This is a partial list of test questions (there are 144 of them) from this book.
I "stole" this from another forum (my original community) and though I don't have this book, I'm gonna get it. Just reading the Google excerpt was eye opening!
Trauma bonding is one of the ways that these relationships are so hard to break off, let go of, put to rest. It's why we get so frustrated with ourselves for NOT being able to let go. Understanding what a trauma bond is will begin the unraveling, and make a heckuva lot of sense of what makes no sense at all :)
Determine how many of the following statements apply to you:
[ ] I sometimes obsess about people who have hurt me and are now gone.
[ ] I try to be understood by those who are incapable or don't care for me.
[ ] I keep secrets for people who have hurt me.
[ ] I stayed in a conflict with someone when I could have walked away.
[ ] I go overboard to help people who have been destructive.
[ ] I sometimes help those who continue to harm me.
[ ] I feel loyal to people even though they have betrayed me.
[ ] I remain a "team" member when obviously things are becoming destructive.
[ ] I make repeated efforts to convince people who were destructive to me and not willing to listen.
[ ] I attempt to be liked by people who clearly are exploiting me.
[ ] I am attracted to untrustworthy people.
[ ] I trust people who have proved unreliable.
[ ] I seek people whom I know will cause me pain.
[ ] I have difficulty distancing myself from unhealthy relationships.
[ ] I continue to have contact with a person who has abused me.
[ ] I am in emotional fights (divorces, lawsuits) that seem endless.
[ ] There are certain people whom I always allow to take advantage of me.
[ ] There are some people in my life who are hard to get over, though they hurt or used me badly.
If your score is low (0-3), this is not an area of concern for you.
If your score is moderate (3-6), you should discuss with friends or a therapist what strategies would help you.
If your score is higher than six, this should be an area of intense focus for you. You may wish to discuss with a therapist a series of target activities to help you with these trauma patterns.