Took a few steps back

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#1 Sep 14 - 6PM
Ariel28
Ariel28's picture

Took a few steps back

I haven't posted here in a very long time, but have been reading over a year now and it has helped me so much and come to realize so many things.

I was doing awesome for a while and maintaining very low contact with my ex N (we have a child together and he has regular visitation with our son) but he has been very nice and normal seeming lately. we've been getting along great during the little time we do see each other while we do the hand off with our son, and it got me back into my old patterns of spinning and pretending he wasn't a narc.

Our divorce was official last week (finally!!!) and after signing the papers I felt really sad and it brought back some of the old junk even more that we had been getting along well. So I made a big mistake and sent him a text wishing him well and saying it was a bummer our marriage hadn't worked out. I know I was hoping for a Hoover or closer and wishing he would say sorry or something. He didn't of course.

So today he tells me he is taking our son out of state with his girlfriend (it's his weekend to have him overnight) to visit her brother. I freaked out and said I wasn't comfortable with that because I don't know these people and he and his girlfriend started yelling at me at the same time saying it was my fault because I didn't want to meet his new girlfriend and that she wanted to meet me and was so mature about everything since she wanted to have a good relationship with me blah blah blah. Then she yelled at me that it's been a year and I just need to get over it and accept the fact that he has a live in girlfriend now. Which is true. It just hurt so much and I felt so weak and ganged up on

I had been doing so well for like 6 months or so and felt so strong and then this happened. I guess maybe breaking the low contact was harmful and brought this about? Like, I started to go out of my way to text him things about our son etc. And it was our sons 2nd birthday this weekend and we shared what gifts he got at each of our parties etc

It's been a long time but I'm feeling really in need of support and maybe some helpful reminders and suggestions. I hate that he and his girlfriend are making me sound like a jealous person that needs to be friends with her and can't get over it. Ugh.

Anyways thank you to everyone for your posts and blog posts. They help me so much !

Sep 15 - 9AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

I think a step back is a good

Sep 15 - 12AM
Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

Pretending he wasn't a narc?

Pumpkin

Sep 14 - 8PM
ItsFinallytime
ItsFinallytime's picture

Hi Ariel. Sounds like

Sep 14 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
Ariel28
Ariel28's picture

Thank you for your reply! I