Thoughts on Chemistry
Thoughts on Chemistry
I have struggled through this whole process and wondered about my deep attraction to the N. How could I feel so attracted to someone who could treat me so cruelly? Well I have done some reading on this site and in other places about the dynamics of unhealthy relationships. I think the attraction can best be summed up in two parts, I can't remember where I read these things, if I could cite them I would. 1)The fantasy - the attraction is so intense because the N has created the ultimate fantasy of himself for you, and promises that you will have it. And you do have it for a period of time, it feels so good and it's very hard to separate it even after the N has shown their true colors. The fantasy is so intense in the beginning that it is very hard to serparate it from the N once he has started to devalue you. 2)I have read this is several places, the fact that the person withdraws from you only intensifies the chemistry. Once the attention is turned to you again, it is a great relief and therefore those feelings are tied into the chemistry as well. I think people probably have different opinions on this and would love to hear other comments or theories. For me I think I will see that intense chemistry with someone as one of the red flags for myself from now on. I remember other relationships that were healthier where I felt chemistry with the person, but not like this. I guess it's really helpful for me to read explanations about chemistry because I find it helps me unplug from it.
Thanks Barbara
Jen22
incorrect thinking
Chemistry
Same here.
no chemistry at all
Narcissistic Parent
Targetted--