Uncontrollable Crying.

8 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Sep 4 - 10AM
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

Uncontrollable Crying.

Its been 3 months NO CONTACT. I hate him, a lot. But the fact he is running around soooo happy and doing all the things I asked him to do. Its sickening. Not to mention I ran into a friend of his and he went back and told him he seen me and then a bunch of lies to follow. Only reason I know this is he called a mutual friend of ours and said, he didnt know I was such a douche and all over the place. He is all over facebook posting stupid status - he does anything for attention. I know this as we have NUMEROUS mutual friends. I cant stop crying today, he has moved along like nothing, and im stuck in a web of jealously and hate. Its the fact that I never got to tell him what an ahole he is, we just stopped talking. I know this is for the best and I will NEVER call him again.
But he has some nerve calling my friends asking what I was doing out having drinks. I thought that was none of his business anymore. And Im sick to death of all the dirtbags he sleeps with and the fact they think hes great, I want to spit in his face. Harsh but true - back to my bed to cry.

Thanks for the vent.

Sep 6 - 5PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

What he did was an indirect

What he did was an indirect Hoover! Worked didn't it! When friends are involved tell them you don't want to hear or talk about asshaft! Block him on FB! You will not get the closure you are looking for! I'm sorry for that! Ignorance is Bliss Hunter
Sep 6 - 4PM
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

Hardest time...

I am having the hardest time these days. He has just moved along, dating other people, partying...doing work around his home. From the outside living a great life. Why am I jealous, I know what a loser he is. NOT to mention the incredibly low self-esteem he has, its crazy how when you take a good look you can really see it. Sleeping with anyone for attention is obviously pathetic. I dont know why, I seem to know all the answers still remained baffled. I wish we never met. I really do.
Sep 4 - 6PM
Journey
Journey's picture

Crying is good for us, being

Crying is good for us, being with a narc isn't. Crying is healing, caring about a what narc thinks isn't. Crying is cathartic, watching what a narc is doing damages. Crying is healthy, narcs are sick. Retrain your brain to KNOW he isn't really happy - narcs don't ever feel truly happy. Stop yourself from looking into his life - nothing he puts out there is authentic. Narcs are shallow, selfish, self aggrandizing, egotistical reptilian cowards! I know its hard not to look, but vital! No contact!

Journey on...

Sep 4 - 2PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Whatever , although it may

Whatever , although it may not seem it now crying is how we heal , thoses days when the tears wont stop are the days we are doing the most heaing , every tear is a bit more of the psychopaths poison leaving your body , just let them fall , they will stop when they are ready . Dark glasses and tissues time . Big love and well done on 3 months NC , you rock .. xx
Sep 4 - 11AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Whatever 2009

Cry, get it all out, until you have no tears left. Cleanse your body of the venom he has injected into you. As far as what he is doing, running around, bad mouthing you to friends, etc..........think about it, he is making an ass of himself, while you are carrying yourself with dignity and grace. People see it, and they will see him for what he is worth. All of that is irrelevant though in your healing. Nothing he says or does at this point matters. Yes, he is an asshole...............leave him to someone else to have to contend with. Glad you are NC and staying that way, it is the ONLY way. Take Sandra Bullock and Jesse James for instance..........do you see her running around opening her big mouth, smearing him? NOPE...............now let's take measure of that. Everyone on this planet respects her and wishes her well, and as Jesse says, "he is the most hated man in the world". Keep your standards, leave him to his. You are the better person and will continue to always be. Stay strong today and always........... After your good cry, take a nice long shower and treat yourself to something nice, make today your day, about you. We are here for you!
Sep 7 - 11PM (Reply to #3)
How could I
How could I's picture

Oh Sparrow...

Oh Sparrow .....wish I had no tears left. I'm so tired of crying all the time. As much as I know in my mind that I could never marry this man, my heart is breaking at the life I thought I was going to have with him. I was so strong today when I spoke to him. Things he would say made me realize that he is not right! He did not talk like a man that really loved me. However, now that I just found out that he will not be in the office til late tomorrow, my mind started racing. I just know he is going to spend the morning with the OW. I made the mistake of asking why he was going to be late. I am sure the reason he gave me is another lie. I know that I cannot go through my life with a man that I constantly feel the need to play detective to. However, I can't get him out of my mind. His gentleness, his smile, his laughter. I feel like such a failure. Feel like she won and I lost even though i know he is not a prize worth winning. I don't want him, but I don't want her to have him either.
Sep 4 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
Swan
Swan's picture

whatever2009

Yes, I agree with Sparrow. You don't have to announce to the world what a $%^& he is because sooner or later HE will and everyone will know who he truly is. In the meantime, keep your head held high and walk with dignity and pride. Take care of you!! :-)