Is this typical?

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jan 28 - 11AM
Steph
Steph's picture

Is this typical?

I'm just thinking back over alot of things that happened in my one year relationship. i remember him telling me he loved lingerie (on girls lol). so i went out and bought some. the first time i wore some....he complimented me but then couldn't "finish". that was a first for us. the next times we had sex were without me initiating anything and no lingerie. then when i tried the lingerie again, same thing, he said he just didn't have a sex drive lately....which can happen. then we went several weeks without sex....which also can happen....and he said he felt bad.
Maybe i'm reading too much into that, but i'm wonering if that was a subtle way to make me feel unnattractive or something?

Jan 28 - 1PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

classic

this is called Madonna Whore syndrome - Lisa & I did a BlogTalkRadio show on it - link in the right column. it's VERY typical. http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2008/05/28/are-narcissists-warped-sexually ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 28 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

That was my thought too. He

That was my thought too. He couldn't have you be both his mother and his whore! He meant he loved lingerie on whores, right? I had a really high sex drive while pregnant and oh boy was that NOT NOT NOT allowed. Made me feel terrible and dirty. BTW mine loves lingerie too, and strappy pointy shoes. The thing is, though, not necessarily on me. That wasn't really important. He just liked to have it AROUND. He would put a skirt out and arrange it artistically, put the shoes on top, and take pictures of it...this was SUPER important to him. Last time I saw his closet he had like 6 pairs of high heeled ridiculous "come *f* me" shoes. Not in his size, mind you - just to HAVE.
Jan 28 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
Steph
Steph's picture

there was periods though

there was periods though where he was attracted/turned on by me, as long as he initiated it. kinda seems to me with mine, he just didn't want ME to initiate anything. if i tried to do something sexy ( lingerie, a sexy pic) he didn't really respond....compliment it, but not turned on. actually, i think it was always him to initiate throughout the relationship because whenever I tried, it was unsuccessful so i stopped. is that part of the Madonna/whore complex too? they can show sexual attraction to you but on their terms....if you try....they don't resond?
Jan 28 - 8PM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

its definitely THEM not you

yup - BIG part of the rollercoastering with a Narc AND the Madonna/Whore complex http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim/2009/07/23/the-narcissists-madonnawhore-complex and please keep reading through ALL the message board pages - you will see PLENTY of topics that cover this one over & over ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 28 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
Ellen
Ellen's picture

cerebral narcs

Hi Dont't the cerebral narcs like to withhold sex to make you frustrated.
Jan 28 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
4joys4
4joys4's picture

If it made you feel

If it made you feel unattractive or uncomfortable, chances are good that's what he meant you to feel.