze it), but as you said they can have six going at once, where they tell each person the same things. THEY ARE BROKEN!!!! The cover of Scientific American is about psychopaths this month. It says "Why doesn't he care? He can't." Their brains are NOT NOT NOT like ours. They have brain damage. Seriously. How it happens, I don't know or care, but the bottom line is this person has a disordered BRAIN and no amount of hope or love or anything else can change that. Personally, what I will never understand is why they like PRETENDING to have relationships. You think they'd just be loners then and not spend so much effort PRETENDING to be these great loves. It's bizarre. But then again, I'm not crazy... so why should I be able to understand it?

#6 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #10)

better off

refunds

And yeah, you DO deserve a refund... how much of your dime did he spend on that crap? Jerk. And I still think yours is a massive sadist, making sure he had his chemistry.com lunch dates right in your face. This thread reminded me of the times when mine was hard to reach or unavailable, he'd apologize for "neglecting his sweetheart" but he'd usually say he had gotten "distracted" or that he "had a lot on his plate." Whatever. He didn't work, and he had a maid and a nanny. I'm sure he was quite "distracted" by his extracurricular activities, of which I was only one. Of course, then there were the other times when he tried to play "international man of mystery" like when he said he was leaving a forum behind for a while (and me) because he had to focus inward or some such shit and it turned out he was really just taking the time to stain his deck.

#7 Sep 11 - 7PM (Reply to #11)

loveofmylife

The sadist

I agree.... that takes alot of nerve to be luring women on chemistry.com at work and to leave work and meet them for dates.... one time, he came into my office, shut my door, flirted with me ALOT, smiling and laughing and putting on his chapstick (which I always thought was his subconscious sexual signal to me) and then he left my office and disappeared! Couldn't find him for about an hour... so I went to the restaurant next door to get a coffee to bring back to the office and he was on a DATE! The bastard...he came into my office and flirted with me like that right before going on a date. He is seriously messed up. I think he believes that he is god's gift to women and he just needs to share himself with everyone to keep the women of the world happy. He could have gone on his little dates after work for happy hour or near his house... For him to leave work to have these dates with me right there was either some weird kind of thrill seeking thing to see what he could get away with or he was trying to turn that knife in my back just to show me how much he doesn't care.

#8 Sep 11 - 11AM (Reply to #9)

better off

Here's a link.. the whole

Here's a link.. the whole article is not available, but a few paragraphs are. Interesting bullet point that some of their brain deficiencies can be noticeable by age five. Anyway, ladies (and men), they really will NOT change. As I've posted before... you can't expect a retarded person to get a normal IQ if you just love them enough. http://www.scientificamerican.com/sciammind/ Also, I take incredible issue with the teaser lines that say psychopaths aren't bad, they just have brain abnormalities. Sorry, but their abnormalities make them bad. WTF does "bad" even mean?? They KNOW what they do is wrong and they do it.

#9 Sep 11 - 12AM (Reply to #5)

almostlydia

I could never figure how the

I could never figure how the exN kept so many going at one time as well. When I called one of them, she broke down in tears saying he had been seeing her once or twice a week for 6 yrs. I had nightmares after this. Because I had access to his cell phone acct I could see he had at least 6 others going at the same time. No wonder he was so tired all the time. It is beyond comprehension how someone can swear their love to you day after day while they are working a half dozen others at the same time. All I know is he will never have me again and having seen the others, that is punishment enough:) almostlydia

almostlydia

#10 Sep 11 - 1AM (Reply to #6)

almostlydia

Have missed you here too,

Have missed you here too, betteroff. Hope all is well and you are finding your way back. almostlydia

almostlydia

#11 Sep 11 - 11AM (Reply to #7)

better off

thx :)

#12 Sep 10 - 11AM

anonymous

I always wondered why I hate John Mayer songs

I don't follow pop culture much but had heard of this dude and put a couple of his songs on my iPod. I could never figure out the fuss and couldn't get into the songs much. Well ... now I know why. Excuse me while I go do some maintenance on my iTunes account and delete unwanted garbage. =)

#13 Sep 10 - 9AM

Used

mayer

it made me smile, what a tosser.

#14 Sep 11 - 1AM (Reply to #2)

STSwiss

LOL

I don't know who this guy is .....but that's hilarious! Thanks for sharing! Web Of Lies - My Life with a Narcissist An honest and emotional account of life with a pathological partner. http://singlemumsal.blogspot.com/ http://www.sarahtateauthor.com/

Web Of Lies - My Life with a Narcissist
http://www.sarahtateauthor.com/
http://singlemumsal.blogspot.com/

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