Trust

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#1 Jul 25 - 11PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Trust

Lisa,

I do want to support this board but really I feel I can't! I do hope you get this issuer resolved. But for now I now longer will support this site. Sorry but I do have my reasons.

Barbara, Stay the fuck away from me!!!! Lisa's told me all about you.

And those who would support a bitch like you...

DITTO!!!!

Jul 26 - 3PM
WantMyLifeBack
WantMyLifeBack's picture

I also have to agree that

I also have to agree that while what these people are doing is inexcusable that we should all be more cognizant of how we address these idiots (because that's what they are). I think they want the people who are new to this site to come here and say "Oh these people are CUH-RAZ-ZEE and "scare" people away from the site, there by undermining it. So to any new people here please realize that everyone here is WONDERFUL SMART AND STRONG...and you're in the right place. I know I am...
Jul 26 - 3PM
WantMyLifeBack
WantMyLifeBack's picture

Suggestion...

Just like the narcs we've all dealt with it seems like the former moderator and her crew are very adept at making themselves out to be the victim while trying to bash or smear others. Maybe those who are in contact with James or others that experience any online bullying or see any posts that resemble online bullying from these people can record them, save messages, take screen shots of posts or bookmark them. But basically do what we all talk about here - and that's keep a record of their behavior to expose them or at least have leverage so they will stop. Or maybe even so Lisa would have something to present to her attorney (I think I remember her saying she has one?) Its so sad that this person has the EXACT TRAITS of a wounded narcissist and is following their script to a tee. But getting emotional is just playing into their game. I'm SO SORRY James and anyone else is affected by this. I do a lot more reading than posting on this page but I think one of the things she's trying to do is make people here out to be lunatics by trying to get a certain response so she can say "See I told you they were all crazy" (sound familiar??)
Jul 26 - 1PM
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

WTF!!

Y r we giving this woman so much power?? Just ignore the ignorance and the evil that distracts us from where we want to be!! James I hope ur feeling better

smileyfacepr

Jul 26 - 3PM (Reply to #12)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Why do we give the Narcs in

Why do we give the Narcs in our lives so much power? But we do, that's why we end up here! I hope it's OK to say that I don't see much difference in what James is going through and what the rest of us go through with our N relationships. This is what other people told US when we sought validation for our relationships with Narcs. "WHy are you giving him so much power? Just get over it!!" No offense to you either, Smiley!! I agree with you! I'm just trying to see it from James' point of view. He's the one being harassed. We don't know what is happening, and we shouldn't tell him what to feel.
Jul 26 - 6PM (Reply to #13)
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

Briseis

None taken...My question is not for the situation w/our narcs,we all know why we r here..its because everyone keeps saying NO MORE DRAMA and goes on and on, I would never tell anyone what they should feel!! Im just saying if someone contacts u that u dont want contacting u dont respond ,ignore it and I dont want to mention names..thats all!! xoxo

smileyfacepr

Jul 26 - 1PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Obviously you have a right to share your feelings

Hi James, I do not know you and while I appreciate your need and right to share your feelings, please be mindful that there are many new people on this site who are in a trememdous amount of pain and need this lifeline. My plea to all of us is to please stop using this board as a personal airing of dirty laundry separate from what it was intended. This type of hurt and apparent fear needs to be discussed privately, not in an open forum. Betty has made it clear that she is available to discuss these things privately. I am delighted that we have her as our new moderator. Please all of us, be mindful that new people coming to this site for help have no idea about all of this old stuff and if airing this drama on here means that one person coming to this site for help leaves and gets hurt by this than shame on us. Please all of us let's stop responding to this, move on, help Lisa and Betty with the new program and be here for the recovery process and let sleeping dogs lie. I for one, will not be responding to anymore of these types of comments. I will only respond to the topics at hand. This site is a beautiful, loving, refuge and gift from God in my eyes and I will not participate in anything that detracts from this goal. God bless, Goldie
Jul 26 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

I do think extending support

I do think extending support to those who are being harrassed is important validation that they need. It is awful to be harrassed. It is frightening and upsetting. I am not sure that James's harrassment is anything different than the daily harrassment we experienced from our Narcs. The only difference I see is that the harrasser is someone we all know and are trying to move beyond. We can't leave people like James behind as a casualty because she has her claws in him. That said, I hope James takes Betty up on her offer and gets her support. His situation is not a "distraction", IMHO. What he wrote is pretty understandable. It is disruptive because HE is being disrupted. I doubt he would have written it here if he didn't hope there was some good to come out of it for him. A cry for help is a cry for help, and sometimes the cries aren't particularly . . .artful, or "appropriate" or "on topic". We'll be able to put it behind us when it is behind us. No offense Goldie, AT ALL :( . I hear you too are very distressed by this. But it is happening to members of our community, and the least we can do is bear witness and support James and listen to him.
Jul 26 - 12PM
Amy
Amy's picture

ummmm....

That seemed a little random and angry. I am really not sure what happened to you specifically- but no one seems to be using the B word anymore and the new moderator is doing a wonderful job. This was a very dramatic post, and in my opinion, hurtful to Lisa and the new moderator. Just my $.02
Jul 26 - 10AM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

James. Would you please

James. Would you please contact me at [email protected].... I would really like to talk about what happened. xoxoxoox only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Jul 26 - 9AM
calamity-g
calamity-g's picture

Trust? what in the world has happened on this site?

What in the world has happened around here? I saw there were problems but this site, well, what has happened to cause so much strife? ~~~~~~~~ My Blog

~~~~~~~~
My Blog

Jul 26 - 6AM
Bodhi
Bodhi's picture

James

I in no way support the person we are no longer supposed to talk about... but your post offended me. This is a support Forum for survivors of narcissistic relationships and I think its completely inappropriate to use it for your own personal use like you have done here. If you have a message to send to Lisa, you should send it to her privately. Your cryptic message only adds to the drama.
Jul 26 - 6AM
masquerades (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Response

Hi James, I hope you are fine. Your last sentence of your post really affected me…I felt your comment could have been directed at me as I, several weeks back when this issue started on this board, had (in a private email) wished Barbara well. I’d like the chance to respond re. “…and those who would support a bitch like you…” James do you REALLY know if Lisa is telling the truth? Have you checked? Has she checked for SURE that it was Barbara who contacted her work; or someone IMITATING Barbara. Some of us have been harassed by some person pretending to be Barbara... I checked and found out it wasn't her at all! I don’t want to go into too much detail but will admit that I didn’t exactly follow the drama as it unfolded (and which appears to be ongoing???), and my position remains the same – I don’t really know what’s going on and I don’t care to find out. So the point of this message is to inform everyone that I am distancing myself from all, and I retract any comments I may have made to Lisa in private or on the Vain Forum board in support of either, as well as all opinions and stories relating to my relationship with the narcissist ex-husband or others in my life. It is nothing personal – I need to do this for my own emotional well being. There has been a lot of hurt and trauma over the past year and a half especially and I’ve wanted to trust and learn, but my experiences on this board has at times left me feeling embarrassed, I’ve felt I’ve had to defend myself, and my confused state was heightened. The treatment of Barbara was strange because no proof was ever offered other than people's "words." We just kept hearing this or that from Lisa. Isn't this what our Narcissists do? I feel I’ve disclosed far too much personal information (I wish I hadn’t) and I kindly ask Lisa that any posts I’ve written and any replies I’ve posted be marked as being written by Anonymous, if they cannot be deleted (which would be first prize), and my membership be withdrawn. I wish everyone well. I do not want any enemies, and I hope that everybody reading this will appreciate and respect my feelings. I want to disentangle myself from things that hurt me and I just want to live a simple good life – one in which I know I’m being true and kind to myself. Best regards. Ps. The last word - NO CONTACT REALLY DOES WORK.
Jul 26 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

Masquerades

I respect ur decision but really wish u would not leave!! We can still make the forum whats its supposed to be, what we came here for..all we have to do is ignore ignorance!! xoxoxo Whatever u choose I suport u!!

smileyfacepr

Jul 26 - 5AM
awayfromhim
awayfromhim's picture

James

James - if you could share just a brief synopsis of what happened, it may help other members on the board understand. No need to mention names, etc., just what is going on so others here may know if they need to protect themselves.
Jul 26 - 3AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

James

James! whats happened ? Dont leave !what ever is the problem it can be sorted , Youre post help me sooo much over the year , thats what is important helping people ... You and my dad are the only men in the world i trust right now ...please dont leave here ! I hope youre post was writen in anger at the moment it must have been pretty late in the states , maybe it wont look so bad in the morning . You have delt with a narc before and manged to keep youre children safe , this is small fry compared to that . XXX