'Training' you

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#1 Jan 26 - 2PM
fierflie
fierflie's picture

'Training' you

I was just remembering all the 'funny' things he used to say, that I thought were jokes. Do you guy have ome of these 'warning' statement that you thought were jst his quirky sense of humor? Here are some of mine....

ME: you don;t really love me. you might dump me when you get sick of me
HIM: after i spent all the time training you? no way.

MY PARENTS: nice to meet you
ME: I love him
HIM: she's alright, she just needs some trainging, like cooking and cleaning and stuff

HIM: this place is a child molesters paradise

ME: you sure were generous tipping that girl 5 dollars at the ice cream place
HIM: the high school girls always put me in a good mood

HIM: old enough to bleed....

ME: wasn't it disturbing in that movie how he was eyeing his adopted teenage daughter?
HIM: his charector was complicated. who wouldn;t have noticed her? i think we should adopt a teenager

HIM: lets rape your neices' friend and lock her up in a dungeoun

HIM ON MY FIRST DAY AT COLLEGE: lets pretend i'm your daddy and I'm buying you books for school when we go to the book store

HIM AT PUT PUT GOLF: lets pretend i'm your daddy

HIM IN BED: shhhhhh don't tell mommy

HIM ON ME: you love drama. you love to fight. go talk to anyone else. go talk to your therapist. you sure know how to make choices. you don't want to be happy. you are crazy. let me know when you find someone who treats you as good as i do. you need someone to tell you what to do. you need a daddy. you will never really do that. i don't believe you will do it.

HIM ON OUR MARRIAGE ( he is a divorce lawyer): it's just a piece of paper.

HIM ON BEATING ME WITH BELT: it was the worst night of my life. you beat the door down to get more of it.

ME: do you have anyone in your life that isn;t there just to entertain you?
HIM: no

HIM: i dumped her because she was too smart for me (about an x...... thank you?)

what about you guys??

Feb 1 - 7PM
iAmMINE
iAmMINE's picture

OH fierflie!!!

Good to see you sweetness!! ((((fierflie)))) Do you still bellydance? (I remember you using that for healing). How have you been? I have been away for awhile, healing, new job etc, etc etc and blah blah blah... (((((((((fierflie))))))))) ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

Feb 1 - 8AM
really
really's picture

I was told he was "going to

I was told he was "going to make [me] his own personal hand puppet." We quoted Seinfeld all the time and he was laughing, but I knew he meant it.
Jan 31 - 11PM
Miss Lewis
Miss Lewis's picture

My ex Narc said all sorts of

My ex Narc said all sorts of creepy random things. Out of the blue one time he stated: "When I leave women,they get suicidal, self-destructive and turn to drugs and alcohol". He said that with a flat tone in his voice and a straight face. I told him that was not something to be proud of. I caught him leering at other woman and called him on it, he stated (How telling!)" I am going to throw you away like yesterdays trash and forget that you ever existed!". He once told me that he had a problem, and no matter how beautiful a woman was, one woman was never enough for him. I would bring that comment up ocasionaly but he denied ever saying that. He would constantly make lewd and demeaning comments about other woman. He would threaten to "Punish me" frequently. There were so many cracks in his mask it wasn't even funny!
Jan 31 - 9AM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Being "well-trained"

The ex-Psych professor would describe me as being "well-trained." In Leo Tolstoy's writings, the Ideal Woman is described as completely subservient to her husband. In "Family Happiness",the younger innocent wife is insulted&humiliated by her older husband... and Tolstoy describes it as OK. (The wife is young enough to be her husband's daughter) The woman is "trained" to be subservient to her husband. (Ironically, a younger woman rejecting Tolstoy because she found him too controlling was the inspiration for "Family Happiness") He'd compare himself to Prince Andrei in "War and Peace" who emotionally abuses his pregnant wife, reducing her to acting like a timid dog with its tail between its legs. The ex-P would brag about how he made me timid. How he made me "well-trained." In the end, I was as well-trained as that tiger that mauled Siegfried or Roy.
Jan 27 - 9AM
venuslovedpluto
venuslovedpluto's picture

I have some too =/

My exClusterB loveddd to flex his balls by throwing stuff out there and then snatching it back a moment later with a "just kidding!" I never really bought the retract but figured hey everyone needs to get it out, I knew he was an internalizer and passive/aggressive so I let this crap go. Until he started being less subtle, clearly insulting, then I'd refuse to spend time with him. And on downhill from there. He would also frequently say stuff that directly contradicted reality or just plain weirded me out. Pretty unsettling. Some of the ones I remember: (While watching a movie together during which the guy dumps the girl, no warning or consideration, leaving her devastated and confused)... Him: "What an asshole. I'd never do that!" Me: "Really." (Thinking to myself- you already have! To both your wife of 20+ years and myself. Wtf? Deluded much? Or insulting me?) Him: "I think your Mom wants me." Me: "Uhhhh..." (speechless) Him: "Just joking. Your mom is a cutie." Him: "I'm going to tattoo my name on this (grabbing my ass)...your body is mine, no one else's." (he said this a lot) Me: "No tattoos for this girl." (totally creeped out) (While texting each other one night before bed, 2 weeks ago) Him: "I miss you!" Me: "Awwww...." Him: "I wish we could teleport." Me: "That would be pretty freaking cool." Him: "I'm gonna work on that. So I can teleport myself to you. To your bed." Me: "Alright, I'll work on it too. I'll channel my magical powers." Him: "You can't tell anyone though." Me: "Okay, yeah we don't want to be exploited by scientists." Him: (completely ignoring my joke) "You can't tell anyone." Me: "I promise. Goodnite. Text me in the morning?" (thinking, wtf?) Him: "Goodnight." ...... .....On Monday I was watching tv. Kind of. Feeling like crap. Spacing out. On comes the trailer for No Strings Attached with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. First time I've actually watched it. Natalie says; "Wanna use each other for sex?" He says; "Sure!" She says; "You can't tell anyone though." Cute.
Jan 27 - 7AM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Truth Come Out

It is interesting how sometimes these guys say exactly how they perceive the world. But, it's so outrageous that nobody thinks they are telling the truth. This is why when they say really nasty & hurtful things -- they suddenly retract & say, "I was joking." Because when they say how they really see the world & the uses of the people in it -- people think THEY are joking. And, it's so pathological. Once mine was extremely upset about the photographs in VOGUE magazine of little girls all dressed up in a provocative manner. But then I learned from his first ex-wife that he had inappropriately touched her daughter! It's called 'block the kick,' Be outraged about the very behavior you commit (but you know people won't accept) so as to get them off the scent of his trail. That's the motivation behind those preachers who rail against homosexuality while they are in cheap hotels with call boys (paying them with money from the collection boxes).
Jan 31 - 9AM (Reply to #9)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Blocking the kick...

The ex-Psych professor would rail terribly against homosexuality. He deeply despised my gay&lesbian friends, ranting about how they were destroying "family values." The ex-P was proud that he wasn't a "Massachusetts liberal." Then my junior year, the only openly gay prof on campus warned me against the ex-P. I think they had been briefly romantically/physically involved, the gay prof was cruelly D&D'd, and he warned me against getting any more closely involved. The ex-P would tell nasty jokes about priests molesting little boys--as a way of mocking my Catholicism. I think he was also behind the "dangerous to children" accusation that led to me losing my teacher education internship at UNM. The ex-P would say incredibly nasty&hurtful things during class when I lost my grandfather... yet he could not bear being mocked. He'd literally run away if he felt he was being laughed at (even if he weren't) He couldn't stand being made fun of or being an object of ridicule. Sheesh, when I broke NC... it was to make him... *drumroll please* an object of ridicule. I know he hated being compared to children (he hated children). I know he hated being ridiculed. I did both. Don't regret it.
Jan 27 - 9AM (Reply to #7)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

agnesmurphy

You just made my blood run cold. the only time the narc seemed to show any compassion was when he'd come over at night and sadly tell me about the cases he'd had in court that day: always about child sexual abuse. I see him at fifty-three, single, in a dark house, with a six year old boy and my skin crawls.
Feb 1 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
Journey
Journey's picture

I hope he has enough OW to keep him very busy!

Seriously busy. That is a chilling thought helldweller. I think it is weird in the first place simply that he adopted the little boy. I'd like to think his motivation really had more to do with the chick magnet aspect that you once reflected upon in another thread versus this disturbing thought. Yikes! Journey on...

Journey on...

Jan 27 - 7AM (Reply to #6)
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

FOR AGNES MURPHY

It is so amazing what you said because sometime ago I think I wrote to you the comment my EXN made to me" about never loving me but he wanted us to get a house together so he could drive me off the cliff and get the house".It is so out of there thought wise and you do not comprehend it as being normal to these personality disordered men, because what normal person would say that to someone they are suppose to love, NO ONE. I think that comment will haunt me for the rest of my life but i need to get it out of my head because it is like going to an insane asylum and having someone make a comment to you and taking it to heart, INSTEAD of realizing where you are ?? does that make sense to you?Years later when i called him on it ,he said he was just joking.................
Jan 26 - 7PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

None of these were remotely

None of these were remotely "funny" or have any slight characteristic of a "joke". In fact, I am sick for having read this. These aren't "warnings". These ARE the catastrophes. This stuff is deeply revolting. I'm so SORRY for your heart and soul that you had to be on the other end of them :( My exNarc perhaps said two or three things in a similar vein and I admit, I lost it on him every single time. And he didn't get close to that revolting. That you did not run screaming is a sign of severe trauma bonding, Fierflie. So is referring to them in your above post as "jokes" and "warnings" when they are so much worse :(
Jan 27 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
fierflie
fierflie's picture

he also said he used to beat

he also said he used to beat his dog until his hands hurt when he was a puppy, and that he let the dog almost die of dehydration to punish his first wife.
Feb 1 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
Journey
Journey's picture

OMG fierflie

We really all should be rejoicing very loudly to be away from these sick excuses for flesh and blood. Journey on...

Journey on...

Jan 26 - 3PM
Anne_
Anne_'s picture

owww fierfly

mine could have said, or actually said some things you mention HE: I'm so horny I could rape you (knowing that I have a history of sexual violence, and that I was abused) HE: You're making up your own stories, that's very difficult to deal with, you are a pathological story-teller HE (in a bar, when meeting friends): I don't have children He HAS HE: having a child is very subjective, if I feel I don't have children, than I don't HE: We will get married after I've trained you enough to be a good little wife I: You own me 20 euros for groceries HE: What if I gave it to you as a payment for sex And I can keep going on and on like this, most the things you wrote above were in fact SAID BY HIM! creepy, are these guys all alike? Anne