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Total Lack of Empathy

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#1 Sep 4 - 9PM
truthseeker
truthseeker's picture

Total Lack of Empathy

while attending the funeral that I mention in my story, I phoned him the day of and told him I couldn't believe he hadn't called to check on me or my family to see how we were doing. His reply" I was just sitting here thinking about you"
"The entire time I've known you ,you've never swallowed my c@#"
I was so shocked and sickened I started crying and got off the phone right away.

Sep 5 - 4PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

He probably won't even have

He probably won't even have a funeral. The only people that would come are the old ladies from the church who go to everyone's funeral because they don't have anything else to do. He is a gaping maw of the most disgusting humanity has to produce. He fell out of the asshole of God and got mixed up with the humans. He was a BIG MISTAKE. And you give him the permission to hurt you like this? Stop now, please ((((hugs)))). If you still yearn to get love and acceptance from him, or some kind of apology, some kind of admission that he really is the useless garbage he is, then you are deluding yourself. You are hurting yourself. You are putting yourself in the line of fire and then crying because you got a bullet :( You aren't stupid honey, you are brainwashed. Believe the others who say get away and stay away. It will all make sense very soon. In case I missed that you are now away from him, I'll say GOOD for you :) but I'm too lazy to go back and change all my verbs to past tense ((((hugs))))
Sep 5 - 4PM (Reply to #15)
truthseeker
truthseeker's picture

Briseis

It's been over since that funeral last Sept. He did try for the next 10 months to get me back. I didn't waiver in my resolve . Have had complete NC for 60 days. he can't contact me by phone or e-mail. he has stopped sending letters and leaving things at my door. I do not mourn the loss of him at all. I have only been angry with myself for not listening to my gut from the beginning. I don't miss someone who never loved me to begin with. I undrstand he is uncapable of it. I'm just staring to not beat myself up so much. Embracing Recovery Truthseeker
Sep 5 - 9AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

truthseeker

Assh*le. He needs to die. I will never forget the myriad times he did stuff like that, during funerals, illnesses, etc. These things were just an inconvenience--no a personal attack on--the narc. Once I went to the hospital because I fainted on the street. I was in the emergency room and he texted me, "Something really dirty baby." I wrote back "I'm in the hospital." He wrote back, "Nothing?" Absolutely no regard for, interest in, concern for my being hospitalized. He just wanted some dirty texts, and I'm sure he got them from someone else.
Sep 5 - 5PM (Reply to #13)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

That's sick

A man who expects X-rated texts when you're in the ER is... disgusting. Beyond disgusting. Didn't the monster ever bother to think people have LIVES outside of him? Oh yeah, that would mean THINKING... something Ns/Ps are NOT good at. Your ex-N sounds monstrous. He's the one who needs to be in the hospital, with some inconvenience of his own! Idiot. The ex-Psych professor lashed out me when I gave him some sympathy on account of his aunt's illness (he acted as if going back to Massachusetts to see her over Thanksgiving break was some awful inconvenience) This was HIS aunt... NOT mine, mind you! He lashed out at me after my grandfather died, DURING CLASS, saying things like "Toughen up." The ex-P said his favorite scene in "War and Peace" is when the narcissistic Prince Andrei Bolkonsky (yes,Prince Andrei has been diagnosed as a Narc,long before I did) drives people away from him when HE'S on his deathbed. Prince Andrei is dying... and he doesn't want his loved ones to be with him;he wants to die completely alone. He's also a nihilist. He thinks his death will make him one with Nature-no sense of a final judgment for him,or final accountability before God. The ex-P thought Prince Andrei was his hero.
Sep 5 - 9AM (Reply to #6)
truthseeker
truthseeker's picture

helldweller,ewa & allthatglitters

thanks for the comments. Just started posting. I have 60 days NC today. They are so sick. I retalliated a few times during my time with him and always felt horrible and guilty about it. My heart just isn't that dark. throughout our relationship I heard you are so wrong and I never tried for us or I stoppped trying. I had a procedure last year and had some post-op complications. when I told him what my Dr. had to do he said you won't be tight anymore.
Sep 6 - 5PM (Reply to #12)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

What an insensitive idiot...

Even when you're the one SUFFERING, he only thinks about HIM, and what's in it FOR HIM. Truly disgusting. I'm sorry you had to go through that. The ex-Psych professor would tell me numerous times DURING CLASS, "If you're so unhappy, why don't you kill yourself" after my grandfather died. It came to everyone-including me-as a shock. He had a thing about suicide. One of his favorite Arthur Schopenhauer quotes is about suicide being the ultimate act of the will. His favorite philosopher, Wittgenstein, had brothers who committed suicide--and was himself depressed&suicidal. He also liked Leo Tolstoy, whose wife attempted suicide (obviously as a result of narcissistic abuse),and in "Anna Karenina",the character based on Leo himself, Levin, is still contemplating suicide even after the recent birth of his son. When I told the ex-P "Tolstoy was abusive to his wife. If you love someone, you don't drive them to self-destruction",his response was "She (Sofia) REALLY loved him." He saw attempted or actual suicide as some ultimate act of love. VERY SICK.
Sep 5 - 10AM (Reply to #11)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

truthseeker

Pig. I hate him. One of the narc's best friends left his wife after she had a breast removed because he thought it was "disgusting." The narc said, "How could someone be so calloused?" This was before the D&D.Before I knew the narc was just like him.
Sep 5 - 10AM (Reply to #10)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

truthseeker

Pig. I hate him. One of the narc's best friends left his wife after she had a breast removed because he thought it was "disgusting." The narc said, "How could someone be so calloused?" This was before the D&D.Before I knew the narc was just like him.
Sep 5 - 10AM (Reply to #9)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

truthseeker

Pig. I hate him. One of the narc's best friends left his wife after she had a breast removed because he thought it was "disgusting." The narc said, "How could someone be so calloused?" This was before the D&D.Before I knew the narc was just like him.
Sep 5 - 10AM (Reply to #8)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

truthseeker

Pig. I hate him. One of the narc's best friends left his wife after she had a breast removed because he thought it was "disgusting." The narc said, "How could someone be so calloused?" This was before the D&D.Before I knew the narc was just like him.
Sep 5 - 10AM (Reply to #7)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

truthseeker

Pig. I hate him. One of the narc's best friends left his wife after she had a breast removed because he thought it was "disgusting." The narc said, "How could someone be so calloused?" This was before the D&D.Before I knew the narc was just like him.
Sep 4 - 9PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Total callousness

I feel terrible for you. That man sounds self-centered... just devilish. Someone has DIED and all he does is think ME ME ME ME ME. I'm sorry you had to go through that. That callousness, especially when someone has died... is totally cruel and heartless. There are no words.
Sep 5 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
ewa
ewa's picture

he is a monster

Unbelievable, just unbelievable. I went through hell with my exN, but i can see you deal with somebody much much worse then i did. I can imagine how shocked you were. He is a monster! Is not even about lack of empathy. He wanted to hurt you even more when he saw you are already hurting so much.
Sep 4 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
truthseeker
truthseeker's picture

TC

Thanks Susan32. That's him in a nutshell. Callous, cruel, self-centered. My sister said the hairs on the back of her neck stood up when she met him. She said she was in the prescence of evil. She didn't tell me this until we were over. I spoke with someone at length recently about my expiereance and she said I could add misogynist, sociopath.
Sep 4 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

It's misanthropy

It's not just misogyny. Narcs (and ESPECIALLY Psychs) hate HUMANITY. Not just us ladies, but the gentlemen too. Early on with the ex-P, I saw him treat his male colleagues--his EQUALS-with utter callousness. In my freshman year, when my grandfather died, the ex-P acted with such cruelty that even my classmates were telling him to back down. He'd glare when they told him to knock it off. In my senior year, during the D&D, the ex-P got MORE callous when a pastor friend died. The ex-P's colleagues avoided him for the most part. I can't believe he got tenure, after all he inflicted. All I know is that his parents live with him, raise his kids... and I hope his parents hit ripe old age. With a guy that's so self-centered, you want to ask him "Would you like to be treated that way when YOU die?"