Things that make you go "HUH?" aka ...what is the most horrible thing you witnessed your narc do against another person while

cruelest to me: - insisted I leave his house in the dead of winter when I had a bad flu and there was a power outage at my house so no heat there. he had to go to the gym and did not trust me to be there alone for a few hours. I had to drive around in my car deathly ill to have some heat until the power came back on - I got very sick I wonder what the hell he was so afraid of me finding? I was too sick to snoop...

So weird....sometimes I can't even point out all she did. It was SO much, but when asked it's like I forgot or it's so passive agressive that it's hard to explain! But I got it now.... My female N, who is married, constantly flirted with another man who was part of the gang of people that would hang out together. She would email him, chat with him online and be very physical with him at gatherings. His wife was bothered by it, but it didn't stop. So the wife stopped attending the gatherings (the guy attended anyway without his wife!) My N turned the whole group of friend's against his wife calling her a "crazy bitch"...literally renamed her that. One of the worst things she ever did to me while we were together made me want to immediately throw up... She knew I was already sensitive to that guy she would flirt with at gatherings. We were all camping one weekend and had had a couple drinks. She had been flirting with this guy and then she jumped on the back of a bike with him and they rode off. She comes back and shows me the grass stains on her back and tells me that he is "well hung"....I wanted to throw up. I immediately left. I asked her about it later, I was SO upset and hurt. She said nothing happened, they're just friends. I said I didn't believe her and she said all we did is kiss. She said you can choose to believe whatever you want and I can't change it. I asked would you even lead me to believe you got it on with him.....she said "I don't know, maybe to make you jealous." SO SICK!!!

This is a nice easy question to answer. The event that occurred, and the one I think that first really gave me a wake up call, was when he ditched me and went off with the other guy he'd been seeing behind my back. I heard all the gossip about it, and it turned out he had poured poison down this guy's ear about his partner until he was convinced he didn't love his partner any more. Having done that, this other guy then told his partner to leave. Narc Boy didn't even let him finish moving his stuff out - didn't even let him leave with his head held high - before he was moving in. I mean the bed musn't have even cooled down! I was just amazed and ENRAGED that he could treat someone (even if they were his "opponent") so callously.

Narc had a good friend named T throughout high school. They attended the same college and were fraternity brothers. A women named J also attended high school and college with Narc & T, were from the same hometown and had known each other for years. On and off during college, Narc and the woman J were f*ck buddies. After college, Narc goes on to marry his first wife. T & J also get married. The two couples remained good friends and would get together often. After Narc's divorce several years later....the woman, J comes over to his house to talk/help him through the divorce. She is still married to Narc's childhood friend/fraternity brother. They end up having sex, anal, blow jobs, the whole works and he VIDEOS it! Fast forward several years and Narc is still watching and enjoying the "sexy" videos of, and I quote, "F*cking that nasty whore J in the ass." If that's not enough...T& J are still married...J & the first wife are still friend's (and clueless, I presume)...Narc is still friends with his old childhood friend. A few months back he had the audacity to write on his Facebook page "Happy Birthday T. You deserve nothing but the best, my friend!" Guess the rules of common decency don't apply to him. Oh, and of course, according to Narc, the woman J is still madly in love with him and wants more, but he's not interested. I'm so done!! FFI

My xn did a lot of cruel and cold things...one weird thing he did was keep two cats his xw left him with locked up in the cellar, I thought that was weird, I'd ask if I could let them up in the morning. He said to me when I look at those cats I see her head on their bodies!! He had a couple of potted plants on the deck and he had some ground hogs around his property, he took pleasure in shooting the innocent ground hogs, (not when I was there I wouldn't let him) but he told me about it said one got away wounded, he would pick up their bodies and throw them into the uncleared area of his yard, we could smell one of them one day from the deck, he said oh I didn't throw him far enough. This is so he can feel good about himself, pump himself up. He drove his fire car around everywhere with me in it, when someone was broke down on the side of the rode he would NEVER stop to help them, just drive right by, said he could not be bothered with that, he only stopped once that I know of when he said he had no choice a guy was swerving all over the road. A real hypocrite because he would sit in a bar with me and brag about being a fire chief and how that is all he ever wanted to do since he was a little boy, live his dream, thought he was some kind of hero. When we first met I took him to my sister's for Christmas Eve, her husband took our picture, my sister, me and him, when we broke from the picture, he slapped my sister on her ass!! I remember apologizing to her a few days later I was horrified, then I forgot about it after we broke up my brother in law brought it up to my sons, he would like to punch him out. When my son was buying his townhouse shortly before we broke up he turned to me in the car when we were driving and proudly declared that he submitted a fake tax return with his mortgage application when he bought his house with his second wife! Imagine a Fire Chief doing that? He also had spy ware on the family computer and was able to get all his second wife's passwords, when they separated he would access her banking, email and match.com accounts, when I got mad he said he had to do it to strategize for his divorce and he was fearful for his daughter because his xw had a one time stalker or something. (No boundries). He would drink and drive the town vehicle all the time and got into two car accidents with that car. Make the rules and break the rules. Two of his brothers sued him too. One recently, we woke up one morning and he thought someone stole his ATM card because his checking account was cleaned out, $6,000 so he said. We went to the bank and reported it so I know its true. A few days later he told me his brother a CPA who is straight as an arrow was the one who did it. He claims it is all in his brother's head that he owes him money from some accounting work the brother did for him years ago on a subdivision my xn built. From what my xn said it was $25,000, but who knows could be $250,000. At any rate what judge would clean out a Fire Chief's account based on unsubstantiated allegations. Amazing isn't it? And this is what I know, imagine what I don't know?? A real winner.

The ex-Psych prof apparently had had a brief affair with the only openly gay professor on campus. Well, in my junior year, I had a class with the openly gay prof. The ex-P would be incredibly dismissive of the gay prof, saying, "He's a man scorned." He was convinced he was sooo much smarter than all his colleagues. Most ladies here were warned by a female ex... I was warned by a male ex. The ex-P frequently discredited his ex-boyfriend. Now I know why. THANKS to the openly gay prof, I NEVER got physically/romantically involved with the ex-P! So I did take some of his warnings seriously.

My Narc had an affair with his bosses fiance! His boss took special care of him at work and treated him so good!! They were close friends and my Narc repaid him by sleeping with his fiance. Sick sick sick!

Hi, A day after my mom had passed away I was over the N's house crying and he told me to leave (now I know it was because the "ex" girlfriend was going to drive by and see my car, which had belonged to my mom, parked in his driveway.) When I didn't leave he kicked in the side doors and then jumped on the hood of the car like a gorilla. It cost me $5,000 to fix the body damage. Insane!

Except whoever his woman is. Everyone thinks he is a big gentle friendly guy. I thought so too...until the evil side emerged with intimacy.

The ex-Psych prof HATED children in a profound way. He admired how his idol, Leo Tolstoy, practically ignored his own children (Leo's diaries reveal that), abandoned his wife when she was pregnant or in labor... and once said that people who hate children cuddle them, but that good people regard infants with pity, disgust, and fear. I volunteered at a local elementary school. One of his colleagues' children went to school there. The ex-P would refer to the kids as dumb&stupid, call them "snot-nosed urchins." One of his favorite Arthur Schopenhauer quotes is that women relate to children well because they're perpetually stuck in childhood. The ex-P hated being compared to children;I'd tell him his tantrums helped me with dealing with the kids down the street. Just as I was patient with him, so I'd be patient with them. Heck, when I broke NC, it was to say a middle-aged man acting like a toddler was GREAT preparation for my nephew, I've seen it all before! I HAD to have the last laugh.

I wrote these already but: -he left my daughters and I at home on Thanksgiving when we were supposed to go to his friend's house with him for dinner. I had made several pies for the dinner and had gotten into a fight with my brother because the narc wouldn't let us stop by my mom's on the way to the other dinner to have a glass of wine and say hello. He forbade it. So I arranged to be with only his family for Thanksgiving, bought a sixty dollar bottle of champage and flowers to take along with making the pies and right before we were supposed to leave, he came out of his house with his brother and the foster child, got into the car and drove away. He did not answser my calls or texts all day, but that night texted, "Hi baby" at eleven wanting to come over and have sex.. He claimed that I'd said I was "busy" on Thanksgiving and that he hadn't gotten my eighty or so calls after he left. I had no car and my daughters stayed home alone and had soup out of a can. Right up there with that incident was the foster child's first birthday when the two of them drove away right before we were supposed to have a birthday dinner for "our" child that Friday afternoon. My daughters--five and eight at the time--had made presents, cards and a cake for their "brother" and had decorated the whole house and helped make dinner. They didn't come home until Sunday night and didn't answer the phone all weekend. I found out later that the other woman had come in from California for the weekend and had a huge party of the child at her hotel and then took them to an indoor waterpartk for the weekend, and that the narc's whole family was there. When he got home he claimed I had been mad at him and he was letting me cool off. The next day he went to California at the last minute "for a real estate closing," but promised to propose to me and get me pregnant when he got home. Of course, he went to see the OW who was demanding a visit because he never traveled to see her. Of course, also classic was the time I miscarried his baby and he didn't answer the phone when I needed to go to the hospital. I went next door to his house with blooding dripping from me and he didn't answser the door. The next morning he said he thought I was "kidding" when I'd called him about miscarrying. An hour later he left for Las Vegas for a week without telling me he was going. A fifty-three year old esteemed judge with a five year old foster child.

Like I said earlier, I'm certain there were a ton of doozies BUT one that I took note of... HE STOLE MY DUSTPAN!!! Yea, he was gonna start the gaslight campaign...this was towards the end... And you know what...that was just sick... Maybe trivial to some folks but if you really really really think about it...A freaking DUSTPAN!! To think that to this day from a logical point of view I got off easy, but when you really think about what is churning in their minds....a DUSTPAN? I don't know what to call that behavior...

The ex-Psych prof has an essay in its entirety on the internet (the rest now have pay walls, because *I* told him to get himself published if he wanted $$$ that bad), and in the FIRST FOOTNOTE, he refers to two people by their full names, bashing them because they "criticized his original word choice." They probably thought they were doing him a favor, helping him with editing... and he disses them in the first footnote. When a fellow professor called him by his first name, he gave this colleague the silent treatment. He pretended not to notice til the other prof called him "Mr. T---." The BIG ONE was that when I had a nice conversation with his girlfriend (he didn't bother introducing her to his colleagues-heck-he could've made me look like the crazy one&usher her away).. he physically abandoned her. He ran from the auditorium. When she realized he had left, she went running down after him. She had moved all the way from LA to be with him. He expected me to be angry&jealous at her. It backfired. Big time. I dealt him some Narc injuries that I hope hurt worse than a thousand paper cuts.

My ex-boyfriend from 2009 would spend up all of my money, but one time he decided to "treat" me to an evening out, and I was so touched because I thought it was him finally coming around to appreciating me. Well come to find out, his mother needed money for rent because he was staying with him, and he knew if he didn't have the money, she would fall on hard times financially plus, he knew he could manipulate her enough to feel sorry for him because if he had no money, he had no place to stay, so he spent it all on me, which resulted in her getting angry with me because he told her I manipulated him into spending it.

He was mad at his best friend of over 25 years because his best friend made a comment about one of the narcs ex-girlfriends from 25 years ago. the best friend said something about the narcs ex-girlfriends butt. Now, I planned a big expensive birthday party for the narc and did not know that he was having a serious affair with a co-worker. The narc set the co-worker (his mistress) up on a blind date with his best friend. They were to come to the narc's birthday party (that I planned) for the blind date. The mistress and the best friend came to the party together as a couple. The next day the mistress calls the best friend and tell him that she had a good time but was did not see a relationship forming so it was nice meeting you. This was the narc's idea of paying the best friend back for making a comment about his ex-girlfriend from 25 years ago. This was a 40 year old man doing something so terrible. Oh, and the narc told me about the set-up 4 months later when I put him out. PSYCHO! The best friend cut him off 6 years ago and never looked back.

It's not that I witnessed anything personally rather I learned his true character : Lying to me beyond belief! - he was a married man cheating on his wife with multiple partners, having unproctected sex with OW, spening their money like it grows on trees, then giving his wife the silent treatment when she finds out and will not answer her questions, finding out he lied to everyone including me and THEN after leaving his wife after being discovered -moving on to date her BEST FRIEND and enjoying hurting her... and all us. DISGUSTING PIG I would never want this kind of person and I hate him to this day for what he did to all of us.

I will private message you too scared to post :-)

I wish I could answer this one...but I draw a blank...either he's done so much that I've blocked it all or I have alzheimers...I dunno... On a serious note, I'd have to think about it...he was really good at his game... I tend to think there are a bunch of doozies, it's just he was so good at what he did, (behind my back) that I can't report cause it was all hidden... I will think on this...it's a good question... Hugs!