Trapped in "limerence"?

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#1 Jul 9 - 11AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Trapped in "limerence"?

I think narcissists have the potential to be even more limerent than the average person. It's an obsessive state, where he/she is SO into you, it's just kind of nuts. We reciprocate, become limerent ourselves and fully expect that the narc, like us, is attaching in a normal way at the same time, that he/she actually loves our unique selves. Not so.

They may be particularly susceptible to this state as they crave excitement and drama, and adulation, too. There might also be an emotional compensatory aspect. It may be the only bond, however fleeting, they are capable of.

"Limerence begins as a barely perceptible feeling of increased interest in a particular person (who is known as the limerent object) but, if nurtured by appropriate conditions, can grow to enormous intensity. In most cases it also declines, eventually to zero or to a low level. At this low level limerence is either transformed, through reciprocation, or it is transferred to another person — who then becomes the new limerent object.

Under the best of conditions the waning of limerence into mutuality is accompanied by the growth of the emotional response more suitably described as love.

[Dr. Tennov comments—
"But that's the best case for limerence. That may not happen in your particular case."
You can read all of her latest thoughts on this 'thing called limerence' in her new eBook]

Limerence has certain general, basic components:

...Intrusive thinking about the "limerent object" (L.O.)
...An intensity of feeling for the LO that leaves other concerns in the background
...Acute longing for reciprocation
...Occasional fleeting relief from unrequited limerence when vividly imagining some reciprocal action by the limerent object
...Fear of rejection that leads to an unsettling shyness in the limerent object's presence
...Intensification of limerent feelings when rejected by the L.O.
...Acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition on the part of the LO that could in any way, shape, or form be interpreted favorably
...An extraordinary ability to devise or invent "reasonable” explanations to explain or imagine why even neutral actions by the LO are a sign of hidden passion in the LO
...An aching in the chest when uncertainty is strong
...Buoyancy (a feeling of walking on air) when reciprocation “seems” evident
...A remarkable ability to emphasize any trait that is truly admirable in the limerent object
...An equally remarkable ability to avoid dwelling on any possible negative trait ... or even to render that negative into another positive attribute"

http://www.gramps.org/limerence/

Jul 9 - 11AM
IncognitoBurrito
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Oy vey

From the sound of it, it would seem as though I have a bad case of the 'ol limerence, myself.
Jul 9 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
Gullable1
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Mashugana

I still have limerance issues
Jul 9 - 11AM
Gullable1
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Gulp...

Well said, Chillingly well said
Jul 9 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
enpsychopedia r... (not verified)
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Hijacked my mind

This is the part I truly hated. We experienced constant lightening flashes of coincidence, in an ongoing storm of synchronicity; both of us. How could that level of a meeting of 2 souls be terminated without comment? Was this man demonic? Seriously...I wonder. He was spiritually incredibly powerful. This I can't countenance. When I refer to him as a warlock, I'm quite serious.