Triangulation

I remember when i was where you are in the early days of NC , it kind of felt that i had no controle of my feelings and actions , in short i was at the complete mercy of my narcs whimms .. not a good place to be , and very scary . Youre narc has set it up to be that way and you are in the middel of psycopathic controle . What he did to get you to this place is not a mystical power , love or passion nooooo its all chemical and its not hard to do if you have no consience , basicly at the begining of the realtionship he "loved bombed " which causes all youre endorphines to go into over drive and you feel as high as a kyte , and you then become relient on him for that feeling and he knows it so what the narc dose is to slowly withdraw the love bombing and down you go like a lead balloon , but the narc dosent just leave when you are down he will poke you with love bombing maintenance every now and again to make sure you dont leave and you end up with all youre chemicals all over the place and you dont know if you are comming or going and when you feel like that the narc is rubbing his psychopathic hands with glee . Take hypnosis right .. we have all seen the stage shows where the hypnotist makes a person eat an onion and think its an apple ... we could all learn how to do that if we wanted to become a stage hypnotis , i could go out tommorrow and learn how to hypnotise someone , it is a method to learn a bit like driving a fork lift truck or making choux pastry .. there is nothing mystical about it ... What the narc dose is learn very basic forms of pscological controle and he uses them with no consience (coz he hasnt got one) The minute you take the "love " out of the equation and look at what the narc dose with cold logic it looses its mystic .. not over night my goodness it takes time and the reason no contact DOSE WORK is because you cut the little psychopathic con man in his tracks , he can not access youre strings anymore and you heal .. im living proof of that .. Go back on the board and read my posts from over a year ago , its all there , from the times i couldnt get off the sofa ,to crying infrount of the computer worrying i was going to electrocute myself ... read Michelles posts where she couldnt talk for a month when she split with her psychopath .. Keep close to the board .. you will come out of this .. Big love Scoop x

I too - experienced the highs and lows.. he would usually use time with his mom against me - that is a whole other issue - If you don't have children - run away- Do you have a "sponser" you can text me if you need to chat with him. I get why you got sucked in because you were feeling low. Do get therapy- womens shelters have free therapists usually and other resouces for you as well. It will stop the running criticisms in your head from all the crazy making that he has put you through. Do not give him that power. Driving by is not healthy! Don't do it! Take a walk- (obviously once your foot heals) or pick up a fun hobby - You are probably smart, successful and attractive just keep hearing stupid unlovable and sucker from him. He is all three of those things and DOES NOT deserve you -

...you are choosing to feel this way. Please make another choice. Please CHOOSE YOU! Re-read what you wrote. It is disgusting. A person who cares about you DOES NOT BEHAVE THIS WAY. Go back to NC. When he texts, ignore it. That will bring you more of what you seek than chasing this loser, liar and manipulator. It truly disgusts me to think that this "person" is treating you this way and that you still "want it." Please consider looking into why you think it's okay to be lied to, put on the back burner, treated like you do not matter one bit...That's not healthy, braveheart. I hope this doesn't sound mean or cruel. I WANT YOU TO SEE THE TRUTH OF THIS! This guy will keep doing exactly what he's doing...there is no magic pill he will swallow that will suddenly make him treat you differently. HE DOES IT BECAUSE HE CAN!!! And you keep going back for more. Consider how you feel right now. We are not meant to feel so miserable and confused. God, Buddha, Allah, our inner spirits, whoever you believe in, DOES NOT WANT US TO FEEL BAD. Life is a precious gift to be relished and embraced and an opportunity to spread our gifts, our goodness and light to the world and to the REAL PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT US!! D, my heart is breaking for you because I truly know your pain. It is deep and gut-wrenching, but you are choosing to continue to hurt yourself. Please stop. It is possible. I am here to tell you that at almost 7 months NC. At some point in the process, I chose myself. I chose to let go and stop dwelling on him. Stop trying to figure it out. Start accepting that it is what it is and it was slowly KILLING ME! Since then, things in my life have gotten better than I could have ever imagined...Please, D., give yourself a chance. I know the broken leg isn't helping but that's temporary. Try to shift the focus onto what it is exactly that you think you are gaining from chasing a not-very-nice person who treats you poorly, lies to you and goes out with other women? Here's what you are missing: NOTHING! HE WON'T CHANGE. IT WILL ALWAYS BE THIS; THIS FEELING OF LONGING, CONFUSION, CRYING, PAIN. He will not change. It will not change! I know this because I WASTED SIX YEARS WHERE YOU ARE. It wasn't until total and complete NC and living through the pain of it and letting go and shifting the focus to ME that things changed FOR THE MUCH BETTER! You deserve better too, my dear D. I want you to feel better! I am sorry for making this so long. I want to support you today because I can tell by your posts that you are back on the rollercoaster and the ride isn't fun. Please know you can get over this 'person.' You just have to get off the ride. Love and hugs and good vibes for peace of mind and strength from, (not) spinning. NO LONGER AN OPTION. THE BEAST IS DEAD. HE NEVER REALLY EXISTED.

db, don't you think you deserve better than that? I am telling you, the empowerment of walking away is so great. I understand the deep feelings, I really do, but how much more can you take? I'm sorry I don't know your full story, but do you see a therapist? For me, seeing one gave me the strength to leave and know I was going to be just fine.......and guess what? I am. I'm alive and have so much more than I ever realized. Why compromise yourself by keeping in touch with him? To get what? A crazy rollercoaster ride? Walk away. You can totally do this. You can do this. xoxo