Tricked into breaking NC..........

Hello, happy Thanksgiving Eve everyone.........I have a question. I'm pretty sure I already KNOW the answer but asking for another opinion certainly doesn't hurt. Yesterday I had posted how my X disordered/narc/whatever the F he is got a hold of my daughter's iPhone and started texting me through my iPad. I also admitted that I was STUPID and shouldn't have responded. And initially I did respond, arguing with a moron but finally just stopped and left it go. The X did text several more times but I just remained NC. I was worried that I would start reeling again but luckily, I didn't. I had made a couple calls to some very supportive and understanding friends and just called it a night. The texts finally stopped and I thought it was OVER.........boy was I wrong!

When I woke up today I was relieved to find NO more texts!! Whew. So I go about my day and somewhere early this afternoon I get a call........from what popped up on my caller id as my daughter, it totally wasn't. When I answer the phone and hear it's him, I decide to put my "newly recovered strength" to the test because I've become so numb and I different to his PAST nonesense, and I believe that 5 or so weeks NC had done me a world of good stripping my body/mind & soul of his icky-ness. So I remain calm because I would hate to have to cut my daughter off out of FEAR that it might be HIM.........I remained calm and and asked him why he was calling on my daughter's phone. What was so urgent/important that he just HAD to get in touch with me.

He starts off by telling me that he "didn't call to upset me or piss me off" but that he wanted to tell me that he "misses my smile and my laugh". I didn't interrupt, I let him get it all out. He continues to tell me that he "misses me, loves me, still cares about me" and he "HATES the fact that he still loves me". I sat rolling my eyes and think I might have thrown up in my mouth a little because after the D&D, I would have KILLED to hear those words from him instead of the cruelty I received but now, not so much. For a second, he ALMOST sounded remorseful.........or at least he was really good at faking sounding that way. So anyway, I didn't respond and he finally said, "don't you have anything to say"? I said, "yes, please don't worry at ALL about my smile and laugh because they're doing just fine since I left the relationship". There was a long pause but when he DID finally speak (just asking was that all I had to say) I could hear something strange in his voice. He seemed a little bent that I didn't reciprocate his "feelings".........but I really had no desire to!! Not to mention the fact that every time Capt Stupid tries pounding me with nonesense, it having the opposite effect of what he might be after because it's pushing me away, NOT reeling me in!! Maybe one or two more incidents and he'll vanish completely!! Hey, one can dream!

So I asked him was that everything.........huge mistake. All of a sudden he switched gears, one sentence would be along the lines of, he has "lost faith that we could be together" (this sounded kind of more current then past to me) then the very next would be, "he tried and tried but nothing was good enough for me" then back to how he "misses how we were" again. He DID actually admit to me that we were "just 2 different people with different family values and I should have just accepted the things in his life he wasn't willing to give up" (referring to the mama boundaries I had BEGGED for). I can't honestly say whether this admission was deliberate, an accident or if he was once again just trying to tell me what he thought i wanted to hear. Finally after all was said and done, what it boiled down to was the fact that he "couldn't understand why we can't be friends like me and my ex husband were".............I told him he's got plenty and I had to go and hung up.

After I got off the phone I took a deep breath and thought to myself..........REALLY!?!?!? I wouldn't even want enemies like that?? So I guess this is considered "classic hoovering"?? I've read a lot about their tricks/tactics and I know their brains do NOT work on normal, functioning levels, but if I made him "so miserable", why does he want me to be his friend?? I wouldn't want someone who made me as miserable as he says I made him as an enemy let alone a "friend". He has PLENTY of people to stroke his ego........I know he doesn't "need" me in the same capacity that I need my friends. Do they believe in their minds that enough is NEVER enough??

After these couple of questions crossed my mind, I couldn't help but laugh because even after everything I've read about what others have experienced, I just really was like wow, what a twisted shit he is!! The good news is, I'm still not upset about it........I'm still indifferent, numb and resigned to remain NC but the bad news is, now I feel like I will have to cut my daughter off just to avoid being irritated by HIM in the future. She just doesn't realize that she's sort of allowing him to keep emotionally abusing me. Not only that, but since she decided to stay living with him and since the phone actually belongs to HIM, if he asks for it or just takes it from her there's really nothing she can do about it. I was in the same position when he first discarded me. I had a phone that was on HIS plan and needed it until my new phone/number arrived.......once it did, his phone was turned off and left off!!

So, I just figured I'd post about my bizarre day............I hope everyone else had a better day and a good holiday tomorrow!!