TOTAL RAGE

I am with you girl... I have been angry, really angry for the last two weeks... His hoovering is driving me insane! I too have thought about trying to get even... I have thought about letting the show sheep out of their pens, throwing nails in his driveway, or cutting the fence and letting his cows out... But, he will just retailiate and it will be worse than anything I could have done to him... I agree with everyone else... NC drives them insane...No more power and control... No more puppet on the end of his string... I use stall cleaning as my outlet... I pick poop like a madwoman and it does help some... Hang in there!

I went through the anger stage three different times. All were a lot of fun, but I didn't spend a single moment doing or saying anything to him. I used my anger to power my journal entries, which did a lot to help me see the kind of person I was being (weak, insecure, needy) when I was with him, and I used that power to enable me to pursue a lot of things that would make ME happy. My focus became me, my rage turned into how could I make my own life better? My ex-narc didn't deserve or get a second of my time or energy.

Here's an online voodoo doll, Jen! I think it's got to be good for the inner child and it gives me a little joy. ;) http://www.virtual-design.com/demos/voodoodoll/voodoo.asp?section=demo&subsection=voodoo

I can only tell you that with my most malignant narc (I have only been with narcs unfort.), I was NC for about year and I called him and his answer? "oh, so NOW you're calling me???!!" He was FURIOUS FURIOUS FURIOUS that I had ignored him for so long. He had lost control of his victim...AND he was married at the time! So yes, believe it or not, NC will kill them to their core. Most sociopaths tend to see all of their victims as their eternal property...once you are "theirs" they feel you always belong to them. To them we are like puppets dangling from strings that he pulls...you get off that string and boy is he gonna flip. Trust me...NC is for you and for your fury. It really works.

I agree. The revenge is you get to move forward and he stays stuck in his "LOSER" life. My narc has accomplished nothing in his life. However, He is very good at kissing his mothers ass. :) Hunter

I'm struggling with these feelings as well. I'm not a vengeful person, but my mind has gone crazy with ways I could make him pay for my pain. I know exactly what I could do that would bring him to his knees. His ex-wife has no idea that he is drunk the entire time he has his small children in his care. A well placed comment would probably jeopardize his custody. But I'm taking the high road. The more I concentrate on myself and my own recovery, the less I want to hurt him. I'm trying to see him as the pathetic "wizard behind the curtain" and have pity on him.

Everytime someone bumps off a dangerous psychopath an angel gets her wings....and an AK 47!

I had one of those 'attacks" last night. Not pretty. But I cried my eyes out. That's sometimes how I handle anger, just so damned angry, that I wind up in a heap on the floor, gut wrenching bawling my eyes out.. Mine only attempted contact a few times, every couple of months. I'm almost nine months out now. He got married in july again. So he won't be back. He has launched a smear campaign upon me, though, through people where he works. Working to redeem himself and that image of his. That really angers me because I lost a friendship with someone that he works with. Ironically, she was the one who told me how sick she thought he was. Apparently he is "well" now? He has enough supply and image boosting to keep him happy for a looooooong time, and me off his radar. They don't always come back once they move on.

Hang tight. Believe it or not, that means you are well on your way to healing. Well, when I had those feelings, I knew I had to do something about them or I would just erupt like a volcano with rage. Just me, but I chose to out my narc on a cheater web site, also on a player website, started blogging about my feelings, sent some pretty hateful emails to the narc, outed him to his OW. I neither recommend doing as I did or advise for or against. After I did those things the anger, hate and rage began to subside. Today, I feel at a point of indifference. My feelings are pretty neutral. I no longer love or hate, wish good or bad on him. What he does or with whom, I couldn't care less about. I am now healed and busy planning my future. P.S. I saw a photo of him about 2 months post break-up. He looked all shriveled up, like he'd aged 10 years, definitely much older and uglier, and like he'd lost a lot of his former confidence...he did have an evil look to him, like he was sizing up his new target, planning his attack. Definitely not a pretty picture. Those angry feelings are a good sign your wounds are healing. Hang tight, they don't last forever. I suppose you could make up a voodoo doll or something, maybe throw darts at his picture..just something to vent for angry feelings (here sounds like a good choice!), and get them out of your system. It gets better. Hugs.

Try to find some creative outlet for your anger. I have bouts with the same thing and at the suggestion of my counselor, I went to yardsales and bought lots of cheap dishes. I go into my garage and smash them when I cant take it any more. I have also found the anger release of screaming as loyd as I possibly can. I usually do this in my car with the radio cranked up. It makes me feel better without giving him any supply. My goal continues to be no contact and if the best I ge is to never have contact with him...well, I am ok with that. He doesn't even deserve the joy of my anger Stay strong! Coffee

Same here Jen...7 months out and full of hate. I was doing ok for a little while then hate came back. Today I was getting angry over all of the lies (marriage, going to buy me a car, a house) all the bs. Acts like he's so in love then devaluing then boom and then on to next target. When I saw him with her after 2 moths he looked pathetic with this yellow blonde on his arm. The ah went back to his old gf. I want nothing but the worst for him. If he died tomorrow I would not flinch. They are screwed up, disturbed ah's. And as far as revenge, nothing phases them. Not even law personnel. They are arrogant and pretend to be superior when they really are inferior! If you come up with a plan let me know!! I know they don't like their reps to be ruined! Mine keeps "buying" relationships so his friends will think he's such a great guy. He can't do it on his own merits because there aren't any!!!

It's not just sweet It's SWEEEEEEEET! I see mine all the time and after he screamed shit in my ear and hung up on me I haven't had one personal conversation with him since. That was 3 months ago! I have the opportunity to see what NC does to them. It's not good. Trust me. He looks like he is going to boil over. They can't stand it. I'm sure it has the same effect on them all. I also can see that if I said anything to him about it. I'd be slaughtered. Remain silent. Trust me it's killing him. xxx, Ruby