Understanding CD

I don't admit to being the brightest bulb in the box, some days LOL.....reading so much about N in the last 6 months, all the medical mumbo jumbo, it's hard to understand some of it.
CD, would this be like "pushing everything under the rug" kinda feeling?
I was awesome at doing that! After a gaslighting episode, I'd stew, think, pace, then let go to preserve what sanity I had left. He would piss me off with his I'm better and know more than you, come up with a lame excuse as to why he's better and I'd "sweep" it away, because the longer I sit and stew about something, the quicker I will not be able to function.