Today would have been our 3 year anniversary

But you know what...I didn't even occur to me until a few minutes ago.
I still feel sad and angry sometimes.
It go me to thinking...
What if...
I was still with Cruella...and this Anniversary day came around?
This is how it would have gone down.

Me: Hi baby, Happy Anniversary! (kiss on the cheek)
Her: What? It's our anniversary? I'm not good with those
things, I don't keep track.

Me: It's okay. Here's a special gift and card I got for you.
Cruella looks bewildered as she opens the card and reads it.

Her: hmmm

Me: Why don't we go for dinner to celebrate?
Her: Oh, I don't think I can. I'm busy tonight.
I have to watch some paint dry.

Me: Okay, well, I understand. Maybe some other time.

Her: Well, maybe we could get a quick bite.
Me: Oh, that would be nice. Let's go to that new Italian place I have been hearing about.

Her: That's too expensive. They have a corkage fee.
(note: she doesn't even know what a corkage fee is or how it works) Let's go to Chez Provencal (read: I will never take you anywhere YOU actually want to go, especially on this occasion, which was entirely fabricated by you. We will go where ever I want to go, and you will be graced with my presence. You are not important to me, and I will not recognize this "anniversary" by taking you anywhere special that might mean something to you.

I'm not going to pick you up either, so just be ready by the time that I have dictated. You can meet me at the restaurant.

Me: Okay then, what time would you like to meet?

Her: I'll call you.

2 hours later:

Her: Meet me at Chez Pretentious at 8:00.
Me: Okay, see you then. Where is it?

Her: Google it

later on this same night:

It is 10 minutes to 8, and I am lost. I cannot find the restaurant, it's dark and snowing.
I call her up on her phone to see if she could help me with directions - and it just rings and rings,
no answer.

The moral of the story? They won't even give you the time of day - LITERALLY. And when you are lost, you can forget any help from them. I would bet everything I own that she was just sitting their smugly as the phone rang off the hook, cracked an evil smile and then hit the "IGNORE" key.

How's them apples?