Thinking of breaking NC???

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#1 Apr 18 - 11AM
spinning
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Thinking of breaking NC???

Unfortunately, the damage these disordered ones do is evident by our membership. We have new members joining all the time, many who have just suffered the D & D and are struggling with No Contact.

I know the struggle. I know it intimately, unfortunately. But I want to tell you all the struggle is worth it. No Contact is about YOU, not them. It restores your ability to think clearly...but you must push through it for the clarity to come. One little contact starts the "spin cycle" all over again. Trust me on this. I've been there.

While early in No Contact, it's easy to think well maybe I'll just send a quick text to say we're through or to say I miss you or to say F' off or whatnot, and that somehow by doing that you'll feel better. Logically, you may already know that it makes no sense to think that returning to the source of your pain will somehow make you feel better, but the draw is there anyway.

Bottom line I'd like anyone to think about when considering breaking No Contact is this:

Every time you reach out to your abuser, you give him or her on a silver platter yet another opportunity to D & D you. DON'T GIVE THEM THAT OPPORTUNITY. ROB THEM OF THE OPPORTUNITY TO TREAT YOU POORLY BY STAYING NO CONTACT.

If you hand them the opportunity to D & D you by contacting, you can be assured that the disordered one will take it, sooner or later, either through silent treatment, a rage, sucking you back in and then vanishing out of sight.

IF YOU BREAK NO CONTACT YOU ARE OFFERING YOUR ABUSER A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO D & D YOU ALL OVER AGAIN.

I'll speak for myself and say one D & D is one too many...why go in for another one?

You have the power now. Keep it with No Contact.

I hope this is helpful to anyone who might be thinking that contact would somehow make them feel better. The truth is Contact = Pain.

Love and good vibes for strength and clarity to all who stop here from,
(not) spinning. BECAUSE I'M TOTAL AND COMPLETE NO CONTACT FOR GOOD AND FOREVER.

Jan 13 - 10PM
LiarLawyer
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Love your posts!

Jun 9 - 4AM
GettingBackTo M
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Thank you Spinning

Mar 30 - 3AM
sick_of_being_s...
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Great post! Thank you and

Mar 29 - 4PM
NoMoreFreakBoy
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Helped me

Mar 29 - 9AM
hopingforstrength
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this sounds so dumb - lol..

Mar 29 - 9AM (Reply to #52)
talktothehand
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D & D

Mar 29 - 9AM (Reply to #50)
done as dinner
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Devalue & Discard. A staple

Mar 29 - 9AM (Reply to #51)
hopingforstrength
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ohhhhh. makes perfect sense.

Nov 10 - 1PM
Alibi_10
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So glad I read this ...

Jun 8 - 9AM (Reply to #48)
Ellie Ray
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The hardest ex to ex

Mar 29 - 9AM (Reply to #47)
hopingforstrength
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sounds like hes trying to get

Nov 10 - 5AM
Goldie
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EXCELLENT REMINDER SPINNING

Apr 19 - 6AM
julesuk
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Great Post Spinning

Apr 18 - 10PM
neverlookback
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Well

Apr 19 - 6AM (Reply to #42)
Alissa
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yeah what's with them and

Apr 19 - 6AM (Reply to #43)
Snowflake
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Alissa

Apr 18 - 10PM
rosedewittbukater
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Great point Spinning

Apr 18 - 9PM
Lookonthesunnyside
Lookonthesunnyside's picture

Great post spinning!! Thank

Apr 18 - 9PM
Lookonthesunnyside
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Great post spinning!! Thank

Apr 18 - 7PM
Movingforwardnow
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Great post!

Apr 18 - 6PM
wsh
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I have read ALL

Apr 18 - 2PM
Snowflake
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Spinning can you..

Apr 18 - 2PM
Goldie
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Thank you Spinning

Apr 18 - 1PM
Monarch
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Wish I would've seen this

Nov 4 - 12PM (Reply to #33)
misshymers
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Unfortunately

Apr 18 - 9PM (Reply to #32)
Lookonthesunnyside
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Monarch I'm very sorry to

Apr 18 - 2PM (Reply to #31)
janemarie
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monarch

Apr 18 - 1PM (Reply to #30)
Janie53
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Monarch

Apr 18 - 1PM (Reply to #25)
Snowflake
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Monarch

Apr 18 - 1PM (Reply to #26)
Monarch
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How do I PM?